Is it normal for 3y old to have many accidents in short space of time?

[notamorningpanda]

Just that really. Day two of potty training with 3yo DD. She will do a small wee on the potty then have an accident 10 minutes later, then another 15 minutes later. This has been happening several times both yesterday and today. We tried potty training a few months back and she was the same then. Just never heard of this happening to anyone else potty training so wondered if it's normal. She's probably not emptying her bladder properly on the potty but don't know how to get her to do it. She already sits on it for ages each time. Any advice would be much appreciated!

It is day 2
Give it 15 days

Some have to be forced out of nappies, it will get easier. My youngest took 2 and a half weeks.

I’m literally potty training my DD (2.5 years old) right now. It was the same with her on day 2. She would hold in her wee for hours, do a tiny release on the potty, and then have a big accident 10 minutes later.

We are on day 20 (!) and she’s finally got it. 100% is going in the potty now. She’s still in nappies for nightime sleep, so she seems to be waiting for her nappy to do a poo. I’ll take away the night nappies in the summer when she turns 3, and then she’ll have no choice but to poo on the potty.

I love being a mum, but potty training is my least favourite aspect of parenting so far (I have an older DS who was a nightmare to potty train). I wish I could ship them off to potty training school!

Thanks both for replying. I'm not expecting her to not have accidents, I just wondered if it's normal to have so many in the space of a short time. Obviously we will give her more time.

Sadly yes, very normal I think! We've just about cracked wees with 3.5yo DS (on the third time of trying...), and we started after Christmas - it's been a long, painful 6/7 weeks.

I found it so easy to get sucked into all the things you hear about if they're ready they'll crack it in a few days, etc., but I think it's more common than is spoken about for it to be a real slog. I totally agree with a pp, my least favourite bit of parenting so far. Sometimes you just have to decide that you know they are ready and push through, and know that eventually you won't spend all your waking hours thinking about wees...

Thanks @bathroomadviceneeded and @biscuitcat ! Really reassuring to hear that it's normal. Sorry you both had such a tricky time with it! Definitely agree that it's the hardest thing I faced so far with parenting! Feels like all my friends' toddlers potty trained quickly and at younger ages than my DD. We'll keep going and hopefully she'll get there this time! I think we perhaps gave up too quick last time.

Don't feel bad OP. My DS was enrolled in preschool at 2.5 years old, but he had to be potty trained. No matter what I did or tried, I just couldn't get him potty trained in time. I even took a week off work to try and make it happen. I had to sheepishly ring the preschool and explain that he wasn't ready. They were really understanding, and pushed the place forward for when he was 3 years old.

I had to pay for 7 more months of nursery and felt like a terrible mother. However, at around 3 years old, one day it just 'clicked' and he started using the toilet. Now he's nearly 7 and I don't even think about the toilet with him anymore.

You'll get there!

@biscuitcat 'Spending all my waking hours thinking about wees' 😂This is literally me right now.

Thanks so much @bathroomadviceneeded 😊

Your DD sounds just like mine. She holds it for ages, does a tiny wee in the potty, then has a big accident 10 minutes later! What did you do when you had to leave the house? The advice I was given is to wait until they've done a wee on the potty and then head out for a short trip immediately afterwards. We did this last time we attempted potty training but of course she had an accident 10 minutes after leaving the house, followed by 3 more in the space on one hour! Including one where she weed on the floor in the loos in the cafe as I was changing her! We ran out of clean clothes and she was crying for nappies by this point.

We tried to leave the house on Day 4, and she had a mega accident in a shop and I had to help the shop assistant clean it up.

You're not going to like hearing this but... After that, I canceled all my plans for the next 3 weeks (I'm about to finish mat leave so I'm at home) and I haven't left the house for 3 weeks. I managed a few short walks, and the afternoon school run which is about 15 mins, with no accidents. Otherwise, we've been at home. Yes, it's been boring as hell and I'm slowly losing my mind. 😂

I also notice you said that your DC was spending a long time on the potty with no wee coming. My DD did the same, and what I found helped was actually not letting her sit on the potty for too long. We stopped reading books and singing songs while she sat there. If nothing came out, or only a tiny bit, I'd get her to stand up and we'd do something else (keeping the potty close by!). I'd find that about 10 mins later, she'd go to the potty again and then fully release.

