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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Struggling to toilet train 3 year old, help needed!

11 replies

BathToysEverywhere · 15/05/2024 18:27

My DS was 3 in January and still not toilet trained. I first tried last summer when he was about 2.5 but had no luck, he got really upset at the idea of it, so I left it for a bit to try again later. I’ve been trying on and off since then, most of the time he’s simply refused to not have his nappy on, getting very upset, point blank refusing to do anything until I put a nappy back on him. I’ve been trying to wait until he’s ‘ready’ rather than force him. I don’t want it to become another huge battle. he can be so stubborn and strong willed, and most of the advice is that it’ll be easier once they’re willing and ready themselves.

I thought I had a bit of a breakthrough this week. He was happy to be nappy free and tried sitting on the potty lots. He had a few accidents but didn’t manage to do anything in the potty. I was so happy we seemed to be making progress and he was willing to at least try. Until this afternoon. He said he needed a wee so I said ‘great, let’s sit on the potty’ to which he screamed and cried that he wanted a nappy. I tried so hard but am ashamed to say I relented. Like I said before, I really don’t want this to be another battle and thought maybe he isn’t ready after all?

I feel so deflated as I thought we were getting somewhere and this was the start of our potty training journey! I feel
so embarrassed if anyone notices he’s still in nappies. I feel like I’m being judged as not being a very good parent. But it’s not like I haven’t or aren’t trying. I’m getting polite pressure from nursery and my Mum, who both think he should be out of nappies by now. I just don’t know what’s best to do. Wait a bit longer until he’s more willing? Or just persist and go cold turkey with the nappies, and deal with the screaming fits? Help, please!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BathToysEverywhere · 15/05/2024 19:44

Anyone? 😅

OP posts:
thea124 · 15/05/2024 19:49

OP this was me!!

So we tried at 2.5 total fail, tried again at 2.9 and he took to it a little bit more, for about a week and then it went backwards again, didn't help we went on holiday and just caved and put him in nappies for an easy life. Tried again at 3 and it didn't really happen, he just put up a fight and the accidents kept happening constantly, nursery even told us they didn't think he was ready; but I was so convinced he should be (because all my friends kids were!), and then about 3.5 we finally got somewhere. Poos came later.
I know how you feel about being embarrassed, I had this too, it felt like such a dark cloud over my head and a task to do that we couldn't yet do!

Stay strong, give lots of praise, rewards (that he actually wants, like sweets/a small chocolate, not reward charts).

And just remember, not everyone who says their kid it potty trained, it actually potty trained.

Also, just realised we skipped the potty, went straight for the loo with the step and kid seat!

Good luck OP. It will happen eventually x

bakewellbride · 15/05/2024 19:50

If you've been trying on and off he might be confused plus has learnt that if he begs and pleads he gets nappies. Unless he has SEN I would go cold turkey completely except for night and just really persevere and dedicate yourself to it staying at home. Mine got smarties for every success and I was persistent and consistent. Good luck x

VivaVivaa · 15/05/2024 19:51

There are different schools of thought on this.

Im sure some MNers will disagree, but at 3.5 I’d absolutely ride out the demands and tantrums for nappies. I have a very strong willed, demand avoidant child and he isn’t much easier at 4 than he was at 3. I’m infinitely glad we cracked potty training at 2 when he was more biddable. I think you should have a single nappy for night time then just not make them an option for the day. After a few weeks of being really strict with this and not relenting I’d see where you are up to. If still issues then I’d speak to the HV and/or the GP.

Conniethecatapillar · 18/05/2024 23:26

I am in the same boat with my 3 year old. She will go on the potty happily but as soon as I mention wearing knickers it's a big no and she asks for a nappy. I think I'm stuck as she has been wearing pull ups since she was 1 as she used to pull her nappies off. I'm going to try again soon.

I don't feel guilty though or judged by anyone! They all do things at their own pace and my eldest was trained when she was much younger. I don't care what anyone else thinks really.

JustmeandADHD · 19/05/2024 16:37

We’re in the same boat too! Tried at 2.5 (fail) and she’s just turned 3 but still isn’t getting it!

Workawayxx · 19/05/2024 16:43

Same boat here! 3 in Jan and she just won’t do it. I keep thinking “give it time” (my ds just got it really naturally at just over 2). I’m thinking we will have a weekend with no pants or trousers etc in the garden and really try. Maybe paddling pool out etc. Do you think your ds would be ok with that or would the no nappy be upsetting?

bluetopazlove · 19/05/2024 19:51

Do none of you regularly(daily) give your child time running about with just jumper and pants or just jumper no pants ?
Surely your child has time each day without nappies?

Conniethecatapillar · 19/05/2024 21:34

I do but it hasn't really been warm enough until now to do that. I've found it works well but as soon as it's time to put knickers on it's back to square one

Usernamechange23 · 19/05/2024 21:50

May sound odd, but the magnetic sticker chart we had didn't work. Neither did a few things over a few attempts, he backslid a lot.

He kept wanting to see a specific family member who lives far away. We told him if he filled his (A4) sheet of paper stuck on the wall by the potty with stickers, he could see them. He got a small star for wees and a bigger (fave TV show at the time) sticker for poop.

He was potty trained before he filled the sheet, forgot all about it toward the end (and kept sticking stickers on top of each other - daft boy 😂)

3boys1girlandnotime · 20/05/2024 20:42

I'm in the same boat, 3 Yr old went from refusing to sit on the potty, to holding it all the time, to just letting a bit out and having accidents to actually getting 1 wee on the potty to now not giving a toss she's wet and won't tell anyone. I too am pushing because of the shame factor. I've been shamed by other parents and my older child's preschool when he was younger and I can't take the shaming any more but also can't take the constant no progress. You aren't alone.

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