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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Held back at nursery

3 replies

Friendtopia · 14/08/2024 09:30

My three year old has been held back at nursery as he refuses to poo on the toilet. He will miss out on the school prep they do in a separate class room which is one of the reasons I picked the nursery. And he won’t be with all his friends.
I wasn’t too concerned as all kids are different. But now this makes me sad that he will miss out.
Hes been dry day and night for a year, but just won’t go to the toilet to poo most of the time. He holds it or says no to going. He can and has done it so many times at home, at nursery and even out/on holiday, just not consistently. I feel like I’ve tried everything…..any non standard tips?!

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Speedweed · 14/08/2024 09:45

My child did this, and in the end I caved and bribed them with two pieces of chocolate for a poo in the toilet and lots of praise. If they came home from nursery and said they'd done a poo there, they also got chocolate. It took a few months, but once they cottoned on to getting chocolate, they gradually became happy to do a poo on any toilet when they needed to. It took a few more months to then take away the chocolate, and no problems since.

Also ask the nursery what happens when they need the toilet, as I think at my nursery they used to stand with the child which mine didn't like as they wanted to be on their own for a few minutes.

Another thing to check is that your child is encouraged to drink enough water at nursery, as if pooing is uncomfortable, that may put them off too, and that makes it worse.

Not sure if they are conventional or non-conventional tips, but hope they are useful.

Emmanuelll · 14/08/2024 09:51

There is no way that nursery should be holding him back for this! I'd be fuming. Assuming he had another academic year, here id move him to another nursery.

My dd has PDA, starts school next month and although she was toilet trained at 2 and is very bright, she would not go on the toilet until April this year. It got sorted in the end and nursery most certainly did not stop her from progressing because of this one issue.

Friendtopia · 14/08/2024 10:14

Speedweed · 14/08/2024 09:45

My child did this, and in the end I caved and bribed them with two pieces of chocolate for a poo in the toilet and lots of praise. If they came home from nursery and said they'd done a poo there, they also got chocolate. It took a few months, but once they cottoned on to getting chocolate, they gradually became happy to do a poo on any toilet when they needed to. It took a few more months to then take away the chocolate, and no problems since.

Also ask the nursery what happens when they need the toilet, as I think at my nursery they used to stand with the child which mine didn't like as they wanted to be on their own for a few minutes.

Another thing to check is that your child is encouraged to drink enough water at nursery, as if pooing is uncomfortable, that may put them off too, and that makes it worse.

Not sure if they are conventional or non-conventional tips, but hope they are useful.

Thanks. We can’t crack it at home either, so I’ve not idea what would make him go. But good idea to ask what their routine is.

I might have to make more of a focus on water than I do, as I know that helps them go.

I’ve tried a lucky dip box which was sweets or stickers which we had for ages, but he still never got the hang of it. It’s still more accidents than not and it’s been nearly a year.

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