My DD, 2 year and 9 months, is doing well at potty training overall. We've only been going 6-7 weeks I think.
Will try on the potty for wees majority of time when requested (or bribed), very few wee accidents but does have to be asked so won't go spontaneously. Poops, I know can be a different matter, but I'm not really sure if she is withholding or if this is something else, let me describe the situation:
She is going for a poo in her big girl pants, possibly 10-12 times a day. It isn't diahorrea, nor it it hard or constipated, it seems to be a perfect consistency. It is just a little bit at a time, and then now and again a bigger one when encouraged but more often than not in her pants. She is quite happy to tell me when she does one, and will call out to say she's doing it. But when I ask if she needs to go anymore or to try to push, she says no, and nothing more comes out until 20-30 mins later.
Because she was having some difficulty going and she seemed to be making some skids, I was concerned she might be withholding and so I eased off any pressure, and told her if she really needs to go, if she is struggling she can just go in her pants if she needs to; I'd rather that she felt comfortable to get into a rhythm of just letting the poo out rather than do little bits and then we'll get her to start sitting on the potty again. She tells me when it happens, and will let me wipe and change her (a lot of wiping and changing in a day!) I encourage her to try to push a bit more, see if she wants to try the potty, and I tell her and I think she knows, that if she managed to get a 'big poo' in the potty she gets a big reward (a biscuit, or chocolate). she even knows now she'll likely get a treat if she just lets a big poo out, even in her pants at this stage.
-When I think of withholding, I think of children who will try not to poo at all- but she's letting it out, just a little at a time, she perhaps she's just not
'pushing'? Is this also withholding but just a different style from what I think of?
-If she's withholding in this style, will she get any of the cyclical issues such as constipation, as she is going daily at the moment. Im a bit anxious about this happening from some horror stories.
-she's not constipated, so it shouldn't hurt but she did mention she was concerned it would hurt before doing a bigger poo in her pants today. she managed it and it didn't hurt when I asked her after, but perhaps she had a negative experience recently with a bigger poo hurting?
-Perhaps she knows the aim is to get it into the potty so when she starts, she stops herself and then can't continue if the urge goes? She is a big pleaser and tends to want to get things right. I wanted to ease off pressure but maybe the mixed message of 'pants ok if you're struggling' but 'we're aiming to get it in the potty' is a bit confusing and throwing her off.
-She is a snacker/grazer and I'm happy mostly to let her be this way as she still eats very well and varied/healthy rather than having bigger meals, could this be meaning she opens her bowels little and often too? (But this wasn't an issue before and her food habits haven't changed much- but wondering if anyone knows if this could effect her or be a physiological cause)
-She recently, in the last 2 weeks, finished a 5 day course of antibiotics for a really nasty UTI. Could the antibiotics be effecting her bowel movements? I know they can wreck gut bacteria for a bit. But its definitely not diahorrea.
I do think its likely behavioural as it has started around potty training. Any thoughts/advice welcome. I know this has been a long read but wanted to give all the info so Thankyou so much if you've come this far.