Nearly 3yo deliberately wetting themselves

[Mumofoneldn]

Our dd turns 3 in a few weeks and has been potty trained for about 4 months, from just over 2 1/2. She would have the odd accident (more so at nursery when she’d apparently be busy playing and forget), but in the past couple of weeks the accidents have increased dramatically to several times a day. Mostly wees but also the odd poo.

We are always reminding her to use potty, but still she wets herself, She went and stood a couple of meters from her potty yesterday and pooed her pants. She knew she needed to go but deliberately did it in her pants and just said she wanted to. Today I asked if she needed to go to the loo (I knew she did) and she got angry and shouted ‘no’, 1 minute later she wet herself.

She’s an only child, so has lots of attention. 2 incidents recently happened when both my husband and I were playing with her, so definitely not a lack of attention. There have been no big (or even small!) changes at home or nursery. No issues we’re aware of at nursery. She’s an otherwise normal and happy girl. Her only reason she gives for wetting herself is that she wants to. Wet clothes don’t seem to bother her that much either. The only thing she has said is that she doesn’t want to wear a nappy as she’s not a baby.

We’re so confused and as we can’t work out the root cause, we don’t know how to tackle it. Star charts and even the promise of chocolate, which for her is a real treat, did nothing to help.

Any thoughts or advice welcome!

Grandmother here......she sounds like she is enjoying the power she feels from choosing to do this. I would just clean her up when this happens without one word or facial expression. Give her attention and maybe a small reward when she uses the potty. This too shall pass,

Definitely this!

Either what @mirro said or she has some discomfort from a uti or constipation and she is thinking by not getting on the poetry she can avoid the pain but then can't hold it in?

Our daughter went through a couple of regressions after potty training - it was very frustrating! We spoke to her key worker and they said it's pretty normal, don't make a fuss, as others have said praise when she does use the toilet. You have my sympathy though, especially when you think you're past the accident stage!

Thanks. It’s so hard. She knows how to use the potty and was doing so well, so it’s super frustrating especially with no obvious trigger.