Potty trained for two years but nowhere near at night

[1viewoftrees]

My son took to potty training more easily than I could have imagined around the time of his 2nd birthday. That was nearly 3 years ago however when it comes to night time... he is absolutely nowhere near.

I was told when we started potty training that he would go dry at night in his own time so I didn't do anything about it but now I wish I had.

From time to time he requests to wear no nappy at night. For example, last night. So he did a pee before bed, we didn't give him his usual evening milk... but he still wet the bed before midnight, wore a nappy for the rest of the night which clearly had at least another pee in it.

I considered getting him up at 10pm to do another pee in the potty but then I think, surely the aim is to get him to a point where he isn't peeing through the night so that won't actually help.

I'm at a bit of a loss. His peers who are potty trained seem to go 13 hours with no pee at night but my son must pee 4-5 times within that period!? Yet never a single accident in the day 🤷‍♀️

What’s his muscle tone like? IMO that’s usually the thing that stops night time accidents.

It's not something you can train or control, it's a hormonal change in their body that just happens. It happened for my DS just before he turned 5 - we had a week of dry nights and that was it. I know a boy who is nearly 6 and it hasn't happened for him yet. It can feel a bit frustrating but when it happens you will forget you were even worried about it!

It’s hormonal. He won’t be dry at night until he produces Vasopressin. There’s nothing you can do to make that happen.
Once he produces less urine at night the dryness will come.

So he's still not 5? He just isn't ready yet. My son potty trained as he turned 2 like yours and yet he wasn't dry at night until the month before he turned 7.
There's nothing you can do, just wait it out.

Not saying that you have any issues, as other's have said it's often just a matter of time, not something he can dictate but there's heaps of info here around the subject.

5 is still very young, certainly too soon to worry about it. If you make too much of a big deal out of it he'll get stressed which will make it worse. You just need to give it time, some children just take longer - keep him in pull-ups for now so he's not waking up in a wet bed. There's nothing you can do at this age to "train" him, just a case of waiting.
I don't think it's even classed as an issue until they're around 10 and still not dry at night.

My DS wasn't night time dry until he was 7.
As PP have said its hormonal - I think they say go to a GP to get checked at about 7/8. He also had impacted constipation at around 3 so not sure if his whole system was a bit of a mess generally. We got an alarm, pants and bed sheets from the ERIC website and actually within a month or so he was dry (could be co incidence with the timing, but think it helped). Main thing was to not make him feel bad or embarrassed- we just dealt with it as it was and didn't make a big issue of it. We still get him to go toilet just before lights out (so after his reading time).

I'm not sure what you mean by muscle tone?

Thanks so much @HappierTimesAhead - my wee boy is actually only 3 so definitely sounds like it's normal. I was worried that by not encouraging night dryness I might be causing future problems for him or something. Thanks again x

Fab thanks @WiseBiscuit. I'm not fussed about him being in nappies from my point of view I was just worrying that I might have missed a window for him or that I could cause him future problems by not encouraging him to go longer without peeing.

Thanks so much @LessOfMe99 He's actually not 4 yet (typo in my original post). I'm not in a rush for him to not need nappies I just wanted to make sure I wasn't doing the wrong thing by just waiting it out.

I actually think there is not enough information shared about it being a hormonal thing. I just happened to read it somewhere but the HV never mentioned it and when I told my mum about it she looked at me like I was speaking a different language. She was all for me getting my LO up at 10pm when I go to bed and putting him on the toilet but that seemed a bit mean and unnecessary!

Thanks @maw1681! I'm not making a big deal out of it to him :) I've just been following his lead but had a niggling worry that I might be causing future problems by not encouraging him to start having longer gaps between pees. He is actually only 3 so definitely sounds like there is no need to worry :)

There are apposing sides. But my Mother potty trianed us all by age 3 we were dry at night. She did it by waking us up at 10pm and then 5am before she left for work. We stayed asleep or went back to sleep. We were nappy free by 2 and apart from odd accident dry at night to.

I don't understand how 3 children can be potty trained for night when "experts" say it can't be learnt or trained it is a hormone. Well evidence suggests otherwise.

I still lift my 5 year old at 10pm to the toilet otherwise she will wet the bed. I wouldn't be worried at 3

It all depends on what age they produce the hormone. Some children are very young and others older.

Being woken to urinate isn’t the same as holding urine all night. The hormone reduces the urine output at night. If you don’t need to urinate you have fewer accidents. If you are being woken to urinate you aren’t being trained, urine is just being deposited in the toilet and not in nappy pants.

My DD potty trained in 3 days just after her second birthday. She was dry at night 15 months later. But it could have been at 5 or 7.

And fuck waking up at 5am.

I mean stomach/core muscles have to be fairly firm (I’m not talking six pack!!!) for bladder control.

Nothing to worry about. It'll happen on its own. Not something you can "train" as such.
My son was dry during the day at 2.5 but wasn't dry at night until 6.5. I worried myself for years over it and just one day it happened.
If he's only 3 then definitely nothing to worry about at this stage. Up to around 7-8 is considered in the normal range for nighttime dryness.

Yea but myself and siblings at similar age. Plus she only did that for 6-12 months from when she started which was age 2 for all of us.
So if it can't be trained how did she manage it and manage it with all 3 of us? Thats why it doesn't make sense.

My daughter is starting to become very conscious that she is wearing a nappy overnight and has asked to try not wearing one. She’s 5 and potty trained over 3 years ago in the day. Problem is, her nappy is heavily wet every morning. My husband forgot to put one on her a few months back and she wet the bed before midnight, so it’s not just that she’s doing her first morning wee in the nappy. She didn’t wake up when she wet the bed either. My feeling is there’s no point trying yet? Or would a few nights waking up wet help her to start waking up to wee??

I’m not overly worried as I know it’s hormonal but she is definitely getting to the age she feels a bit embarrassed about the nappy.

I don't think he will get a referral to an enuresis clinic until he is 7. So nappies until then. Then he is likely to be prescribed desmopressin which artificially creates the hormone. My son was on it until 15. Tried coming off from time to time to see whether producing the hormone. It's more common than you realise.