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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

3 year old point blank refusing to potty train and holding it in

7 replies

MinnieMoo22 · 30/03/2024 17:33

Hi all, this is my first time posting on Mumsnet but I’m really at the end of my tether and having sleepless nights and have the most awful mum guilt, feeling absolutely hopeless and useless.

My 3 and 3 month year old son is just absolutely refusing to use the toilet/potty to do wee or number 2’s. We have tried absolutely everything - various toilet seats, treats, sticker reward charts etc but nothing is working and he is crying his eyes out everytime we sit him on the loo to the point where he’s holding it in for 8 hours at a time and has got severely constipated. This is our third attempt having had a few weeks break in between. My son has full understanding of the toilet, he knows exactly what he has to do, he can identify his body parts, can communicate his needs fully with us and is a bright and funny little boy but this whole potty training saga is just a nightmare. We have tried stories, singing and dancing and he will have one good day where he does wee on the toilet and then that’s it, after that just refuses and cries to get off.

Does anyone have any advice or ideas on how I can get him going or what I could try? I am really feeling so stressed out about this and feel like I am a failure of a mum as his nursery have made me aware many times that he is only one of two children in his group that still wear pull-ups to nursery.

Thank you in advance x

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Bankholidayhelp · 30/03/2024 17:47

Just leave him to it. Have the bits and bobs about (potty etc), get one of the poo books for toddlers and read it together, with no pressure. If you can let him go nappy free in the house.

Alternatively have you tried a sticker chart. With not too onerous targets

sausagepastapot · 30/03/2024 17:51

Seriously, just relax. You're making this far more stressful than it needs to be. He will do it when he's ready! Stop making a huge deal out of it.

Purtyburty · 02/04/2024 17:40

I sympathise as I am in a similar position. Tried her at 2.5 and was a disaster. Tried now that she is 3 and she screams if she doesn't have a nappy on. Totally inconsolable.

AmaryllisChorus · 02/04/2024 17:47

I agree. Take the stress out of it. Just say: 'You'll know when you are ready. There's a nice padded seat and steps up to the big boy toilet all ready for you to use it when you feel you are big enough.'

FinallyHere · 02/04/2024 22:04

AmaryllisChorus · 02/04/2024 17:47

I agree. Take the stress out of it. Just say: 'You'll know when you are ready. There's a nice padded seat and steps up to the big boy toilet all ready for you to use it when you feel you are big enough.'

This. Perfect.

And meanwhile trust the process.

TheOneWithUnagi · 02/04/2024 23:13

Hello
I don't have much advice just solidarity! My daughter was exactly the same when we tried at 2 years 9 months, she would hold her wee all day until she had a bath (and weed in the bath!) and got so so upset crying for a nappy. I couldn't believe how long she would hold it for.
We tried when she was 3 years and 1 month and it was so easy. I know yours is now older than this but sounds similar so maybe just needs more time. It was a battle of wills in the end!
The thing that helped most is when she finally did a wee in the potty we called nana and told her on a video call and my daughter was so proud from the praise (apparently us praising her wasn't good enough)
Good luck, he will get there eventually.

Conniethecatapillar · 02/04/2024 23:16

Don't feel guilty! They all get there eventually. I'm having the same issue with my 3 year old she knows how to use it but refuses to tell me when she needs to go. I have given up and then will try again in a month and then hopefully she will get it one day 😅

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