DS back in pull ups for preschool: now what?

[newroadahead]

Our potty training journey has not been a particularly smooth one and DS’s preschool very nicely told me last week that at the moment it ‘wasn’t clicking’ and it might be best to go back to pull ups. Completely understand they don’t have the capacity to be constantly taking him to the loo and clearing up a mess.

My dilemma is what to do the rest of the time. It seems really pointless to have him in regular pants if he’s just going to soil then. On the other hand if I leave it like that he could end up never training - I mean, of course he would at some point but I’m not sure when or how I’d try again, especially when I feel in need of therapy from the last few months.

So it’s a WWYD, pants or pull ups? I have to say it’s been so NICE knowing I only have to wash what he’d been wearing today. No soiled pants to rinse and put in the wash.

How old is he? What method(s) have you tried and for how long? Do preschool have any helpful suggestions? How often is he there and how is he doing at home with using the potty ?
Sorry I know a lot of questions but there’s a big difference if Oh Crap didn’t work for your 2YO and I’d say leave it a few months then try another method, versus if he’s going to school in September and you don’t have time on your side.

Wow, lots of questions. I should have included his age, sorry, he is 3 years and 5 months, so he has another year before starting school but he is on the older side. I suspect that’s probably my fault though and I have messed it up. Preschool don’t have any suggestions: he’s there three times a week and has multiple accidents and just can’t / won’t poo in the potty or toilet, no one knows why. I think probably the most sensible thing is to leave it for a while then have another go but I’m not sure when to try again.

So - I suppose my main question is how long to leave it for? Maybe 3 months, which would put him at 3 years 8 months?

I'd leave to end of July, then you have 6 weeks to master it. In mean time sit him on toilet to poo even if he has a nappy on. I believe theirs books you can buy now x

I don’t know when he is pooing - he just souls himself and so the first I know is horrible smell!

I would leave it till the summer holidays now, 6 weeks to work on it. Don't mention it before then unless he mentions wanting to try again

Is he off for the summer? That could be a good time to clear a week, stay home and try again.

Then I think you need to work out if it’s behavioural- he knows what he’s supposed to be doing but doesn’t want to. Or medical e.g. any issues with constipation? That can cause issues with feeling when they need to go for poos and wees, and it’s really common in preschoolers. So if that’s the case you need to treat that first.

My DS had a big regression not long after starting preschool but we sent in a toilet seat from home (a folding one shaped like a frog), to make him more comfortable and agreed with the teacher to drag out accidents to make changing him take as long as possible and he would end up missing activities. He cottoned on pretty sharpish it was quicker and easier to use the loo. Then stickers for getting it right because he loves stickers. Don’t be afraid to try bribery if it’ll work! School obviously aren’t going to give sweets or presents but you can do it at home and then 5 stickers from school can equal something at home.

But definitely not your fault, I think all those ‘potty training in one week’ and ‘3 day method’ type books over promise and for a lot of kids it’s much more of a slog. You have over a year before school so plenty of time to get there.

My daughters first nursery couldn't be bothered so had her in a nappy the first day of wearing pants.
Her new nursery is making sure she goes every 15 minutes and have kept at it so she is finally getting the hang of it and also able to hold her bladder longer now. She's been doing it 2/3 months now and hardly any accidents. Maybe ask them to take him to the toilet every 15minutes. It wasn't until I moved her nursery I could restart the potty training and see results.

I tried at 2.5 and my daughter was very resistant and not getting it so we went back into nappies, and left the potty out with chocolate button treats for everytime using it. Then sometime after 3 she potty trained entirely whilst still wearing the nappy pants. If you can give it a break I would, I appreciate they are a little older but there is still time, maybe take the pressure off if the nursery isn't pressurising the toilet training.