DD (21m) stool withholding - saves it for bedtime nappy

[Hrf1503]

We’re on day 4 of potty training following the Oh Crap method (we’ve been casually using the potty for a couple months this so she’s used it to). She’s learnt with wees really quickly (while awake) but having real difficulty with poo. She’s always pooed standing up and now will not go on potty after going once on day 2 - she sits on it but won’t follow through. She’s now withholding all day when she clearly needs to go (she goes to the potty every few minutes but won’t follow through and is a total nightmare with her behaviour). She’s then going in her nappy when we put her in the cot after a horrendously stressful bedtime because she’s so uncomfortable.

We’ve tried poo goes to poo land but the problem is she’s 21 months so a little young to properly understand it. And I’ve tried offering rewards with chocolate but it doesn’t help. I think she’s probably a bit young for stickers etc?

Does anyone have any other tips or do we just persevere until she gets it?

Separate issue, but Oh Crap recommends no nappies during nap time but DD consistently wees herself during naptime. Do they eventually learn or did others do nappy for nap time?

Thanks if you’ve got this far! I know it’s only day 4 but we’re at our wits end due to her behaviour when she needs a poo.

She's only 21 months. She'll get there but maybe not ready yet?
Sounds like she likes the comfort of wearing a nappy. Is it a security issue?
I had nappies on mine for ages when napping or sleeping quite a while after toilet training as accidents happened while sleeping.
If it's any consolation this phase will pass.

I always used a nappy for nap time until they started to be dry consistently and then didn't bother. I did oh crap method too. Ds also took 8-10 weeks pooing in his nap or bedtime nappy (did a quick change and mainly slept through it) before he cracked doing it in the potty. Poo goes the pooland app worked for us after a couple of weeks.

I would persevere as long as she is consistently going for a poo even if that is in a nappy at this point. I'd stop of she start withholding to the point she is become distressed or risks becoming constipated.

Thanks both. @123456abcdef that reassuring to know that your son also persisted in nappies for a while, we’ll keep at it and hope she eventually learns.

@ZiggyZowie I don’t think it’s a comfort thing as she went in clothes without a nappy I think it’s a positioning thing (doesn’t like doing it sitting down prefers to stand).

Wish us luck!

we had this but our daughter was a bit older and the answer was just time and confidence really. she's only 21 months so that's deff on the young side for potty training and the ability to explain or communicate her feelings is more limited. where she is for day 4 is amazing esp at that age. just keep perserving.

Also whilst a lot of my friends like oh crap i really didn't like how forceful it was in basically saying "you have to do it this way or your child will never ever be potty trained". It says you should never wait beyond two and a half...well we tried at two and a half and she wasn't ready (something oh crap doesn't believe in) but we decided to wait and try again a few months later and it was so so different. she got it and whilst it wasn't easy it was a lot easier. That book is a decent guide but it is not a gospel.

As for naps - waking or holding whilst sleeping is a hormonal thing. it is very unusual to be able to "train" being dry at night esp at that age. so i would definately use a nappy. We are two months in and we don't for naps anymore but do for nights but most of the time nights are dry anyway it just is more secure incase.

Also a friend of mine reccomended getting them to blow bubbles whilst on the toilet as it keeps them on the loo longer to do their poo and also helps relax the muscles when they blow.

Hope that helps

Kindly it sounds like she isn't quite ready to be nappy free all day yet. Sounds like she has worked out how to poo/not poo in a controlled way, but can't poo sitting. Knowing she shouldn't poo her pants, but not knowing how to poo in the potty, she holds it till she has a nappy on. Put her pull ups or nappies until she can poo on the potty - poor thing.

We're on day 12 of the oh crap potty training, and initially my 22 month needed to be cuddled when sat on the potty for poos, and then handheld. This might work? It's a suggestion in the block dilemmas bit I think, or the poo chapter...I forget. She's also got a podcast but it's hard to find troubleshooting stuff on there sometimes.

It's been going really well for us since the first week. I hope you manage get over this little hump sooner than later.

As you know from the book 21 months is definitely not too young. It's a shame to see comments like this. We're feeling really confident we're tackling this now than later.

Thanks for all the tips, still not there yet the poos but we will keep trying for now. She’s back to nursery tomorrow so I’m hoping they might have some luck. We’ve tried cuddling on toilet, tried bubble blowing this afternoon and I show her poo goes to poo land every time which she does like and means she’ll sit on the loo a bit longer but no luck yet since day 2. I’ve offered nappies to poo (an Emily Oster tip) but she doesn’t want them.

On the positive side, she seems to be there with wees (no accidents since day 2, and been dry for the last two naps). Hopefully poo will come soon, from everything I’ve read it seems this can be a common issue with any age so hopefully it will pass. Given where she is on wees I’m reluctant to fully return to nappies (and don’t think she’d want to). We’ll just keep gently encouraging poos on the potty and trying the tips here.