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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Original poster

Does Oh Crap work on >3s …?

29 replies

whatahun · 28/12/2023 17:39

My son is 3.3 months old and “typical” boy…very physically active, behind on speech and stubborn! (Also very sweet and lovely)

We moved abroad 8 months ago and then had another baby, so it didn’t feel right to potty train before 3. I also felt he didn’t have the cognitive or communication skills to understand the concept. I’m regretting this now…

On day 5 of Oh Crap block one and we’re getting nowhere. We had one day of self initiated potty wees (I’m guessing it was the novelty) but it continues to be a very mixed bag with mainly failures. He hops like crazy withholding wees or poos until I get him to the potty. I’ve bought seats and a step for the toilet to see if that helps. And rest assured tried every bribe under the sun! I feel quite sure it’s a psychological block rather than a physical one.

does Oh Crap work for >3s? Should I stick block one out another few days? Or any other method you recommend for older children? He’s had the potty for a year so I don’t think a gradual approach will work for this one!

I’m sure advice will be he isn’t ready, but as we’re 5 days in I want to persevere…
Thank you!

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Summermeadowflowers · 28/12/2023 17:42

I can’t answer your question but I’m having similar struggles with my just turned three year old. I’ve actually run out of clean trousers for him today, to give an idea how it’s going! I think I’m going to have to contact a GP on Tuesday, I really don’t know what else to do.

Smerk · 28/12/2023 17:46

In Oh Crap the author explains it's much more difficult before 20 months and after 30 months.

mummyh2016 · 28/12/2023 17:47

I followed it just after my DD turned 3 and worked for us. She was dry within 4 days.

Summermeadowflowers · 28/12/2023 17:52

@Smerk - I know, but realistically DS just wouldn’t have been anything like ready this time last year. 30 months was June for us and I was eight months pregnant and barely able to walk. Sometimes, life gets in the way. To be honest, no one in ‘real life’ I know has used this method (to my knowledge anyway) their children all just seems to train themselves pretty much at around two and a half!

I am trying not to be frustrated but it’s hard, especially as he’s just peed all over his baby sisters Christmas present Sad

KatieKat88 · 28/12/2023 18:00

Summermeadowflowers · 28/12/2023 17:42

I can’t answer your question but I’m having similar struggles with my just turned three year old. I’ve actually run out of clean trousers for him today, to give an idea how it’s going! I think I’m going to have to contact a GP on Tuesday, I really don’t know what else to do.

Maybe contact your health visitor first? A GP won't do anything at this point, it's not likely a medical issue, more a behavioural one (not poor behaviour, just that it's a new behaviour that needs to be learnt!)

GHSP · 28/12/2023 18:05

Just calmly persevere. ‘Oops, that was meant to go in the loo. You’ll get it soon because you’re a big boy’. Don’t show any signs that you’re not confident he’ll get it. And he will get it.

Summermeadowflowers · 28/12/2023 18:06

Thanks. I can ask but I generally find HVs always say the same things and it isn’t anything you can’t find out yourself online.

I have just run out of clean clothes for him 🤦🏼‍♀️ so I think maybe I need to just give up. I don’t really know when and how I’ll be able to face starting again though!

Summermeadowflowers · 28/12/2023 18:06

GHSP · 28/12/2023 18:05

Just calmly persevere. ‘Oops, that was meant to go in the loo. You’ll get it soon because you’re a big boy’. Don’t show any signs that you’re not confident he’ll get it. And he will get it.

When would you expect to see them getting it?

Themostimportantpartis · 28/12/2023 18:07

Mine wasn’t ready at that age. Leave it a month and try again.

Notmetoo · 28/12/2023 18:10

Summermeadowflowers · 28/12/2023 17:42

I can’t answer your question but I’m having similar struggles with my just turned three year old. I’ve actually run out of clean trousers for him today, to give an idea how it’s going! I think I’m going to have to contact a GP on Tuesday, I really don’t know what else to do.

You really don't need to contact your GP!
He is only 3 give him time. Some children just seem to potty train themselves but most take longer. Be patient and accept you will have lots of accidents or wait a little while until he seems ready and start again.

Smerk · 28/12/2023 18:12

So what stage are you at? If it hasn't clicked then I guess you haven't introduced trousers yet?

Summermeadowflowers · 28/12/2023 18:12

@Notmetoo i am trying not to overreact but it is worrying me I must admit. I really, really don’t want to go back to nappies (I know I may have no choice ultimately) but I do think we need some additional support from somewhere.

Does Supernanny do potty training? Smile

A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 · 28/12/2023 18:15

I would maybe try a different method. Like a PP says, Oh Crap is for ideally 18-30 months. We've been doing it for four days with our 22 month old and have maybe had maybe one accident yesterday and today.

My sister trained hers later and had more success with reward charts, food bribes, stamps on arms etc. And an actual toddler toilet seat on the bathroom rather than a potty. I don't know if she followed any specific method but it clicked within a couple of weeks

Autumn1990 · 28/12/2023 18:17

Are you taking him frequently to the potty?
I’m training my second and we’ve had numerous goes and it’s not really happened but we went cold Turkey on nappies on Christmas Eve and it’s slow progress and I actually have to pot them but it is improving. It’s the not recognising when they need to go that’s our issue.
It took ages with my first ( speech delays ) and I resorted to setting the cooking timer for about an hour and a half and that seemed to work.
I know people say leave them a bit longer but not always possible with summer borns and a September school start.

