Poo problems - 3 year old boy

[GingerMamaSheffield]

Help please! I'm at my wits end.
Son turned 3 in July his year. Started potty training in Nov 2023. He's fine with wees but still poos his pants most days.
He has gone whole weeks without accidents before so we know he can do it.
If he's at home, with no trousers on, then he will go on the potty so he definitely recognises the need to go.
With trousers/pants on he seems to think it's ok to poo his pants.
We always say 'poos go in the potty on toilet. We've never said 'it's ok' when he's had an accident or done anything to make him think it's ok to poo his pants. Since starting potty training we've been consistent and never put him in nappies (except for bedtime)
Have tried talking to him, stickers, positive reinforcement (praise and treats for getting it right), negative reinforcement (taking toys away if he poos his pants). Nothing works.
We're absolutely at our wits end with cleaning pooey clothes after 10 months of it. He's at nursery 4 days a week. So far they're unhelpful and just say he'll get there in the end.

Ah we're in a similar position and unfortunately I do think it's just a case of continuing to remind him of where he needs to go.

My little boy was four in August but we still have days where he does a poo in his pants. We don't show our frustrations with him though - we just remind him where he needs to go and make sure we hugely praise him when he does poo on the toilet.

He will get there but they say boys can take a little longer than girls

@juicydroppop thanks so much for replying. We've realised he's constipated which we never considered before as he's going a few times per day. Apparently this can happen when they get bunged up and then they don't get much warning that they need to go. We're trying a high fibre diet to see if that helps.
I really appreciate your reply 🙂

The high fibre diet will make him Pooh more without warning sometimes.

@GingerMamaSheffield how did this turn out? We are having the same issue with our nearly 3 year old.

Hello, @lozzzzzzza20 sorry to hear you're going through the same thing, it's so tough for you as parents and for the kid.

After keeping a food/poo diary we made a connection that my son's symptoms were worse when he'd eaten lactose. It seems he has an intolerance which was upsetting his tummy and meant he was getting constipated.

We have now almost completely eliminated lactose from his diet, along with good habits such as regular toilet/potty sits especially after meals (we use screen time to make this more enjoyable for him) and loads of praise when he tries, even if nothing comes out. We occasionally used laxatives to clear the initial constipation.

I'm so pleased to say that poo accidents are much rarer now, maybe 1 or 2 per week when at the worst it was about 5 times a day. My son is so much happier.

Unfortunately the Dr was dismissive when I suggested that my son could be suffering from an allergy/intolerance and prescribed a heavy dose of laxatives without trying to figure out why this was happening, which made things much worse. I know you're not supposed to restrict child diets without medical advice but in our case, we'd tried everything else with no improvement.

I obviously can't give medical advice but have you considered that your little one could be constipated? It seems counterintuitive when they're having lots of accidents but it can happen when they're so bunged up there's overspill. They have no control over when this comes out and lose the sensation that they need to go.

OP, I’ve been through this with my dc. The laxatives make things worse, and then they make things better. The younger the child is when this is resolved the better - dc can get away with it in reception but from Y1 the other kids start noticing the poo accidents.

Movicol is excellent for getting young children who’ve been constipated into normal regular habits.

👏