Withholding BEFORE starting potty training

[leavesandsleeves]

Hi. My twins are coming up to 2.5 and I’m starting to think about potty training. We did the oh crap method with my singleton. Problem is my girl twin has been withholding poos for a number of months and I’m afraid to start PT as think it could make it worse and be a disaster. But would start my boy twin soon otherwise, and imagined we’d do both together.

Any suggestions? We haven’t touched potty training at all so the withholding is nothing to do with that. Her poos are generally soft and diet pretty good, but suspect she passed a sore one at some point that caused her to try to hold it in. She holds until only a small bit slips out, which lead to lots of nappy changes and a sore bum. She’s on a stool softener for a number of months which we’ve tapered up and down but made no real progress. We’re doing Vaseline over cream every change as a barrier which has helped prevent sore bum.

Hope it’s ok that I’ve posted a similar thread on the multiples group as well.

Hmmm. If she’s letting the poo out in little bits I would probably put her on the potty after the first bit and then teach her relaxing techniques. If you can get her to relax (blowing bubbles is a good one, or even a screen) you might find that it comes.

I actually potty trained my eldest with the use of his favourite cartoon, completely unintentionally. We had got to the point where he filled his nappy when the theme tune came on so I just stuck him on a potty instead. He doesn’t use a screen now, but it was a lifesaver for the transition to loo.

I've got two children who withhold so I feel your pain.
My DD is now 5 and was almost 3 by the time she fully potty trained. She's on a stool softener and until recently, a stimulant. The withholding definitely impacted how quick she picked up potty training but then all of a sudden just got it.

I'm currently on potty training my DS who is almost 3. He's also a withholder. We've had a weekend of no nappy and wees have been fine. He's similar to your DD in little bits of poo coming out. When it happened yesterday I put him on the potty with the TV on and he emptied his bowels relatively easy. Today has been another story. Again, leaking bits of poo which have gone on the floor but then has managed not to have a proper poo at all today.
I think tomorrow I will just go back to putting him on the potty and encouraging poos and be prepared for poo everywhere 🙈
He's back to nursery on Tuesday so not sure what to do with it all then though!!

Could you potty train your DS if he seems ready and your DD might see it and show some interest?

The withholding has been a huge impact on our lives for nearly 4 years with the children.

Good luck!!

Hi all. I realise this is an old thread, but would appreciate any update on your situations as I’m facing something similar currently. Did you attempt potty training and how did it go?Thank you!

Hi. We did do both at once (following oh crap) and to my total surprise that was the end of the withholding. In hindsight I think maybe it wasn’t that she just didn’t want to go - but that she didn’t want to go in her nappy. And it was very bad before - she would straighten out like a board trying to hold it in and end up going down in almost a plank position. So glad we decided to go for it at the time

Well done, that sounds like a great success! Thanks for your reply.