At wits end with number 2’s

[Physioterrorist]

Hoping for some advice. Not a nice topic for my first ever thread but I promise I’m real!

My DD is 4 next month, she has been toilet trained (for wees) and in pants for around 6 months now with very occasional accidents. She still wears a nappy at bedtime. However she just cannot crack using the toilet for poos and I am at my wits end with the amount of ruined pants I am having to throw out almost every day!

She seems to try holding it in until she has her nighttime nappy on which is leading to lots of accidents and poo escaping during the day. Sometimes there is a smell even though there is nothing in her pants, so I’m guessing the poo is ready to come out but she is holding it?

I’ve tried sitting her on the potty/toilet every hour or so, or when I can tell she needs to go but she is still holding it until a night and I just have no idea what to do anymore!

Health visitor couldn’t really suggest anything and said that DD will do it when she is ready.

Any help or advice would be much appreciated.

This book was recommended to me by a Continence Nurse...

Stool withholding - Sophia J Ferguson

Withholding is really common and usually a consequence of them having a bit of a painful poop at some point. They may also have an inclination for constipation either caused by the withholding, diet, dehydration or for some unexplained reason. I would get advice from the GP and potentially try some stool softener that you can give to her regularly like Movicol. Movicol isn't a laxative as such but rather helps the colon retain more water meaning it makes It softer and easier to pass.

It is a problem if it's not addressed as in severe cases

The Eric website is really informative.

I would definitely recommend an osmotic laxative like movicol. We had a lot of issues with stool withholding and constipation when my DD was potty trained. 2 years later and she's still on it but much lower dose and she's just cracked doing poos at school which is a big breakthrough!
Not really the point of your post but why are you throwing pants away? Poo stains wash out in the machine.

Thank you for the advice. It’s good to hear about the eventual breakthrough, makes me feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel! With regards to the thrown away pants, it’s the more stubbornly stained ones that get thrown out. If DD notices even a tiny, faded stain she will refuse to wear them, shame that it isn’t enough of a deterrent for her to use the loo though!

Have you tried getting her to sit in the toilet and blow bubbles when you know that she needs to go but is not giving up the goods?
Apparently is relaxes the same muscles that are needed to poop.