3.5yo won’t poo on potty

[VioletLilies]

DS was a little late to potty training as every time I sat him on a potty or toilet seat he got very upset so I’d leave it a while and try again. Just before he turned 3 he would accept sitting on a potty and we’ve managed to sort the wees.

However, he won’t do a poo on there. I know it can be common to want to do it in a nappy or hold it till bedtime but it’s like he doesn’t care he’s in pants, he goes anytime. He usually runs and hides which to me shows that he knows he’s about to do it, so I don’t understand why he’s not using the potty which is closer. If I get to him in time I’ll pick him up and take him to the toilet but he gets upset and will never go then. The only time I’ve got him to go in the toilet is if he’s in the bath and needs it - he’ll let me get him out and put him on the toilet then, and he gets lots of praise for doing that.

There have been a few times recently where he’s doing something and suddenly looks at me panicked, as if it’s taken him by surprise, but he’s usually started by that point so there’s no time to stop him.

I’ve read poo goes to Pooland, used stickers, chocolates, he’s chosen a magazine he can have when he goes 5 times (still yet to get it), he’s chosen his own toilet seat and potty. When he’s done one I make a point of putting it down the toilet where it belongs. If I think he needs one I might encourage him to sit on a potty with a book or the iPad but he still doesn’t like being on it. He’s got potties in different rooms so he can have privacy.

Has anyone had anything similar and tried something different?!

Does he like magazines? I would give him a magazine for just doing it the once. So its an attainable goal - set them up to succeed

Buy the magazine show him it, he gets it when his poo goes in the potty or toilet whichever he prefers.

I always recommend the book oh crap but it sounds like you have nsiled the wee element so it may confuse him if you start going back and starting again.

Sounds like you're doing everything right. I would just hang in there.

Make sure you always have plenty of spare clothes, wet wipes and dirty clothes bags (and a towel in the car seat) wherever you go so that it's not a huge deal to sort him out (like, don't actually make it fun that he's pooed himself again, but don't make him feel bad either) and, like you said, go on with the massive praise when he gets it right. He will definitely get there, and probably fairly soon, since you're already half way.

Good luck!!! 🍀

He’s never actually had one before but he saw this and said he wanted it so I bought it and he tells everyone he’ll get it when he does 5 but shows no inclination to actually do it… (we’re on 3 in 6 months, but all fairly recently. I think because we had a week off so I was able to catch when he was about to go during the day, then he held it until bath time). I have a bag of chocolate buttons and he’s had two as soon as he’s done one. But I’ll happily give it to him if he does it again!

I always have lots of spares. I’m just very aware that he’s starting school in September, and we’ve made no progress in 6 months which is worrying me! Luckily nursery are lovely about it but I feel bad for them too. People have said to consider nappies again but I don’t want to go backwards or confuse him - he’s dry overnight so have stopped buying them.

Have you tried directly on the toilet as opposed to the potty? The main reason I mention that is because you said he goes to hide so I wonder if privacy is what he needs.

is there any pattern? Like 1hr after meals or first thing in the morning? If so can you pop him on toilet at those times and read him a book and sort of guide him through it.

my daughter is 2.5 so I appreciate she is much younger but for her I saw her “poo face” popped her on toilet and she said mummy I’m scared etc I don’t want to. I just said let’s just see and read to her and held her hand and then it sort of happened almost accidentally. She realised it’s not so bad I guess but thereafter initially I would put her on but she asked me to leave . Hence why I think privacy might be a thing.

I’m having very similar problems.

Luckily school is a way off (September 25) wees are fine bar the occasional accident … poo is not fine. So following for advice

@Pinklilly he really doesn’t like the toilet, and would choose to use a potty even if he’s in the bathroom. The last few days he has asked to use it a couple of times so I’m hoping once he’s more comfortable on it this might help.

unfortunately he goes at any time of day so no specific time to put him on. And even if I can see that he’s about to go, if I put him on the toilet he just holds it in. But you are right, he’s even told me to turn around or leave the room when he’s having wees recently so he likes his privacy

@VioletLilies my 3.5 year old is the same! He has been doing wees on the toilet/potty for 3 months now. He point blank refused to sit on the potty for a poo when a
Month ago he actually did 2 poos on the potty. Since then though he has refused again.
We know when he is doing one as he hides and tells us when he has done it.
He has a food intolerance and struggles with runny poo so we have kept him in pull
Uos as it would be a night mare to be in pants!
I'm fortunate he isn't starting school until next sept so I know we have time, he is big for his age and I get funny looks at times going into
Baby changing rooms with him!