4 year old still wet of a night - advice please ?

[Mum7644885]

My LO has just turned 4 and is still wetting in a pull up every night despite being dry in the day since she was 2 and a half. I’m wondering what is normal ?

Once she was dry in the day, she went a month dry at night and when I was going to switch her to knickers, she started wetting again. She drinks so much water (she is medically fine but just like to drink water, as did I when I was little) I feel bad not letting her drink of an evening like they say to do and she ALWAYS asks to take water to bed, so again I feel bad taking that away from her, imagine wanting a drink and being told no ? But ultimately that means she has a full bladder through the night.

Should I be addressing this ? If so how ? Or should I wait it out ?

Mine was the same. I didn't make a big deal of it and she continued to wear pull ups until she was dry around her 6th birthday. No accidents since so glad we didn't make a big thing about it. She was my first though so I didn't really know what I was doing. Other more experienced people may say differently!

Mine is 6yo and still like this. I spoke to the GP when they were 5, but they said other than a bed wetting alarm there is nothing else that can be done until at least 7+ when they would sometimes consider medication. My 6yo doesn't want to try an alarm. We don't make a big deal out of it and we will revisit when they're older if it continues to be an issue.

Thanks all, I was hoping she was going to just grow out of it and I didn’t think much of it until friends little ones who are younger were dry of a night and not in pull ups any more and I thought hmmm is this normal ?

I'm afraid my daughter had this until she was 10. She has no other unusual medical or sen issues. Apparently it's because she didn't get a certain hormone that gets produced at night until she hit puberty.

You can try the alarm and you can try various other means that we just have to keep using pull-ups. Luckily she was very skinny so too hard to use the ones for toddlers!

We taught her ways of managing it at sleepovers and scout camps so that you would learn to get changed when no one else could see and hide them away because obviously she didn't want to get teased but we also didn't make much of a thing out of it.

Your daughter of course me sort out the issue much sooner. She is now 15 and never has any issues.

You do know that they have to have certain hormones before they are dry at night? Four is still small. I wouldn't worry about it until she's at least six. Put her in pull ups and praise her if she's dry in the morning, but don't fret about it.

Being dry at night is due to a hormone called vasopressin and not all kids are producing enough at age 4. Some take until about 7 years old and a few up to about 11. So it isn't worryingly late yet. Is she prone to constipation at all because that can make a difference. My friend's little one ended up under investigation when she was 7 after even things like the continence alarm sheet didn't make a difference and it turned out that she wasn't feeling her bladder full due to being so used to being constipated (she had been since a baby). She went on a clean out protocol of movicol and ended up cutting out gluten as in the end it turned out that she was constipated from gluten intolerance. She then did become dry at night.

If you have issues with constipation I would look to get them well sorted out now and see how she is after that. Otherwise I would just carry on with the pull ups for now and don't make a big deal if it.

My DD is nearly 6 and still wears pull ups at night. They are soaking in the morning and sometimes she leaks through.
As a PP has said it's to do with a hormone.
We don't make an issue I just reassure her it's fine that she still wears pull ups and everybody if different.

Wait it out, be patient, and don’t give her a hard time about it. She is consciously doing all the right things potty-training-wise whilst awake, and she has no control over the nighttime hormone. If you want to, you can lift her when you go to bed, where she doesn’t really wake up, you put her on the toilet (whilst standing in front of her, so she leans against you), wipe her bottom for her, pull up her pjs, and put her back in bed. We lifted my youngest for a year or two.

Thanks everyone for the responses, I did know about the hormone but I haven’t come across any one else who is still wetting through the night so reassuring to hear so many others are/wernt dry at 4 and beyond. I will keep her in the pull-ups and praise when she has a dry night, I’ll keep getting her to wee before bed and try to reduce liquids where possible and just wait for the change.

@Brenna24 no issues with constipation luckily ! So won’t be that, just must be the lack of hormone

My DS is 6.5, has been dry in the day since he was 3, and still wears pullups at night.

Also, my DD is 11. Day dry just before 3. She was in night time pullups until she was about 7, then suddenly had a week of them being dry (and waking up if she needed a wee), so she stopped wearing them. Never had an accident or anything.

I don't think there's anything to worry about yet, OP!

