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Potty training

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Toddler scared to "release" - potty training

4 replies

JoyousEagle · 09/03/2025 17:25

We've been trying to potty train DD2 (2 yrs 10 months) and I'd appreciate any advice.

She knows when she needs a wee/poo, but is scared to "release", so just holds it, clearly uncomfortable. She will say "I need the potty" but jump up upset after sitting down, or she'll do the tiniest bit of wee in the potty, freak out, and stop and refuse to sit back down.

Eventually she either has an accident because she hasn't been able to hold it any longer but hasn't wanted to sit on the potty, or it just gets to nighttime and she has a nighttime nappy put on, which she quickly fills. Sometimes she takes a while to wee even with the nighttime nappy on, like she continues to struggle to release, because she is obviously uncomfortable and needing a wee.

It wasn't initially like this - when we first started we had a few occasions where she had a tiny accident (few spots of wee), would tell us, we'd move her to the potty and she'd do the rest. So her awareness of needing a wee has improved, but her willingness to go had drastically worsened.

We've tried various things - reward charts, chocolate button rewards, distraction to get her to sit on the potty for as long as possible, putting an unfolded nappy in the potty, putting her on the loo rather than the potty. None of this has helped. She is very happy to sit on the potty or toilet when she doesn't need to go. But if she senses she might be about to release, she jumps up upset. She cannot articulate what the issue is/what is upsetting her.

Because she is absolutely aware of needing to go, I'm reluctant to put her back in nappies, but is that the answer?

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Namerchangee · 09/03/2025 17:29

I didn’t personally try this with my kids but I’m sure I’ve read somewhere that giving them some bubbles to blow when they’re sat on the potty can relax them enough to allow them to go. I wouldn’t put her back in nappies if she’s recognising the urge to go - but I have also read that cutting a hole in pull-ups and then having them sit on the potty when they feel the urge can help them to feel comfortable - but then you’ll have to eventually wean them off this so might not be the way forward.

JoyousEagle · 09/03/2025 17:33

I tried the bubbles today. Because she needed a wee she just didn't engage because I think she was just focusing on not releasing. But maybe if I try it before she gets to the stage of feeling like she needs to go, she might be less focused on it.

I will try the hole in a pull up thing, thanks.

OP posts:
TheAlertFinch · 09/03/2025 17:34

Get her some bubbles to blow. Or give her a balloon to blow up.

Firsttimemummyworries · 16/04/2025 20:03

Could you try a bag of toys that stays by the toilet and she plays with in there. Try and distract her see if she will go?

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