Potty training nearly 4 year old

[Samk79]

My son will be 4 next month. I started potty training him in January.
He has done really well either going for a wee bit going for a poo is a whole other issue!

Initially he refused to do a poo, he then did 3 poos on the potty over a few days and since then refuses and does it in his pull up.

I tried taking him out of the pull ups a few weeks ago and putting him in pants and it made absolutely no difference.

He has had issues with loose stools over the last 10 months. We have been to the GP and had blood and stool sample tests which were all clear.

We have cut out dairy which does seem to help. One of the doctors did mention toddler diarrhoea

I contacted the health visitor who suggested contacting Eric which I did. The last I spoke to said it sounded like he was constipated and had impaction and recommended a disimpaction diet. I spoke to the gp who said he didn't think he was constipated as he usually opens his bowels every day. He agreed to prescribe lactulose which he has only been taking for a couple of days.

I'm so glad my little boy doesn't start school until next sept so I do have time. He is very tall for his age and I can feel people looking at me if I have to take him to baby changing when we are out!

He tells me as soon as he has done a poo in his pull up. I've tried the whole rewards with stickers and bubbles but it doesn't seem to help!

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Sometimes it's the letting go of the poo that is the issue, not the control or the idea of being potty trained. My ds went back a little for quite a while, asked for a pull up when he needed to poo. He was about 3, tbh I went along with it while encouraging him gently and we watched that video When Poo goes to Pooland. Otherwise I went with him on it and it passed. Stress etc about it could be causing the impacting.

Have you tried removing potty and going with toilet training seat. If he is tall the toilet might be a better position than a potty

@lmhj we have got a seat for the toilet asell
But doesn't seem to make any difference

Does he go to nursery at all?

I recently potty trained my 3 year old. He cracked wees quite quickly but then he went back to nursery and he was having a poo accident about once a day for around a month before he finally figured out pooing in the potty/toilet. It happened overnight. He went from not being able to do it at nursery at all, and only being able to do it at home when we made him sit for ages, to suddenly just being able to do it. I don't know what happened but something obviously just clicked for him. I think the fact that he was at nursery helped a lot because he could see other children asking to go and using the toilet.

Also, the potty stage lasted a few weeks at best. He's now using the toilet every time with his own toilet seat. Do you think that would help your son?

I think a big part of it is ditching the pull ups and just committing to not going back, no matter how many accidents it takes.

Also, using the sticker chart didn't seem to make much difference but using Smarties as bribery definitely helped.

Up the bribery. We used smarties. And we used a book called Polly Poo Goes Home.

Ditch the pull ups.

Movicol is better than lactulose.

Talk to him about what poo is, it being a by product of food and that if he doesn't poo it will get all stuck together inside him and cause pain and make him ill.

Good luck!

Ooh another smarties user. Yes, they were good as we could change how many he got and he could choose the colour.

Also, as he's nearly 4 you can ask him what he doesn't like about pooing... Are you scared to have a poo? What is scary about it? I'm right here I'll look after you. Does it hurt? Do you not like the splash? Etc etc.

Try getting him to read a book on the potty when he needs to poo. Or blowing games. Like blowing bubbles or a windmill or blocking blocks down. Blowing helps them release the poop and takes away the 'fear'

We also used bribery. 1 chocolate button for a sit 2 for a wee 3 for a poo

We've just had this same issue although he has been wee potty trained for 3 years! We recently snapped a pull up and put it in the toilet wedged into the toilet seat. He managed to do that quickly as he could still feel the nappy. Then we moved it to sit in the water so it didn't splash him and after 2 weeks we completely took it away. He's officially been pooing in the toilet properly for 3 weeks, with only 2 weeks left before school!!! In total it took 6 weeks xx

My son is exactly the same… we have been toilet training for 6 weeks and he is perfect with wees and is dry day and night but the poo is a different matter will not go on the potty or toilet we’ve tried everything but he will just go on the floor or in his pants!

I also called Eric for tips but they said I am doing all they would recommend, alongside 2 sachets of movicol per day and to just be patient. It’s just a bit disheartening when you read on here some take a year to figure it out!!!

Thanks for all the replies. When I ask him why he won't poo on the potty/toilet he just says he doesn't want to.

He goes to a childminder 3 days a week and pre school one day. He is good with going for a wee with the childminder but refuses at pre school.
I can use smarties as
A reward as we find chocolate affects his tummy!
I've got 2 older children and had no issues with them!

I'm just not sure if it is constipation ss he usually goes most days!

We got the Poo goes to Pooland app - DD loved it. We also bought a million books about poo - "Everybody Poos", "I really really need a poo" etc. We also tried to take pants off when we knew she needed a poo, and had the potty close by, and we just praised her for doing a poo wherever. She very quickly got happier about having a poo and has been fine ever since.

@DappledOliveGroves we are doing the same with my son. How long do you reckon it took your girl as we’re 6 weeks in and seen no improvement!

@Ljordan13 we were pretty lucky as it clicked in about 2 weeks. Hope your little one cracks it soon 🤞