Totally normal. Ds took about 3 days to be totally reliable in the day before he was 3yo - wasn't dry at night until 7yo. Just use pull ups and forget about it. As has been said, it's physiological, they need to start producing a certain hormone, you can't train that into them.

DS1 became spontaneously dry overnight at 4.5 so I kept expecting the same for DS2 but it never happened. He reached 7 still wearing a pull-up, which was nearly always very wet and often the bed would be soaking wet too. Still I clung to the hormone theory, he just wasn’t ready… until I decided to do a trial without the pull-up. We had a few nights of a wet bed but within 10 days he’d cracked it and has been totally dry overnight ever since. Now I feel daft for not trying it before, so for anyone else in that position if you haven’t done a trial without pull-ups I’d give it a go.

People whose kids aren’t dry at night don’t advertise the fact much, but there are plenty of them waiting for the hormone to kick in (you can tell from the sizes on offer in the nappy aisle)

@Hattysbackpack
interesting you say that because she was dry for a good month and I left her in the pull-ups and I regretted it because I do wonder now if I’d have switched her to knickers would the dryness have continued or did I just make it easier for her by keeping her in nappies and she’s become a bit complacent. The only reason I say that is because a couple months ago, I was reading a bedtime story, she was awake and I could hear her weeing in the nappy sitting in her bed, I was like super confused, and said why would you do that when wide awake (in a nice way) and genuinely think she was just being a bit lazy, so I do think there is an element of her just being happy to wee in them so she doesn’t have to get up of a night

I wet the bed until I was about 8, same with my DSS. My 6 year old niece still wets the bed. It’s not to do with how much water they drink, it’s their body not waking them when they need the loo. She is very young to expect her to be dry at night, don’t worry.

4 is fine. Don't start worrying yet. My youngest was dry from 3, but my eldest is still not dry at 6.5, and wets through his nappy every night. He's just not hormonal ready. We've not made a big deal about it. I do wonder how many others in his Year are the same, but nobody ever talks about it so you assume your child is the only one. It's a relief to see from this thread that that's not the case!

I think based on my experience with DS2 that some kids may just never be dry if left in pull-ups, so if I was you I’d give it a go without and see how you go. We always do an extra toilet visit after the bedtime story just in case.

Two of mine weren't dry overnight until 6ish. One was very unbothered and wore pull ups; the other was very bothered and we just dealt with it with bed pads and multiple sheets etc.

4 is fine, you don't need to worry, just try again periodically.

My youngest was wet until she was 6. It may have been coincidence but we changed her bed and it had a slightly thinner mattress and suddenly she was able to wake herself up and go to the loo during the night. We assumed it was that the new bed meant she didn’t sleep so deeply.

It’s completely normal.

she needs to be producing a hormone that wakes her up when she needs a wee.

you can’t train this and you shouldn’t be restricting her water.

it will come.

my first was toilet trained during the day by 2.5 yes old but not reliably dry at night until 5.5.

im a beaver leader at a sleepover and camps there are usually at least a few 6 yr olds who still need to sleep in pull ups.

GP wont be worried until age 7/8.

My kids have been dry at night at vastly different ages.

DS1 - 6 years
DD - 14 years
DS2 - 4 years
DS3 - just about to turn 5 years and still fills a pill up most nights.

They're all different :)

Don’t restrict fluids. It sounds counter productive but as well as the hormone to slow the production of urine at night they also need to develop the biofeedback response so they wake when their bladder is full.

so if you restrict fluids they won’t get a full bladder at night and their body won’t “learn” to wake for the toilet.

the other often-given advice that is incorrect is to “lift”- carry the child to the toilet before you go to bed in the hope they’ll sleep through. Again this teaches them to wee in their sleep, and they don’t learn to wake to use the toilet.

you can’t “train” it, it’s a biological process.

carry on as you’re doing. I did nothing and mine just woke one day about 7 completely dry. Go easy on yourself and let it happen.

if it helps one in 5 children aren’t dry at night at age 7. So in a primary class of 30 there’ll be 6 kids still wetting at night. It’s very common.

https://eric.org.uk/childrens-bladders/bedwetting/
This is useful.

Have you tried a bed wetting alarm. Worked wonders for my two

Dry at 4 is a big expectation. Our kids, healthy and bright, were in pull ups at night until 5 and 6.