Defiant toddler who understands the potty?!

[raeraekathleen]

Hi,

I'm just wondering if anyone has experienced similar and has any suggestions...

My daughter has understood going for a wee and poo since around 16 months. She started using the potty occasionally but I was too nervous to go for it as everyone told me she's so young. So I carried on with nappies and let her use the potty whenever she wanted.

Then we started nursery at 20 months and she showed more signs of wanting to use the potty but I didn't want to put too much on her (cutting down breastfeeding, starting nursery and potty training). She's been at nursery 2 months and well settled so thought I don't mind giving it a good go now... she understands commands, fully understands her body functions and can hold a wee when nappy free until she has a potty or asks for a nappy.

She's 22 months now. I asked nursery for their opinion and they agreed she's very ready as she always tells them "wee" or "poo." But just as we are starting it she is refusing to sit on the potty. She sometimes will, if she wants to but on the whole just refusing it. The last couple of weeks she's been throwing melt downs if we don't put the top she wants on, or screams if we try to put socks on when she doesn't want them on. There is no reasoning with her (obviously :) she's a toddler).

I have tried sticker rewards to tempt her but she's very determined and set in her mind. I'm perfectly ok with waiting, I am just asking for ideas because if you do all the reading, she ticks every box for being ready!

Understands needing the toilet
Knows what to do
Can follow instruction
Can control her bladder

If anyone has any ideas, let me know - equally, if it's best to give up and in a few months, that's ok too. I didn't want to miss the opportunity that was all...

She's very ready. Just go for it. Be really calm, and approach it the same way as you would putting shoes on. For instance - time to go out/have breakfast/do playdoh! Let's sit on the potty and have a wee and then we can do xyz. If she refuses then fine, just say ok when you're ready to sit on the potty let me know, then we can do xyz. And wait. Allow plenty of time for this, you don't want to force her. If you drop the pressure she's got a lot less to push back against.

Thank you. I've been questioning myself because of her sudden reluctance and therefore not fully committing. I like how you put it try doing it like putting shoes on. Or saying then we go out / do play dough... I will try these methods and be calm etc thank you.

Definitely commit. What helped me was not thinking of it as if they were ready but if they were capable. Mine potty trained at 20 months and 16 months so plenty of people said they weren't ready, but I knew they understood and could do it. And they did. Just make sure that you hold off doing the activity until she at least tries for a wee on the potty. Best of luck!