Should I Preserve? PT twin girls 32 months

[GreenShades]

Hi,

I decided to start potty training my twin girls, they were not showing any signs but I thought as they are coming closer to their 3rd birthday I would give it a try and see.

For a month I had the potty in the bathroom and for 10 days before taking off nappies I would sit them on as part of their morning routine. At first, they were unwilling to sit for long but this improved as the days passed.

I decided to start this Monday afternoon after nap by removing nappies and trousers. Twin 1 had two accidents but after that took herself to the potty without being told by me. She has had no accidents since then but is still bare.

Twin 2 is having accidents every 10-15 minutes once she starts needing a wee. This has been on going since Monday but I feel stuck as if I put her back in nappies her sister might ask for them too.

Today after 5 days, I decided to introduce a reward chart and chocolate buttons (They never have chocolate). There were big tantrums from Twin 2 as I explained she could only have them if she went on the potty. When I wouldn't give in to giving her the chocolate she threw her potty.

Twin 2 is very aware of the potty. She praises her sister when she uses the potty. When we catch her own wee in the potty she says she has done a wee. When she watches the potty training cartoons she will describe what is happening.

Should I wait it out or try again for twin 2?

What part do you think she’s struggling with? if you can identify where it’s going wrong, Can you help her. Does she know how to tell she needs to go? Does she not want to stop playing? What’s getting in her way?

If you know she’s peeing every 15 mins (did I misread because that seems a lot?) can you wait 10 mins then sit her on the potty with some cartoons or a toy and just wait. Massive reward when she goes. Rinse and repeat until she’s getting the hang of it. After a while you can ask her if she knows when she’s going to pee, and get her to start thinking about and recognising that feeling.

She struggles with making the connection that she needs to sit on the potty when she needs a wee. I think she is not recognising the sensation as when she is playing etc she wees and there is no change in her facial expression or she does not move from that area.

Regarding the every 15 minutes, this morning when she woke she had a wet nappy after that she was going every 10, 15, 20 minutes from 9:15am until 11:15am. She went 9 times.

I did not want to give her anything while she was sitting on potty as I thought this might be how she will always associate with going on the potty. Maybe this is something I can try tomorrow?

Thank you for your reply.

If she's going that often (does her bappy get wet after 15 minutes too?) it sounds like her bladder control/capacity might not be there yet perhaps? My daughter (3 in jan) does maybe 5 wees a day total, average liquid intake I think.

My little girl is training this weekend too, but she can hold it for hours. Arguably we've waited way too long, but we had real issues with our older son when we tried him from 2.5. He was almost 4 when he suddenly clicked, before that the trying had caused quite the trauma and he loathed the potty and the toilet.

I honestly am not sure how to handle that with twins! Would it be so bad to let them both go back to nappies for a month or so (if twin 1 wants to with her sister that is)? I know it's not popular but twin 2 doesn't sound physically ready or capable yet?

@Blessedbethefruitz They still take a 1.5hr nap. Surprisingly they both stay dry during that time.

Twin 1 just got it on the first day and like your daughter she just has a handful of wees during the day.

I have decided to start introducing loose trouser today and see how that goes.

Definitely don’t stop it’ll make it so much harder down the line. Personally I don’t see the point of the potty, I’d just go straight to the toilet.

keep them naked from the waist down at home, no tv and pop them on the toilet every 30 minutes. You should have it cracked in 2 days.

She will absolutely have the bladder control and physical readiness because the muscles are linked to walking and she’s nearly 3. Especially with the tantrums you describe over the reward and the ignoring having a wee (if she’s naked she will absolutely know it’s happening, she might just be pretending otherwise), I think it sounds more like a stubborn behavioural thing. Which is really common!

