How to stop child withholding?!

[mjs18]

Tried to potty train last couple days she's always been afraid to do anything on a potty or toilet but would happily sit on one for ages. Well this weekend we thought we go for it the first day couple of accidents in the morning then managed 3 wees on toilet she was so happy with herself. Woke up Sunday and refused to go near a toilet had a few accidents put after around midday refused to go at all. She's so uncomfortable and stressed out we offered a nappy. She wanted the nappy back on but screams if she goes wee in it.
This morning she done one wee at 7am in a nappy and since then has held on to her wee and poop even with a nappy on. Shes so emotional screaming to be carried constantly and won't do anything in case she wees. She hasn't pooped for 48 hrs now..

I've tried getting her to blow bubbles, splashing her feet in the pool she's drank plenty but every sensation she gets causes her to panic?

Any advice please?

TV? Mine lost all track of what was going on. iPad nearby while sitting on the loo or a potty. Or just put a nappy on her.

How old is she? She sounds awfully young.

She's 3 in December...I've tried the iPad and she's happy to sit on a potty watching it but as soon as the sensation comes that she needs to do anything she panics

It sounds like she’s not ready yet. I would stop and try again in a few months.

I’m in similar situation. My boy is 3 in October. He’s only done a few drops on the toilet of potty and has a meltdown when it happens. He clearly has anxiety over it but I just don’t know how to help him get over it. I don’t agree when people say he’s not ready as he tells me when he needs to go and can hold it but is just scared. I’ve also read of older children having this problem so I don’t think it’s something that will miraculously disappear if I just leave it. This has been going on for months now.

We are still struggling with this occasionally, but have had some success with coming up with an 'on the potty' only song that we sing together. Also taking turns - so I have a wee first in front of my DD, then I get her to have a wee on top. Good luck!

To be clear, we take turns having wees in the actual toilet rather than on the potty 🤣

For some reason my DD has always preferred the toilet with a training seat to a potty.

Yes this sounds very very similar! We went back to nappies and the fear has stayed she is slowly getting over it I think in the nappies now as is going slightly more often with a less dramatic breakdown but I can't see a way forward. She is 100% physically ready and she wants to wear knickers and be a big girl but when it comes to actually going to the toilet it's all too much for her!

If you find a way through please update this thread and I’ll do the same. I’ve read all the advice on the Eric website about anxiety and withholding but there never seems to be any real advice on how to get through it.

Hi just wanted to share that we experienced the same when attempting to toilet train DS. He would withhold for hours and would not entertain using the toilet or potty. We had tried to train about 6/7 times since he turned 2 and I would reluctantly go back into nappies each time feeling like a failure after no success and wondering why he just couldn't get it.
His pre school were starting to drop hints about putting him in pants and I will admit I felt embarrassed and lost all hope he would ever get there.
I had read numerous times they all get there in the end and this gave me some hope.
Anyway this summer we gave it another attempt he was 3 years and 9 months and he cracked it in a week with only a few accidents in the first few days.
Good luck