Using breastfeeding to incentivise dry pants

[KTTS]

Our son is 3y2m and he has been potty training for 3 to 4weeks. We actually had some fully dry days and exemplary potty habits and we thought we were nearly there. Then over the past 7 days, it’s as though we’ve gone back to square one. All of a sudden he doesn’t seem to notice or care if he needs a wee. He is still breastfeeding and loves mummy’s milk. We are tempted to tell him that he can only have mummy’s milk if he has some successful wees in the potty. Thoughts and ideas please 🙏

What about sticker charts? Get 5 stickers and he's allowed a comic/film afternoon/whatever motivates him.

I'd maybe find a different reward. Stopping breast feeding when you're both ready can be tricky and I'd worry he felt like you were stopping because he wasn't doing something right as it's previously been used as an reward? Stickers building up to a gift worked a charm so could be worth trying.

I breastfed until DS was 2y4m, and by that point it was more of a comfort thing. He’s now 3 and often puts his hand down my top. If it’s similar, you’d essentially be taking away his comforter and that does seem cruel for a small child to be using his comforter as a punishment essentially.

Can you find other incentives, or things to take away? Maybe rewards or other toys to take away if you want to take that approach.

Genuinely rather at your suggestion.

Never withhold food or comfort to address something like this - there is a high risk of causing lifelong eating or emotional issues.

This is a seriously damaging approach.

Read up on potty training and child development - two steps forward, one step back is completely normal. Patience.

That's a really bad idea. Psychologically making breastfeeding conditional on performance could be misunderstood by the child as love/comfort/safety being conditional on performance.

A positive reward like a sticker chart is much much better

I wouldn't withhold something used for comfort as you risk causing further issues down the line when it is time to completely stop.
It is completely normal to have regressions during the early stages of potty training, DD went through the same thing, things like sticker charts and rewarding with a chocolate button or something else she liked really worked for us and after a week or so she was back on track and didn't need them anymore.

It's like a one way ticket to childhood issues. Withholding comfort and food in order to get him to wee in the potty is about really bad idea. Perhaps the more standard chocolate button bribe?

We potty trained the eldest with raisins and the youngest with a sticker chart. The eldest was definitely food motivated but the youngest loves her sticker chart. We used it recently to come out of pull ups at night. She loves the sense of achievement when she earns something. Good luck

Thanks All. To be totally honest I wasn’t in favour of this approach either. It was kind of dropped on me, so I thought I’d try to get some external points of view to check if I was being unreasonable. We are going to persevere with our original simple approach - just celebrating the wins and downplaying the wets - but adjust our expectations.

I don’t think withholding something he finds comforting is a good idea. And when it comes to stopping BF, he may think it’s because he’s done something wrong