Probably, she’s trying to hold it, can’t, so there’s a small accident but she won’t give up on holding it so is not fully emptying her bladder and then unsurprisingly still needs to go again a few minutes later. After an accident I would put her on the potty and give her a fidget toy, let her watch TV (anything to get her to sit and relax!) and wait for the rest. Then lots of praise and a smartie and hopefully it’ll start to click. Some kids like twin 1 are cooperative and get it quickly. Some like twin 2 need a bit more persuasion. I would not give up because the resistance can get so much worse when they hit 3. You could also try underwear for twin 2; the unpleasantness of wet pants clicks more for some kids than bare bum which just leaves a puddle on the floor they can walk away from!

I potty trained my twins last year - definitely persevere if you can - at age 3 you don't really want to stop and then restart again

Is there a downstairs toilet you are using for the potty? If not for the twin 2 maybe put the potty on a towel somewhere downstairs and closer if she can't hold it as long and then gradually move it further away as her bladder control gets better

One of my twins couldn't have cared less about rewards 😂 so didn't work for him. He preferred it to be more of a game - think flying him upstairs like a superman (I was bloody knackered after a week!)

Also one twin flat out refused using a potty - age 3 they are probably at the taller end to comfortably use one so you might be better off getting a seat and steps combo for the toilet - then play on how's she's the "big" girl for using the toilet - bit of sibling rivalry might help!

@houseselling101 Hi, thank you for your reply.

I keep both potties in the living room as I don't think they can hold for that long.
I do have for the upstairs bathroom, a child toilet seat and steps and Twin 1 is doing great but I don't think she could manage with going up and down the stairs just yet.

I found the rewards were not motivating at all so I have not used them today.

I think for Twin 2 it is just bladder control. Today she could wait half hour in between some wees. Some were just 5-10 minutes between wees.

At what age did you potty train your twins and were they showing signs or not? Also, how is it a year on? When do the accidents lessen?

@AperolWhore If Twin 2 is managing only 10-15 minutes between some wees, do I just clean up after her but still take her every 30 minutes? I don't know how to go about this.

@InTheRainOnATrain Thank you for your reply, today I started them with loose trouser. Twin 1 had one accident but then after that remembered to pull her pants down.

Twin 2 surprisingly when she would have accidents couldn't wait to pull off her own pants. She was very uncomfortable with them when wet. So then when I would say let's sit on the potty and she would sit down.

@GreenShades

My girl twin was about 2.5 - she did show signs and cracked it within 2 weeks I waited until 2 weeks before 3rd birthday for boy twin (mainly as he wasn't ready 6 months earlier, would only use the toilet so needed him to be a bit bigger and also I needed a rest 😂)
He was more of a boot camp approach when there was a week of bad weather which coincided with a week off work I had so didn't leave the house for a week

How often is twin 2 drinking? I did find that for them to get used to controlling their bladder they had to have a good amount in there so would fill them up on a juice and then wait for fewer big wees. Rather than letting them sip on fluids all day and have lots of small wees

One year on - boy twin was pretty accident free within a couple of weeks. And he has been dry at night for the last 3-4 months

Girl twin - she had accidents for 6-8 weeks I would say. She is all not dry at night - no where near. unfortunately she has been severely ill in hospital and her illness has caused long term bladder damage so I'm having to potty train all over again!

Is it big wees or just a bit wet? It may be that she just doesn't have full control and is just letting a bit out rather than full gush?

I found this with girl vs boy

I think I did 3-4 days no bottoms on then loose bottoms for 2-3 days with no pants then added pants in

I'd clean them up but - and my ofsted outstanding childminder did this - when they are a few weeks into potty training is not change them so quick - leave for longer periods of time - so that they actually do feel uncomfortable- there is no incentive for them to stop playing and go to the toilet if they know they are going to get changed within seconds of having an accident

@houseselling101 Oh I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter, hope she has a full recovery!

Twin 2 loves to drink water, she is not fond of anything coloured so doesn't take to juice well and she drinks big amounts in one go.

I think this afternoon there has been a breakthrough. Normally when she starts having a wee she goes after that every 10-15 minutes within the hour. I know she is very stubborn so instead of saying to her "Do you need potty?" I have instead been saying "c'mon it's time for potty" and she has been stopping what she is doing and cooperating. I read this strategy online and it has worked this afternoon.

