A few potty training questions

[suzi2]

DS (2.7) started training last week. He was reluctant, but very capable I believed. The first few days went really well with few accidents and him asking for the potty. But the last couple of days he's been wetting. He holds for hours and even if I prompt him or try to get him to sit on the potty he insists he doesn't need. 2 mins later he dribbles a bit, shouts for potty and if we're not fast enough he's wet. Poos are a huge issue in this house (no idea why) and are done in his nappy in complete privacy.

Questions... I can't decide whether I shoul be prompting him to go to the potty, putting him on the potty or just letting him ask and wet if he does.

If he thinks he might need a poo he gets enormously distressed about not being in a nappy. we've had a couple of teeny poos in the potty when he's really HAD to go and one in his pants. But the rest of the time he's held on for his nighttime nappy and even done it and slept with it! Should we just not worry about this for now? Or push it a bit more.

He shows no interest in managing his own clothes, going on the big toilet or doing things like washing his hands. Again, should we tackle them when he's a bit further on?

With my daughter, i tried potty training at about 2.8 and she was not ready and just refused.
So i left it a while and then a couple of weeks ago when she was 3.3 she basically decided one day that she did not want the nappies or the pull-ups and has been asking to go to the toilet and usually manages to get there without any incidents.
Sometimes she does wet herself just by the toilet, but at least that is lino and not carpet.
I found that with my DD1, it was best to wait until they were ready, less tears and tantrums on both sides.
Just give lots of praise and ignore the messes.
AB

I have three children who trained just fine, but my fourth is a "resistor". She is four years old (but was prem - so developmentally about 3.6) and capable (when I found the right motivation she was able to produce at will) but she just does not want to go on the potty. POOS are the particular problem. She has never once said I need the potty, a wee or a poo or anything. She does a wee when I ask her to sit on the pot, but never a poo.

I found an advice page that said just make it her responsibility and give plenty of rewards, don't tell her to go, just stop discussing it completely. That worked for about 36 hours. Now she is back to pooing in her pants every time and because she doesn't really want to go, she does a little bit at a time. I don't get cross with her (though it is EXTREMELY frustrating!) I just tell her we have it's her responsibility. I've tried all kinds of tales of the "poos really want to be in the toilet", "you have to race the poo so it goes in the potty and then you're the winner", plus cheers and cuddles, sticker charts, candy, swimming trips, Peppa pig viewing...tried ignoring it (can't do that for long with a poo - but just picking her up, cleaning her up without a word). I am really at a total loss and it's an embarrassment too. When she goes to play with friends I have no idea when she might poop. Plus because she resists she is not clearing her bowel properly. Little bits at a time - self induced constipation. Any ideas?? Thanks
Sarah

Boys are often later with this. Personally I don't see the point in pushing when they don't seem willing/ready. We spent a long time just having the potty in DS's room and using it as part of bedtime/getting dressed routine, but not expecting much.
Good luck