Will not put bum on seat

[Isthisthingononetwo]

Hello hello
looking for advice from anyone who’s kid has the same hurdle as mine. She has bladder control nailed. She just will not put her bum on a potty (various exciting options been made available) or toilet seat. We’ve tried them all over a period of a year now whilst also trying not to make a big deal and spook her. It feels like tough love time and I’m pretty certain once she does it once and we all praise her like she’s won an election, she will be grand.

How to I get that peachy little bottom to come in contact with porcelain without creating war and making things worse?

Yours with mop in hand ready for this
Stuck mama

PS forgot to say that she’s 3 and a bit and generally loves trying grown up things

Will she start by sitting on a potty/the loo but with a nappy on? Just to get her used to it? What about if you take the 'doing a wee' aspect out of it and just let her sit on it to look at books etc?

Or could it be that it feels cold? You could try warming it somehow but I feel like you might be making work for yourself there!

We have a similar problem with our just three year old. We have her bare bottom for last four days and are not going back to daytime nappies (roughly trying to follow the Oh crap book method). She can mostly hold up to a point and appears to know she has to go, but gets freaked out about sitting on potty to have a wee. We have tried so mild consequences " if you were on the floor, and not the potty, the toy will be put away" and also just to "break the potty barrier " I've said if she wees in the potty she gets a small bit of chocolate. This has lead to several partial wees today which feels like progress.

Good luck with yours and please update with how things are going.

What has she said when you’ve asked her, OP? Is she scared of the toilet, or scared that there’s now a hole beneath her instead of a nappy there? My son was fine with wees but wouldn’t sit on his potty/toilet for poos. I don’t think he liked the feeling of his poop falling when he was used to something being ‘right there’. I placed the nappy on the potty so it was touching his bum and he got the hang of it quite quickly. Have you tried things like the whizzer, a cup she can pee into and then she can pour it down the toilet just to get more familiar?

If all else fails and it’s nothing to do with fear, incentives worked a treat with my first. We got a big tub of squishys and she loved getting one after the toilet.

Good luck, it’s tough and can feel never ending x

I’ve tried it. I’ve tried dancing round bashing the potty off my own bottom singing a happy dance song. Teddy can go on the potty. Baby can go in the potty. Just not my kid! I think I’m going to try taking her nappy off her and having the potty there and not giving in. She gets so distressed though but I guess I just might have to support her through that. I’m afraid it spooks her even more though…

Before we started this big push this weekend, we hid the potty for a month and didn't mention it and didn't show her the loo seat until the first day. Cleared diaries and events, put heating up a bit and have just played. Told her normal day nappies have been thrown away. Surprisingly she has been quite happy being bare bottom. She only gets a bit panicky and wanting a nappy on, when a poo is just about to arrive (she has only had two since we took her nappies). The first one freaked her out (not surprisingly after 3 years in a nappy), but the second one was a bit better, but still ended on the floor. She was quite interested in it, so I think she is getting less freaked and we kept things really casual.

Thank you.

Incentives haven’t worked yet. I might need to work on finding something really really high value. No clue what that is if it isn’t chocolate and that hasn’t worked.

If we talk about the potty or ask what’s bother ing her she just says no and digs her heals in. I have asked her if she is scared a couple of times and she says yes but she’s saying yes because I have offered it up. I am so certain that when she does it once and breaks the seal, she’ll be mad for it.

I haven’t heard of the whizzer. Googling now!

Had a sticker chart at the same age. Bladder control was also perfect but couldn't sit and let go. Ten successful wees in toilet meant a chocolate button each time and a big surprise for the tenth. A new train for his train set. Same again for poos and he got a truck. He kept his little certificates that we made and was so pleased with himself. Never had an accident since.