Her signs are much clearer so at the 10, 15, 20 minute mark I am watching her to see if she is showing signs. If she is, I assist her to potty and she does use the potty. This afternoon though she has been going stretching out to every 30 minutes but that is with me telling her it's time to use the potty. I read online about using potty at every 30-minute intervals.

Today I started the loose trousers and I have not been removing them as quickly, instead she is fighting to take them off herself.

I am a ftm so as much as I do read I just feel so naïve to it all. Like we have dentist appointment coming up in early January. When are they able to hold their wee for a few minutes because right now Twin 1 can just make it across the room to her potty.

My mother tells me I should just wear a nappy (she did this with her own children) when we go outside but I feel like that would be confusing. I know about travel potties and lining your car seat but our carboot has its space taken up by a twin pram, so where would we use the potty if they needed it when we are not around any toilets in public? Please can you tell me what you did in the early days or months when outside in public?

Thank you.

Thankyou! Sounds like things are going really well!

The ability to hold it should improve quickly - I gradually moved the potties out of the room they were in and upstairs so they have to walk further and further to get there?

Days out etc or even just going to the shops I would wait until either they'd both been for a wee or 20 mins after their last drink I'd say "right wee time then we can go out"

If it's to the park I'd just take a change of clothes and nappy bags to put wet clothes in - accidents will inevitably happen with all the running up and down

If it's to the shops I'd go to ones I know have public toilets so I'd ask as soon as we got there if they needed a wee

Dentists and doctors have toilets - yes it's a faff taking them all at the same time - I'm a single parent so have to do it all on my own so chaotic mad dashes to toilets I'm used to! I'm sure I'll be shouted at on here but I've always ate out on my own with them as well in cafes and restaurants (with my older child) and there is usually someone kind who will watch one for me if it's really chaotic! Not every stranger is a danger - most are just normal women who recognise a fellow mum in need 😂

Somewhere with no toilets - none of mine like doing wild wees in the bushes - I'll take a portable potty with a lid and find somewhere discreet but I'm dead against whipping potties out around people. By 3 I didn't really use a pushchair much so would have them sit in the boot on the potty

Putting nappies on - i would put the nappy on OVER pants that way they still feel material against them rather than a nappy - if they have an accident they will still feel uncomfortably wet so bit likely to continue to do it voluntarily but at least you've got the nappy there to save any clothes or car seats or beds (or sofas - I often did this if they fell asleep on the sofa as I could put the nappy on over clothes whilst they were sleeping)

@houseselling101 Thank you for this, really helpful info. Hoping this week goes well.😄

Bit of an update, helpful for those with difficulty in the early days. I'm glad I stuck with it as Twin 2 has shown signs of improvement.

She has consistently had a dry nappy at nap time. Nap usually lasts 1.5 hr. She has been able to wait longer between wees, anywhere from 30 to 1.5hr.

The only issue we are still having is that I look for her signs and take her to the potty. I have tried to wait to see what she does but she will stand there and make no move towards the potty. After having an accident then she will ask to be taken to the potty.

Is there anything I can do to help her with getting to the potty before she starts having an accident?

@GreenShades

Great progress!

I used to just drive everyone nuts by asking every 20 mins/30 mins if they needed to go? If I didn't ask then girl twin wouldn't always show signs at all.

I found boy twin easy to predict as boys seem to do this funny dance - named the "wee wee dance" 😂 in our house when it's clear he needs to go

I think we some kids it just takes time. It took my youngest ages to start self initiating. I would just stick with a schedule. If every 30 minutes = no accidents then increase to 45 minutes, once that’s successful make it an hour, and so on in 15 minute increments until you’re only reminding them if it’s been 2 hours and they haven’t taken themselves.

@houseselling101
@InTheRainOnATrain I have started a routine with her and then slowly increase the time until the next potty wee. She is taking to that well. She has always loved routines. Today afternoon when I have been telling her its time for potty she has been asking to go on the toilet instead! I'm so shocked, to think that last Friday I was thinking to just go back to nappies for her 😫