2.5 weeks in- I want to go out now!

[Mudonstairs]

Have been potty training my 2 year and 5 month old for 2.5 weeks now. I am wondering when we are going to be able to leave the house and have a normal day again! He has been out once to toddler group and did wee himself. He does say he needs to pee and sometimes poo poo but he usually doesn’t tell me in time to catch it all in the potty. Poo we usually notice he needs one as he starts looking for a hiding place but he doesn’t like being told or put on the potty forcibly, we have to coax him to use it pretty much every time! I have been following Oh crap method which explains that at his age he is perfectly ready and able to learn this, it may be just that he is stubborn and has a nappy preference.

I want to actually take him out and go to a park today but don’t know what to do. I don’t want to stick him back in pull ups as he hasn’t been wearing them during the day at all since we started but if he goes without nappy I know he will definitely wet himself and don’t want that to knock his confidence. He doesn’t like it when he has an accident but he also isn’t good at getting to the potty! I have a travel potty we have never used. I doubt he would be keen on using it outside when it’s already a bit of a battle at home! Do I just stick a pull up on him so we can have a bit of a nice day for a change? Or do I just take lots of spare clothes? What do we do going forward? Can’t stick a nappy on whenever we leave the house surely??

I don’t want to keep stop and start with the potty training either tbh. Just want it to be done and over with but he isn’t picking it up as quickly as I’d hoped!

We did the oh crap method when my daughter turned two, and three months later she's nailed it and is dry and reliably telling us when she needs to use the toilet. We had many many accidents in that 3 months, and washed a lot of soiled clothes, car seat covers, pushchair covers.

It's going to take some time for your little one to get it, but keep persevering like the book says. We didn't put a nappy or pull up on her to go out, we just limited outdoor activities to the local park or shopping centre, where we know there are lots of toilets.

Just saying we waited a bit longer with my both my DS and DD’s, just under 3. They both were dry within a day overnight and no accidents. We just waited till they could verbalise that they needed the toilet consistently and then asked if they wanted to wear knickers / pants. Worked a treat

I think you can’t go back to pull ups. I potty trained my second DD at similar age and we had to go out multiple times a day from
the start to do school run for my eldest. She had so so many accidents and we just took about 6 pairs of leggings wherever we went! Asked her a lot, took a potty and occasionally had to deal with a bit of a puddle! Winter is hard as we managed to mainly play outside and walk to school During summer. Wishing you the best - I would persevere!

Thanks all. Husband is saying we can’t put lives on hold for months and limit his playing. I do agree that it’s a bit sad limiting his outdoor play for less than an hour and knowing that he will wet himself isn’t great. There is no way he would be able to tell us and then give us time to get into the paid public loos 😂 he barely makes it to the potty a few metres away! I want to persevere but I am grieving our old life of meeting friends in the park and going for a coffee etc. Now’s it’s going to be a military operation just to go to the park for an hour😔 I really miss nappies!!

Personally I would have just put a pull up on mine and had a nice day. Especially if we were going somewhere indoors where they might wee on someone else's carpet. But I trained my first two at 2y9m/3y when I thought they were ready and didn't use a particular method.

I know you don't want to stop and start but maybe he's not quite ready if you are still in this position 2.5 weeks in. When I have potty trained children with older siblings (so they have to leave the house regularly from day one for school runs etc) I put them on the potty immediately before leaving the house, take the potty with you and encourage them to use it again when you get there and just take plenty of spare stuff to deal with accidents. Line the car seat or buggy with a plastic bag and a towel. If there's an accident, change him and carry on. Don't make a big deal out of it.

I don’t know if I should just forget about the potty training for a while then. I am a bit of an all or nothing person so I think I am struggling with the idea of sometimes using nappies. I think he’s definitely intelligent enough and understands he needs to use the potty. I think he is just set against it in his head. He keeps saying he doesn’t like the potty or the toilet but tbh he also used to resist every nappy change too so I can’t listen to everything he says can I?

I know I could line his buggy and car seat and offer potty stops at the park but I know he wouldn’t willingly use the potty at the park and I don’t want a battle in public. Tbh I’m so sick of fighting him to get him on the potty but I’m also sad to give up as we have worked so hard to get where we are now. We do get almost every poo in the potty and he does ask to use it, just on his terms!

I’ve genuinely lost the will to live right now. I’m putting a bloody pull up on him and leaving the house!

I’d stop the potty training for now and wait for a sign that he’s ready (such as wanting to use a potty, telling you he needs the toilet).

You need to do what all intelligent but stubborn toddlers need - bribery.
If you think he can do it but doesn’t want to, offer a treat every time he uses the potty. Worked a treat with both my kids. (We used Haribo sweets - he could choose 1 each time).
Then I went out with fold up potty and insert bags, spare clothes, and carried on with life. Don’t go back to pull-ups.
good luck! 😊

I would have given up by now. I tried my little one at 18mo, she did great for a couple of weeks then took against the potty so I reluctantly gave up. She could do it physically but wasn't emotionally ready. Revisited at 21mo and she had it cracked within a day or two. Very few accidents since and it's been a couple of months. The first time we used stickers as rewards, 2nd time I used chocolate buttons as 'special treat' (she's not otherwise allowed chocolate). Start off rewarding every little success then slowly fade it out. You have to find a way to make them want to do it, but it's also possible your little one just isn't 'ready' in some way.

But also they do understand different rules for different places, so you could use pull ups out and about when necessary (take the potty with you) but take it off immediately when you get home.