Potty Training My 3.5-Year-Old – Feeling Stuck, Need Advice!

[Weeshallovercome]

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Hi everyone,

I’m really struggling with potty training my 3.5 years oldson, and I’m starting to worry. We’ve been trying on and off for a year with little progress. The 3-day method was a messy disaster, and life has had its challenges—his dad and I separated, we moved 60 miles away, and he started a new nursery. He also has speech and language delays, which I think might be making things harder. On top of that, he’s had norovirus a couple of times, which has definitely set us back.

Right now, he’s in pull-ups, but I’m switching to Huggies pull-ups so he can feel when he’s wet. He’s interested in the big toilet, and I’ve got all the gear—toddler seat, steps, potty, and a reward chart. At home, I let him go nappy-free, but he’ll just wee on the floor when I’m not looking. He absolutely refuses to sit on the toilet when he needs a poo, he'll even grab a nappy to put on for a poo..

I’ve spoken to the health visitor, but the advice was the usual generic stuff. I really want him to be fully trained by his 4th birthday (end of September), but is that too ambitious? Has anyone been in a similar situation, especially with speech delays? Any tips that actually worked for you?

I tried when he was 2, but it was chaos—let’s just say my carpets and even a hoover didn’t survive the experience! Now we have wooden floors and just one toilet upstairs, so I’m hoping for a fresh start.

Would love to hear any advice or encouragement—I’m feeling a bit lost with it all! 🥺🚽

Thank you! ❤️

We used the Potty training in 3 days book, it’s American and potty means toilet but it’s brilliant. Straight to the toilet so no emptying potty’s and we had it cracked in 2 days.

I wouldn’t worry about the speech delay so long as he can follow instructions, communicate other needs to you (can he tell you that he’s thirsty and ask for a drink for example) and say or even sign ‘toilet’ or ‘wee wee’ or something to indicate he needs to go when you’re out. 18MOs can and do potty train, not that it’s a competition, but shows it’s not necessary to have a lot of language.

We did the Gina Ford method which I think is quite similar to the 3 day method mentioned by PP. I probably wouldn’t do Oh Crap because the author is quite clear her method is for much younger but otherwise I don’t think it matters so long as you can stick with it consistently for a week.

Right now you’re being really inconsistent and sending mixed messages. Pull ups are just nappies with fancy marketing, even the feel the wet ones. For potty training to he successful you need to completely get rid (ex bedtime), put him pants and stick to your chosen method. Don’t do this until you have a clear week where you can stay home and concentrate on nothing else. If he’s waiting until you’re not looking to wee on the floor and getting a pull up to poo he obviously has full control over his bodily functions so I would hope for you that once he realises it isn’t optional he’ll train very quickly.