How to know to give up or persevere

[Bells3032]

I am aware my timing is awful to start this. I had my second 3 weeks ago so was planning to wait but daughter (whose 2 years 7 months) has appatently been going to the loo all week by herself according to her nursery. All Friday afternoon at a friend she kept telling me she was going for a wee and going to the toilet and washing her hands and she's also reaching the point she keeps pulling down her trousers herself. so I thought we were planning a weekend at home anyway and weather is nice lets give it a go. I also thought she was the higher end of normal as all the NHS advice and books seem to say 2.5 at the latest.

First day was ok. 4 wees in the toilet, 4 on the floor and one poop in the floor.

Today she's done one wee in the toilet. And something like 5 accidents plus two poops (although one made it to the bathroom just not the toilet) despite us taking her every half hour.

Part of me thinks just give up esp as she has already had a lot of change but the other half thinks just keep going now weve started.

How do we know which to do??

So this is only day 2 of having a proper go at it? I'd say carry on! In those first few day, accidents are inevitable. My son is the exact same age and we started him end of July. 3 or 4 days at home with no nappy on is a good approach, before moving on to pants/knickers (as sometimes the feel of underwear makes them forget they aren't wearing a nappy!). Then when they have underwear on they have a few accidents normally and realise they don't like the feeling of wet underwear, then they have the motivation to go on the potty/toilet more. I find things so much easier now he's potty trained and that will really help with having a newborn! Persevere if you can! When you go out remember plenty of spare clothes as accidents will happen, but don't worry about them, they will stop. Now the only accidents my son has is when he hasn't made it in time or he hasn't properly positioned himself (more of a boy issue!), which is rare.

Unfortunately 3-4 days at home isn't really realistic and she's due back at nursery tomorrow (who are supportive and told me to go for it this weekend).

I find all the advice so confusing and contradictory. Some say naked. Some say pants so they know they've wet themselves. Some say by 2.5 at the latest. Some say start nearer three. I just don't know.

I've read all the advice and books but they all seem to advise you can do it in two to thre days. Feel like we are getting no where but a big mess on the floor

Carry on.

We did it with a newborn and the way we did it was my dh was solely resposnible for baby i was responsible for toddler.
If we swapped it was like pilots do handover.
"Dh you are now watching toddler i think she will need to pee shortly"
"Dw you are now watching toddler and i am going to see to baby"

I watched her like a hawk amd we gad a potty in the living room kitchen and one on first floor.
You really have to watch them.

Hours 48ish were the hardest i was exhaused from watching her but we were doing short trips after 3 days and business as usual in 7 days

We did Oh crap! Nothing on the bottom after 3 days we put her in loose shorts she could pull up and down.
After a week we did knickers.

Ah, tbh @Bells3032 we started it on a Tuesday when our son was going to nursery on Thursday (but only goes for 5 hours). I only said 3-4 days as that's what I always hear is recommended. There must be many of us who simply just don't have that many days in a row.
Your nursery sounds supportive so I'd carry on. I didn't find our nursery particularly supportive (they seem to only do 2 toilet visits in the 5 hours he is there - when you are advised to keep offering it to them in the beginning - and they only use toilets, potties not allowed!)
As for the age thing. I keep hearing there is no 'ready' like we are all told (as long as they can physically sit and also communicate!).
I know many people who haven't trained their 3 year olds yet so I wouldn't say 2.5 was particularly late though.

I think carry on now you've started and she's keen. Nursery sounds supportive too which is great.
I wouldn't worry as much about age than just her being enthusiastic about it and ready to try.
In my experience this is the key thing rather than being trained at a certain age.