4 year old having lots of accidents

[Kathryn1983]

Hi all

please no judgy messages about being kind and patient

my daughter potty trained herself age 2,5 in like 2 days just decided one day she wanted pants not nappies

she started reception last September

she also decided after a few dry nights she wanted to have no nappies at night about Jan of this year - happy days

we waited over a month checking for dryness and then attempted no nappies

she went another month with no issues - again delighted

she has had the odd accident occasionally at school and occasionally at home will get to a foot from the loo and loose control

but the last few weeks it's got out of hand - night time wetness then refusing to go back to sleep so went to school after being up from 3.45 am

then an accident at school both poo and wee

then more accidents at home

more night time accidents 3/4 times this week alone

and today it hit rock bottom night time accident (calmly dealt with)

accident mid morning just after getting dressed
a poo at a garden centre in her pants
another 2 wee accidents and I have to admit by the last one I hit the roof and shouted as did her dad (not happy about it but I have repaired with her and in my defence her behaviour had been awful all day too and I was a bit over it all and having extra washing etc when busy !)

but I'm at a loss what to do now

I can't cope with the volume of washing with the night time wees my wooden floor is fucked in the downstairs loo and I'm completely done

the issue I think is that she
a) hardly drinks at school so doesn't wee there at all most days then she is gasping when she comes out and thus there is just too much liquid and not enough time to process it before sleep
b) is lazy and will wait and wait to the absolutely last second to wee hence most accidents being a foot from the fucking loo
c) it's a huge attention seeking thing - she's suddenly decided she needs to run past the loo to get me to take her to the loo - when I've said I'm busy go yourself (she has been capable for 2 years so 🤷‍♀️) she then runs about busting to go and then has an accident

has anyone experienced the same /similar I'm at my wits end with it

Hmm.

Some suggestions:

• Gently speak to her teacher and see if they can try to encourage more drinking at school?
• Remind your DD about drinking regularly at school.
• Maybe go back to nappy pants overnight because that's really not a big deal and will save one part of the headache for you at least. She will outgrow this so I really wouldn't make that a big deal.
• I think Eric have a helpline? If so you could call them, they should have some good suggestions.
• Take her to see the GP and tell them. It could be she even has a UTI for example so she does need a medical review I think given this is a sudden change in behaviour and has been ongoing for a few weeks.

Some suggestions:

• Gently speak to her teacher and see if they can try to encourage more drinking at school?

they do encourage already but the teachers aren't consistent about it

• Remind your DD about drinking regularly at school

we've done this several times - she has had problems drinking at school since September calmly encouraging, doing a reward chart etc nothing has made her drink better

• Maybe go back to nappy pants overnight because that's really not a big deal and will save one part of the headache for you at least. She will outgrow this so I really wouldn't make that a big deal.

I made that suggestion this evening and she was mortified said she wasn't a baby and that they were annoying her and it became another battle / with her refusing and after the day we've had I was over it to be honest I'll just wake her before I go to sleep and get her to have a wee instead but I have said if she can't stay dry they'll have to go on for a while longer

• I think Eric have a helpline? If so you could call them, they should have some good suggestions.

i will try this thanks I see they have some you tube videos too I'll show those to my daughter

• Take her to see the GP and tell them. It could be she even has a UTI for example so she does need a medical review I think given this is a sudden change in behaviour and has been ongoing for a few weeks.

its not a UTI people always say this but you can smell a UTI a mile off and the wee is cloudy but I will take her if it goes on its only been the last week and I suspect that's due to her not drinking at school she's not an anxious child she is bright etc and we've had no significant events or changes to attribute this too other than end of term lethargy

Is she pooing enough? If children get constipated enough, they can start having wee and poo accidents - Google encopresis.

Maybe not
she's pretty regular tho I'd say most days she goes she may skip a day and she can look pretty uncomfortable when she needs one
she has full on grown up poos 🤣
she does have a little pot belly but always has