Not sure what to do next... help please

[ElmtreeMama]

Started potty training DD (will be 3 in November) in May.
She will not sit on potty if we put her on it or ask her to go on it, not for any reward system, she goes rigid like an ironing board if we try.

At home she's wearing just dresses with bare bum and is going to potty when she needs it though sometimes leaves it a few dribbles of wee too late to get there.

We have tried knickers so many times now but she just wees in them and isn't bothered about doing so, she would stay in wet knickers happily.

She can physically pull them up and down.

We've explained and shown her so many times about going to the potty.

We are using pull ups when out and she doesn't mention potty for wee at all but will ask to do a poo in a potty.

Any advice, no rush but feel we are getting nowhere and can't imagine getting to the next stage.

my two never ever went on a potty. I thought they were utterly gross. So never even got one.

got one of those over the toilet seats.

worked a treat.

Interesting
We have one and will try

But I think the issue is more that when she's wearing knickers or trousers of any kind she just wees in them without any thinking

She will will wee an poo in potty when she has a bare bum and has for a couple of months now

She really doesn’t sound ready

when they’re ready

it’s so quick and easy because they don’t want to poo / wee in a nappy so there’s a proper motivation there

2.5 for my dd
just over 3 for my ds

Do you think? That's interesting, I guess because she's going a few hours between wees and knows when she needs a wee and poo we thought she was.
I wonder if we just leave it a while then?

maybe completely abscond on. Tell her that you don’t think she’s quite big enough yet but will be very soon.

And then come back to it in 3 weeks or so. you want it to still be summer

when she does poos in her nappy

make the point of saying, would t it feel nicer if it wasn’t all over your bottom and instead and plopped in to toilet and then flushed away. You’d be out playing now instead of in here having nappy changed

Well she doesn't do them in nappy
She does them in potty

It's wees she hasn't got
It's like she thinks knickers are a nappy!

She only wears pull ups When's out
She has bare bum when home and we've tried knickers every day for past few weeks and it's like a step backwards and she doesn't get it at all now.

Maybe leaving it a few weeks will help

I'd also say stop with pull ups as that's really confusing. It needs to be potty / toilet all the time (apart from when asleep!)

Make clean up boring and time consuming. If you catch her with wet knickers she needs to go and sit on toilet to try for a wee then go upstairs get cleaned up, get new knickers etc.

Until she decides that's too much faff and it's easier to just go!

She sounds more than ready, clearly she understands all the feelings and knows exactly what to do. Likely she just thinks it’s optional because she’s still in nappies a lot of the time. Because pull ups are nappies. And then she thinks because she can wee in those she can wee in knickers and unless she knows there’s going to be a puddle because she’s naked she’s choosing not to bother trying.

I would stop the confusion. No more nappies except for bedtime. No more bare bum. Knickers all the time. Smartie every time she goes on the potty. She has to help clean up accidents- take wet pants to the laundry, get clean ones herself, sit on the loo to see if there’s any more. Since she sounds like a smart cookie that knows exactly what she’s supposed to be doing I’m sure she’ll soon cotton on very quickly that it’s easier to use the potty than go in her knickers. And for the next week or so just limit the outings to the places it won’t be the end of the world if she has an accident like the playground and always pack a spare change of clothes.

Are you trying a specific method? I did one where you put them on the toilet as soon as they pee then give them a reward straight after. They seem to catch on pretty quick. I found it helpful to follow a written method rather than just randomly try something

Thanks all :)