Accidents at nursery but not at home - pull ups?

[Firsttimetrier]

Hi,

We started potty training our toddler in October and he absolutely smashed it. Hardly any accidents for wees or poos at home or nursery.

However, the last 3 weeks, he’s having multiple accidents at nursery every day, including pooing himself.

I’m at my wits end as this never happens at home, he always tells us his tummy hurts, which means he needs a poo, or he needs a wee and will be taken to the toilet. He also stayed with grandparents for a weekend and they had no accidents with him there as well.

The accidents have started out of nowhere, but the only thing we can think of is that he has told us that someone shouted at him at nursery when we’ve asked why he doesn’t use the toilet and that he’s scared. Raised this with nursery and they said that wouldn’t have happened and against their policy to shout. So don’t know if we take this with a pinch of salt.

I am due to give birth in the next few weeks, so this may have an impact but we aren’t seeing the same issues at home.

Should we revert back to nappies for nursery for a short period and revisit in the new year? But continue with pants at home?

Any help welcome!

Kids get distracted at nursery as there is so much to do. The staff should have particular times they take toilet training kids to the toilet. It’s normal to have the odd bit of regression, if he is doing well at home don’t put him back in nappies. Just ask the staff to remind him.

I forgot to add nappies on and off can make toilet training a bit confusing for kids.
Is nursery complaining about the accidents?

I get the odd accident, but every single day for 3 weeks is concerning. It seems like he’s not being reminded, even though we’ve explained his cues of needing to go etc. He also gets frustrated if you ask him too many times if he needs to go.

he wears a nappy for bed, although he’s dry overnight and will wake us up if he needs to wee, so nappies on and off doesn’t seem confusing to him, I don’t think?

You could give it a go with nappies. But I really think the staff need to step up a bit.

I started my 2 year old son in October too and have this same concern as he's starting nursery hopefully in January. From what I have learnt with my daughter who is nearly 5, regressions happen all the time but are temporary. In the past regressions usually it's a big change that triggers it.

She just went through a phase of pooping pants again despite being potty trained for 2 years! We really had to monitor her closely and repeatedly kept asking her if she needed to go, control TV time so she wouldn't get lazy, take toys away, rewards when needed etc etc. It's worked and she's been alright for a good run now.

Whilst I appreciate its hard to monitor what is going on at nursery, you can create an incentive such as getting a good report from the care provider at pick up in front of your son. Taking a little treat or rewarding him at home for the report. Speak to the nursery if any special toy or book can be sent in etc.for when it's time to use the potty.

Potty training is a long journey for most parents. Two steps forward one step back at times!

How old is he?

Have you told them that he says his tummy hurts rather than saying he needs the toilet when he wants to go? They may not have connected the dots....

Yes, multiple times.

He had no accidents there for 5 weeks, aside from the occasional wee accident when he didn’t make it on time, but the last 3 weeks it’s constant poo accidents.

@HS1990 I am 35 weeks pregnant, so guessing this may be why there’s a regression, but just seems mental it’s every day with a poo, but never at home, or even staying with grandparents without us there.

Tried putting a nappy back on this morning and it caused WW3, so don’t think that’s going to work.

I’m more concerned he’s told us he was shouted at and it was “his fault” for having an accident at nursery, so I’m assuming this is having an issue.

At a loss at what to do really. Husband is going to call the manager later and try and get a plan in place as it’s hard to discuss properly at drop off/pick up as it’s crazy busy.

It does take some kids longer to get to grips with pooing when potty training, even when reliable at home. Nursery is a different, busy, stimulating environment and often they get a bit too engrossed in what they're doing to want to leave it to go to the toilet/potty.

Potty trained our 26 month old at the end of October and he got it very quickly for wees, but it only clicked last week for poos and he went every day in the potty. No wee accidents at nursery after the first week or so, but he seems to withold poo while he's there and will soil himself every 3 or 4 days. They don't make a fuss over it, they just tell me it's normal to do well at home but for it to take a while to click at nursery and he will get there eventually!

So I think the staff need to be more supportive and work with you, personally!