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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Today has been really fucking hard! Stuck in a poo limbo

7 replies

Livash · 21/04/2024 20:12

DS is 3.5, he’s never really shown any signs of potty training readiness but a few weeks ago (end of march) with encouragement from nursery we decided to give it a go. We tried a few times previously but it just never clicked, he didn’t know he was weeing, would always tell us when he had poo’d but never before I.e. when he felt the urge to go. We persevered and in fairness within a week he had cracked wees on the potty and toilet seat, overcame wee withholding and we were so proud but 4 weeks in and poos are a huge, huge issue. He absolutely refuses to poo on the potty, but also won’t do them in a nappy either. His bum is red raw from where he poos every 15 minutes but then stops himself so there is just a small amount in his bum, we are exhausted and frazzled. We have tried stickers, bribes, toys, magazines, loads of praise, no negativity. We tried putting him back in a nappy but it’s exactly the same scenario with the poo withholding because he doesn’t want to do it in a nappy. We have began giving lactoluse to soften, calpol in case it’s causing pain. But still he is withholding his poos from the potty, toilet, pants and nappy. At this point I don’t care where he poos I just hate this god damn potty training limbo we are stuck in.
Today has been really really hard, DH has been out all day, and I am just so done with it but we can’t go back to nappies because he knows what he’s doing now so every 15 minutes from 8am I have taken him to the toilet at DS’s request only for him to tantrum because he doesn’t want a poo (he does and he needs to go but he’s holding it in), I have kept calm all day and now he’s in bed and I am sat sobbing to myself into a glass of wine because I am just so worn out and frazzled and the end doesn’t seem insight.

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Icanseethebeach · 21/04/2024 20:16

Poo goes to poo land app. Sit on the potty 15 to 30 mins after meals - I would consider doing this in front of the TV/tablet, maybe not standard advice. Have a look at the eric website.

moonlitmaze · 21/04/2024 20:16

Have you tried getting him to blow bubbles while he's on the toilet?

Fran92 · 21/04/2024 20:19

I’d also go to the GP and get some paediatric movicol prescribed and make his poo really really soft so there’s no fear of it hurting, look at the ERIC website too.

Livash · 21/04/2024 21:48

Icanseethebeach · 21/04/2024 20:16

Poo goes to poo land app. Sit on the potty 15 to 30 mins after meals - I would consider doing this in front of the TV/tablet, maybe not standard advice. Have a look at the eric website.

we have this app, and the story on YouTube, it worked and kept him calm the first time but since then he just screams when we try and put it on, literally nothing is working to keep him on the potty long enough because when he feels it coming out he’s hysterical. Even back in nappies he is hysterical when he feels the poo coming out so he stops himself and then ends up with little poo smears in his bum, I honestly must have taken him to the toilet/wiped his bum over 100 times today. Obviously it’s now so sore for him but I just don’t know what else to do!

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Livash · 21/04/2024 21:49

moonlitmaze · 21/04/2024 20:16

Have you tried getting him to blow bubbles while he's on the toilet?

Yep! Both with actual bubbles and into a glass to see who can blow bubbles for the longest, again the novelty wore off very quickly, he’s now not interested.

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Livash · 21/04/2024 21:50

Fran92 · 21/04/2024 20:19

I’d also go to the GP and get some paediatric movicol prescribed and make his poo really really soft so there’s no fear of it hurting, look at the ERIC website too.

Is movicol any different to lactoluse? His poo is already really really soft, I think he just hates the feeling of it coming out of his bum.

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Pinklilly · 21/04/2024 23:05

hi I don’t know if this helps- but when you pop him on the toilet are you with him?

I realised my daughter seemed to like privacy when pooing so I just stood outside and closed the bathroom door a little. That helped initially. Maybe privacy might help.

i can’t be sure but in a way maybe it’s so built up in his head now. Perhaps just say you’re popping out to get something and you will be back in a minute rather than saying I’m leaving you so you can poop in privacy.

good luck! I’m sorry for your situation it sounds so tough.

has he ever done a poo on the toilet? I found that the first poo was quite scary for my daughter- I held her hand and just started chatting about random nonsense which made her giggle and relax and I guess it just happened.

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