5 year old wetting self in school

[Quicksilver15]

Our 5 year old still wets themselves every day in school once or twice a day. This has been an issue since starting full days at pre school since age 3 (although only 9-4pm 3 days a week so hardly full time) been apparently trained since 2 and we used cloth nappies when a baby/toddler, both parents have always been home lots and gave lots of attention, not alot of TV/screens even now.

Why is it that they are still unable to remember to drink or toilet at age 5 still? They aren’t perfect but I don’t believe there’s anything you’d class as proper SEN going on. We’ve tried retraining at various points over the years but nothing has stuck.

Not the only one with this issue in class either so what has changed about society that now seems to be causing this problem? I’ve never heard any grandparents talking about these protracted toileting issues in the past or has everyone been too embarrassed to discuss it openly for decades?

Have you tried a watch that will have a vibrating alarm? My sister is a primary teacher and she says several children in her class have the same problem, and this is helping. The parents set alarms in the mornings and the children know to go to the toilet when it vibrates, even if they don't feel they need it. Vibratime Junior child's digital vibrating watch with 16 alarms - black | Connevans

Yes we’ve got a watch! Never worked just ignores it, just like I suspect the urge to wee haha.

I'm so relieved to come across this post. I have 3 DCs - older 2 no issues, youngest is in reception and still having frequent accidents. She was potty trained at 2.5, no obvious SEN but has just never been reliable. We've been to our gp, had a private consultation but no obvious answers. I've completely hit a brick wall and could cry with frustration. So sorry, no answers but it does help to know you're not the only one struggling

My eldest did this. Totally dry for over a year then started wetting during reception.

He has adhd and I think he was very hyper focussed on things whilst at school. He would get totally absorbed in an activity.

It fitted itself out after a while. Months I think.

He’s not the only one in the class like this so I guess a small minority do have this problem. As I understand paediatricians will look into it more once they turn 7/8 if still happening (I assume because most grow out of it just with time) and before that age it’s probably not as big a social issue so I guess we just have to help them practice good toileting routine and skills as best we can but not necessarily expect any immediate resolution…

We’re on an NHS waiting list for the continence team but it’s a 2 year wait!!

They get too absorbed in what they're doing and leave it until the absolute last second. As they get older, their peers will do the job for you. They get laughed at and don't forget again.

My DD was the same, she's finally dry now in year one. What helped was being allowed to go to the toilet without asking, because she doesn't seem to notice the need to go until it's almost too late, so waiting for the teacher to notice her meant it was already too late. They've changed the rule slightly in year one, she now has to put her hand up and announce she's going to the toilet, but without waiting for the teacher to notice her, so they are trying to gradually move her towards the actual rules. We are currently in the process of an ADHD referral and we now realise this is a sensory issue related to that. When we notice her jiggling and ask if she needs a wee, she always says "I feel nothing", before rushing off for an emergency wee seconds later, she also doesn't seem to notice thirst until it's extreme.

Yes so our child doesn’t drink either or care much for eating 😂. I’m still not convinced it’s proper SEN, everyone is on some kind of spectrum although there is adhd in grandparents I don’t think he exhibits it to the extreme although maybe too early to tell, not naughty enough yet though!!

I have the exact same problem with 5 year old DD. The vibrating watch hasn't helped. Teacher has just started allowing her to go to the toilet without asking and it's helping. little bit but still at a loss for why this is happening

My DD was the same, though 10 years ago now. Apparently most instances of wetting are due to constipation. The trapped poo presses against the bladder or something.

Look up a book called It's No Accident. My DD drank juice with Movicol every morning and it sorted it! (Had tried watch etc).

Might they be too shy to ask to go? Maybe teacher is a bit scary in their eyes. Feel very sorry for them as they must know they aren't meant to be doing it and must make them upset.

My 6 year old had this problem. He would
hold on and put off going if he was doing something more interesting, until too late.
Especially if watching tv or playing a screen.

we were advised to get him to drink more to stretch his bladder. I’ve marked on his water bottle where he needs to drink to by lunch, by end of school day etc. He has to go toilet before he can use a screen and it’s on a time control. It has helped.

Now to sort bed wetting!!

I'm also waiting for continence support but need to attend an online call before they will even speak to me…. They’re every 2 months and during the day.. not flexible (ie. No opportunity to watch after the event). Hard to attend if you’re working. Waiting for the one this month and will just have to attend.

Our child also has 3 sachets of movicol every afternoon last 3 months to reduce constipation. Has been on 1-2 sachets for a couple of years but actually I don’t think that was ever a high enough regular dose. In the last couple of months weve started giving a bottle of squash at school because never drink more than a mouthful of water each day (would forget). Im hoping that this actually improves things now, we’ve barely had poo accidents or even marks for a month so maybe if continues the trend of drinking well each day child’s bladder might stretch, in the mean time there’s alot of wees & accidents though but at least these aren’t messy now!!