Total refusal of potty/ toilet

Banjocactus · 2024-07-10T16:17:05+00:00

Hi looking for some advice. 2nd attempt here at potty training. DD is 3 years 3 months. We tried a couple months ago and she got to where she was holding her wees all day & I decided to leave it a while as worried about getting a uti. Started again this week and not much better - totally refusing to sit on a potty/ toddler toilet/ regular toilet. She does seem to know when she needs a wee but is weeing her clothes instead of sitting on potty. Goes mental if I suggest it. sigh. It’s exhausting and I feel like we’re getting nowhere!

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Rainydayinlondon · 10/07/2024 17:34

Put her on the toilet and don’t allow her to get off until she’s done a wee. Wonderful treat when she does ( eg not just a chocolate button).

LeopardPrintIsNeutral · 10/07/2024 17:35

Following as we’re in the same situation

WeightoftheWorld · 10/07/2024 17:43

Have you tried nothing on bottom half to start with? You mentioned weeing through clothes so just wondering. A lot of people find that helps little ones to learn. I think anecdotally it's more effective for girls too as it's more unpleasant for them to wee themselves with nothing on than it is for boys because with girls it tends to just go straight down all over them.

Original poster

Banjocactus · 10/07/2024 18:02

@WeightoftheWorld thanks we will try nothing on the bottom half tomorrow and see if it helps! Fingers crossed!
@Rainydayinlondon she gets extremely distressed so i don’t think it would work and I cannot physically make her stay on. I have been doing the treat & sticker chart so will persevere and maybe you’re right my I need to up the treat game!

OP posts:

WeightoftheWorld · 10/07/2024 18:34

In that case, I would give it at least two solid days at home, no outings (if you can!) with nothing on the bottom half. Also try and push a reasonable amount of regular fluids, just water and not ridiculous amounts but just to make sure she's definitely going to build up some pee after a few hours! Don't leave her side (as much as possible - even if you need to pee yourself for example, take her and potty with you), and take the potty absolutely everywhere with you, even room to room. If she starts to pee on the floor, which I'd imagine she will eventually, immediately move her to the potty, which shouldn't be more than a few paces away at any one time. Pick her up and carry her to it if she won't make the move herself. And just say something like "uh oh, pee goes in the potty, not the floor!" in a breezy tone.

Worth a try anyway I think if you haven't tried that approach yet.

If there's absolutely no progress at all after two days of the above then I'd look at other training methods.

OhThe Eric website has lots of good info and resources, not sure if you've seen it before? You could also call your health visitor for advice.

Original poster

Banjocactus · 11/07/2024 10:24

@WeightoftheWorld thanks so much for the advice. We are trying this method today. No
wees so far! But she did tell me she was doing a poo and I quickly plonked her on the potty and hurrah! She was very pleased with herself. So hears hoping for the wees it will happen soon 🤞🏼🤞🏼

OP posts:

WeightoftheWorld · 11/07/2024 10:52

@Banjocactus hurrah! Fingers crossed for you both!!

raysan · 12/07/2024 11:03

Any older siblings? My eldest always tries to beat me when I need the toilet. Youngest joined in the game and will sit on the toilet just to win, 😆

Magnoliafarm · 09/04/2025 07:23

What worked in the end? She sounds just like our little boy.... Who was dry at 17 months but stayed too refuse the potty more as he got closer to 2 and now he's 3 and if I dare to suggest it mention it he goes ballistic and balls his eyes out. We put him back in pull ups recently as he was having up to 7 accidents a day. Well, on purposes really... He actually goes on the potty more when wearing pull ups

bubbletubble · 09/04/2025 07:46

Having the same problem with my 3 year old! No nappies for 2 weeks now other than sleeping but she will just hold and hold and she’s becomes so distressed. Has had very few accidents as she just holds for hours on end. Refuses potty and toilet, have tried sitting her on the potty and telling her she’s not allowed to leave until she wees but that’s not working. Tried bribery, giving a huge treat for when she had the tinest wee, tried letting her play on the iPad while on the potty, tried making it fun, sticker charts, you name it, I’ve done it 😩 it’s becoming so stressful for both of us I actually dread my non-working days as I know how stressful it’s going to be.

MossLover · 10/04/2025 20:56

Did the bottomless-stay-at-home-potty-in-every-room thing with my DD and it worked wonders, though it took her about 3 days to really get the hang of it.

Might want to put tarps down on your carpets

Nyxxie · 14/04/2025 23:02

bubbletubble · 09/04/2025 07:46

Having the same problem with my 3 year old! No nappies for 2 weeks now other than sleeping but she will just hold and hold and she’s becomes so distressed. Has had very few accidents as she just holds for hours on end. Refuses potty and toilet, have tried sitting her on the potty and telling her she’s not allowed to leave until she wees but that’s not working. Tried bribery, giving a huge treat for when she had the tinest wee, tried letting her play on the iPad while on the potty, tried making it fun, sticker charts, you name it, I’ve done it 😩 it’s becoming so stressful for both of us I actually dread my non-working days as I know how stressful it’s going to be.

Edited

How are you getting on now? I’m having similar trouble with DS so interested to know if you found anything that helped

bubbletubble · 17/04/2025 08:42

@Nyxxie no further forward unfortunately she will just hold and hold until she gets her nappy at naptime and then same again for bedtime. It’s been over a month now. Really don’t want to put her back into nappies but it’s so hard seeing her so distressed.😥