I think I just need some solidarity. I had no idea potty training would be this hard. Full details below but TLDR is that she’s 3.5 and we’ve tried EVERYTHING for months and months with zero success and I’m just feeling really deflated.
We had a potty out and read books, talked about it etc for ages then when she turned 3 it was summer and we decided to give the commando method a go over a long weekend. It was a disaster. Just 100% accidents, not a single wee in the potty for 11 whole days until I decided she clearly wasn’t ready and moved to pull ups and just sitting her on it twice a day with no pressure. We went 5 months with not a single wee on there.
Since then I give her nappy off time at home and sit her on it every hour or two depending how much she’s drunk. I can tell when she needs one and she will happily sit and read a book/play with a fidget toy or sing a song but just not do anything. Then 5 mins later wee herself all over the floor. To begin with there was no acknowledgement of a wee, for a while she would say “I’ve done a poo”, now she seems to know it’s a wee. I’ve tried commando, pants, training pants, pull ups. We’ve got 3 different potties and a ladder for the loo. I ask her where wee wee goes, she says “in the potty”. We have a sticker chart that she’s motivated for. I’ve even offered chocolate. She has fidget toys on the potty, we’ve tried blowing bubbles and general deep breaths. I’ve even put her feet in warm water!
We didn’t start earlier because I was pregnant with very bad PGP and, in all honesty, I don’t think she would have understood. There’s no diagnosed delay but I notice anecdotally her language and understanding aren’t quite where friends’ children of her age are. Probably just at the lower end of the “normal” range.
I’m maybe just projecting but I feel so judged out in public when she’s this age and in a nappy and see kids a year younger trained! I’m at a loss of what to do next, I feel like such a failure. She will start school in September and I know it’s a long time but I’m so worried she won’t be trained by then.
She has been looked after by family previously and now I’ve been on mat leave for a year so she starts nursery 2 days a week for the first time in a couple of weeks. I guess I’m hoping she will see other kids going at regular intervals and that might motivate her to go. She is absolutely not motivated by “big girl” type chat and in fact is quite happy to be a baby. Still would happily sit in the pram or be carried vs walking, for instance. (Baby brother is 11 months so if it’s a new sibling regression it must be the world’s longest one!)
if you’ve got this far, bless your heart.