Going back to pull ups?!

[Realityversus]

DS is 8, and is still in pull ups so to speak. He has regularly said he wants to be out of them but maybe 6/10 days they were wet. Mil let's him not use a pull up at their house, so about a month ago he came back saying he wanted to do it at home too. It was school hols so I was happy to try. We only had 1 wet bed in 10 days so I thought nice one we've cracked it.

Go forward 3 weeks and we've only had 1 day out of the last 10 that's not been wet. Ds gets upset every time and says sorry like he's disappointed us, I'm always quick to reassure him that it's not something he can help but he hates it. I think alot of that comes from the fact mil has been promising him treats if he can stay dry, despite the fact I've explained to everyone numerous times it's not a learned thing, it's hormonal.

At what point do I cave and tell ds it's time to go back to pull ups?

If he’s 8 and not yet pottery trained I assume he’s got SEN? If so I’d put him back in pull ups as that many accidents it doesn’t sound like he’s ready to potty train. What does his school say, are they supportive?

No, he's 8 and not dry at night. The OPs post wasn't difficult to understand?

Yes put him back in pull ups and maybe speak to the gp about a referral for an alarm or medication. Also have serious words with your MIL about her unrealistic expectations on your poor son.

I sorry but OP didn’t mention night time once in the OP, and called it potty training, so yes I am assuming general potty training including wet beds.

If that’s the case though and it’s just night time that he’s not dry then he should be taken to the doctor as it’s considered normal up until age 7 and after that the doctor may start looking into things.

She mentioned about there being one wet bed and it being hormonal. She didn't call it potty training that's just the title of the topic she's put it into? I feel like you're reading a completely different thread.

There is a great charity called Eric eric.org.uk which has lots of info about night time wetting.

My advice

Stop all blackcurrant and caffeine drinks
Increase day time drinks to 7 large drinks a day
Stop drinks 1-2 hours before bed
Double wee at bed time (before and after tooth brushing)
Encourage him to help change the bed (not as a punishment)
Rewards for things he can control (not for dry nights)

We went to GP for ds1 and saw a continence nurse we tried all the practical things, then medication and then the alarm. With ds3 we bought an alarm off amazon.

With the alarm you have to be fully committed as a family and really persevere.

Well I have ASD so it’s entirely possible I misunderstood the OP!

We have these large washable puppy pad style mats on the bed, so if they have an accident they just take the mat & pjs off, put new one on and go back to sleep.

No he's not SEN, he's been dry since 2 through the day it's just nights. Wev done all the usual stuff, we limit drinks before bed and he has water or orange instead of blackcurrant, goes for a wee immediately before bed etc.

We do use the puppy pad things but I put them under his top sheet as he's a wriggler so they move loads if they're on the top, it does make it a bit easier as then I only need to change the top sheet and bin the pad not absolutely everything.

I think I'm going to make a GP appt just to be sure it's nothing medical but i think for the time being we may just need to go back to pull ups, but keep the routine wev got going to encourage him to be dry

Sorry I just realised I didn't really specify in the op that its just a night time thing!

Buy one of those alarms that goes off as soon as it detects moisture. I can’t imagine why or how that works, but it did with my DS! We called it Beepy and only needed it for a few weeks,

My son is 7 and in night pants. I need to book a dr appointment to check nothing wrong. But I think at this age it's still hormonal. We need to stop blackcurrent. It's started bothering him.

Exactly the same, he's started being bothered by it thinking it's him and that his friends don't wear them etc. I've tried explaining to him that it's a hormone thing and that we don't know if his friends wear them or not, and that it's nothing to be worried about his body will do it in its own time

I would try a bed alarm. It might be that he is sleeping really deeply. It worked with our son after 2 weeks. You might need to sleep in his room and get up with him when it goes off but that might be enough to sort it within a couple of nights.

We decided to stick with pull ups until we had the time, energy and motivation to introduce the alarm. Kids need a good nights sleep and parents need to not be washing everything all the time.

I wish coverless duvets had been more widespread when my ds were little. They are so much quicker and easier to wash and dry. We ended up using a large plastic sheet and towels over the top before a fitted sheet. Much easier to wash and dry (and wipe clean).

Yes Beavers camp started his worry

Yep, he started beavers last year, we're away when camps on this year but he's already asked if he can stay over at the next camp

My boys both did Beaver and cub camps wearing pull ups and as a leader we had children in pull ups on camp. The leaders, parents and children worked together to ensure privacy.

I read somewhere that 1 in 20 children are not dry at night at 10yrs so in a class of 30 there is likely to be 1 or 2 children who are wet at night. Even more for younger ages.

If he's had 1 dry night out of 10, then absolutely yes, I wouldn't hesitate to go back to pull-ups. At his age, getting a good nights rest is absolutely crucial. You can chat with your GP about it - but almost always they'll tell you that its surprisingly a common thing in boys his age.

Parents just don't talk about it as much at this age, but - there's a reason most every large store has row upon row of nighttime pull-ups for sale in his age/weight range. They wouldn't stock these if people weren't buying them - he's not alone!!

I don't personally agree with your MIL offering rewards/bribes to him for staying dry. If he genuinely can't help it yet, then you're only going to dishearten him by pushing something that he's not ready for just yet. Nighttime dryness is developmental, not behavioral. You can't 'teach' a kid to suddenly be dry at night, if their body isn't ready.