Summermeadowflowers · 28/12/2023 18:20

That’s what I’ve been doing with mine @Autumn1990 and it seemed to be sort of working but today has been ridiculous! Edited to add - no idea how to manage poos.

EmmaOvary · 28/12/2023 18:22

Oh Crap didn’t work for me. I almost threw the book out of the window. My DS is very headstrong and the more we tried, the less it worked. It eventually did when we sort of gave up.

WYorkshireRose · 28/12/2023 18:23

I'd forget the books altogether and just go with what feels right. DS was just 3 before he successfully trained, and preferred standing for wees from the start. He also had a Pourty seat for the toilet, which he preferred to the ones that just sit loosely on the top, as it felt more secure I guess. We also had a sticker chart with treats/bribes for successes in the first few weeks. After that he stopped asking and we quietly got rid of them. Never had an accident since.

Summermeadowflowers · 28/12/2023 18:31

EmmaOvary · 28/12/2023 18:22

Oh Crap didn’t work for me. I almost threw the book out of the window. My DS is very headstrong and the more we tried, the less it worked. It eventually did when we sort of gave up.

Mine is also strong willed (although I can think of other phrases after this week!)

Its beyond frustrating as he can hold his wee but just doesn’t always bother, doesn’t tell you he wants a wee and poo - well, where do I even start?

chrisntmas · 28/12/2023 18:32

Summermeadowflowers · 28/12/2023 17:52

@Smerk - I know, but realistically DS just wouldn’t have been anything like ready this time last year. 30 months was June for us and I was eight months pregnant and barely able to walk. Sometimes, life gets in the way. To be honest, no one in ‘real life’ I know has used this method (to my knowledge anyway) their children all just seems to train themselves pretty much at around two and a half!

I am trying not to be frustrated but it’s hard, especially as he’s just peed all over his baby sisters Christmas present Sad

I know loads of people that used that method. It's popular for a reason

chrisntmas · 28/12/2023 18:33

EmmaOvary · 28/12/2023 18:22

Oh Crap didn’t work for me. I almost threw the book out of the window. My DS is very headstrong and the more we tried, the less it worked. It eventually did when we sort of gave up.

The book explains this too. You're not meant to keep asking them, you're meant to 'give up' and just be vigilant and move them to the potty when you can see they need to go

Gusti · 28/12/2023 18:34

You've got to just keep going and expand your time frame. He needs to crack it and so do you. It's a process and a slow one for most kids. I think you've got unrealistic expectations. How behind on speech is he? Does he understand you?

Summermeadowflowers · 28/12/2023 18:40

I wasn’t doubting that they did @chrisntmas but my point is there must be other ways and methods. It’s a bit like baby led weaning, it just isn’t always for everybody.

Thinkbiglittleone · 28/12/2023 18:41

Yes the book worked for us at 22 months ( with a very headstrong boy) he was done and reliable in 7 days. We were also done at night a month later.

My friend also used the book and it worked for her DS. Hers was slightly longer as she didn't whole heartedly trust its methods so didn't follow it properly to begin with, but she followed it, he nailed it in about 2.5 weeks, but as soon as she followed it properly it was 10 days.

Autumn1990 · 28/12/2023 19:19

My eldest liked to pop in the bath so once that had happened a couple of times when I spotted the signs they were lifted out on to the potty. Also liked to go in the garden as it was summer.
A friend had a child that asked for the nappy just to poo in even after they were trained for wees.
Youngest is just getting the idea of poo in potty mainly because they get nappy rash really easily and I’ve be saying that’s because poo is in nappy.
It’s a combination of getting the timing right so they are put on the potty to try when they normally poo and being able to control their body to poo sitting down rather than stood up hiding behind the sofa.

cadburyegg · 28/12/2023 20:20

I used the oh crap method loosely when mine were 3y 3m or thereabouts. Told them a few days in advance that there would be no more nappies from X day, that nappies were for babies and would only be worn at night from now on. There was no negotiation or arguments, that they were free to run around naked unless they really wanted to put pants on. We didn't go out for a few days at least. Any wees or poos were to go in the potty or toilet (mine liked the potty until they were a bit older but some kids go straight to the toilet). If they peed on the floor then I would help them clean it up, if they happened to be wearing clothes I would help them take their clothes off and they'd go straight in the washing machine.

It was hard work with ds1, lots of washing for about 3 days and it took about a week before I felt he'd "got it" - he still had accidents but I knew he had got the hang of it. Ds2 got it a lot quicker, was helped that he had a big brother to copy and it just happened we had a heatwave that week so he ran around half naked in the garden for most of it.

But both times I resigned myself that this would be my life for a few days, didn't make many plans. With ds1 I was already on maternity leave with ds2. With ds2 I'd booked the week off for a half term anyway so it killed 2 birds with 1 stone. I think a lot of people make the mistake of just carrying on with their usual routine and going out etc, or being inconsistent and putting nappies on if granny comes over or for car journeys etc, but like I said, what worked for us was to stay at home for a few days - at least with the child who is potty training (I did take ds1 out to the cinema and left ds2 with my mum on day 5 or so cos he was getting the hang of it by then) - and get rid of nappies cold turkey.

If neither of them had got the hang of it or weren't improving after a week I would have put them back in nappies and tried again a couple of months later. And in fact ds1 got it on the second try, I had tried with him when he was 2y 10m or thereabouts and did give up after about 5 days because he hadn't made any progress at all.

With ds1 I had to make sure we were never far from a toilet for about 6 months afterwards but tbh with small kids that does become the norm 😆