I should also note: I'm being super militant about the potty training because DD has a place at preschool starting in 2 weeks that she needs to be potty trained for. I'm going back to work so I really need her to be ready! Otherwise, I'd just wait for the summer when she's 3 and be way more chill about it.

I think it's normal because when you are wearing a nappy you can just let the wee out whenever you feel like it and not even notice, so part of the training is learning to save up and consolidate all the little wees into one big one. We did the oh crap method (take their clothes off, get them to drink extra fluids, watch them like a hawk, try and put them on the potty as soon as they are just about to wee) and about an hour after his first big drink on day 1, DS did about 12 small wees in the space of about half an hour, most of which didn't get into the potty. But by day 2 we were already getting fewer, bigger wees, which were much easier to predict. I guess if you are doing a less intensive method it might take longer for the child to stop just letting it out, as they're not really noticing when they need to go?

@bathroomadviceneeded it's awful isn't it! I kept thinking, I am an intelligent person with a proper job and other interests and literally all I can talk and think about is the bloody potty 😂

@notamorningpanda we've had some trips like that - we did soft play once as I was meeting friends and going totally stir crazy and had, if I recall correctly, 2 wees and a poo within 90 minutes. At one stage I actually did cave and put him back in a nappy (my husband was away and I was solo parenting 2 plus heavily pregnant with the third, so at the end of my tether!), but bless him by then he was quite confused by why that happened and the next day absolutely wanted pants again.

We've also had school as a motivator - he's an August baby so is starting in September at just 4, and I refused to send him in nappies!

I’m on day 7! It’s bloody hard work. But I have noticed that they’re holding it for a bit longer and not going tiny bits here and there. Stick at it for a few more days and see if there’s an improvement 🤞🤞if not, then maybe put it off a bit longer

Thanks everyone for your replies. Really helpful to read!

So today (day 3) was interesting! She completely flipped to the other extreme and now I worry about her holding her wee in. She only had two accidents all day but only did one small wee in the potty. She did a wee within minutes of putting a nappy on her for naptime and bedtime. She was clearly waiting for it! She either can't or won't do a wee on the potty at the minute. She quite happily did a poo though! So strange. I've tried everything I can think of to help her relax but nothing's working so far.

Have you tried leaving her on the potty for a while, I think sometimes they don't empty their bladder fully as it doesn't matter in a nappy. We used to leave DS on for a couple of songs once he was done until he got the hang of emptying his bladder properly.

My little one is doing the exact same thing at nursery!! doesn’t do it as much at home at all, but all day at nursery this has been happening. We are on day 5! i am sat contemplating do i give up he might not be ready and do i carry on!!

@AmberM223 it's so stressful isn't it? How old is your little one? I'd carry on a bit longer if you're only on day 5.

We are also on day 5 today and my DD has done a lot better today and only had one accident, but we've stayed home so far and I fully expect her to regress when she goes to nursery next week.

I’ll take away the night nappies in the summer when she turns 3, and then she’ll have no choice

That's brave. I hope you've got a reliable washing machine 😆

@notamorningpanda oh that’s really good! My mum has my LO today and they are staying home so hoping he does better. He’s 2 years 5 months, a fantastic communicator so i do think he’s ready deep down! i’ll keep going 💪

Hi @AmberM223 how is your LO getting on? Did you keep going with the potty? My DD had 4 accidents on her first day back at nursery but only 1 the second day and has only 1 accident now most days. She very rarely tells us she needs to go though, we have to prompt her still.

@notamorningpanda hello! Oh he did so well, he had 2 accidents on his next day back in nursery last friday and hasn’t had one since! Super proud of him, he does tell us though when he needs one. I am not holding too much hope this will last permanently however as i am pregnant and i think when little one is here i’m scars he might reverse (well nursery have told me this is very common) so we shall see!
But i did do a sticker chart a few days at the start of the week to help him understand and it seemed to help and i have stopped that now!

Your LO sounds like she is doing well! my best friend is a nursery worker and said it usually takes around 3-4 weeks for them to get the hang fully.

@AmberM223 that's amazing! Sounds like he's doing so well! Hopefully it will be just a very short regression if he has one at all!

Yes hopefully another week or two and my DD will get the hang of it fully too!