Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Flip

Original poster

Nearly 3 year old won’t poo in toilet

17 replies

Hiraeth20 · 22/09/2023 06:31

We’ve been potty training for almost 6 months now and I need some advice.

We are having a really difficult time encouraging my DS to poo on the toilet. If we ask if he needs a poo he will say no, once he’s done a poo in his pants he is also really reluctant to get cleaned up saying he hasn’t done one. He’s the same in nursery, fine with wees but I think he’s only done 1 poo on the toilet there.

He does and can poo on the toilet so I know he can do it. We’ve tried encouraging him to go by letting him watch something on our phones and it does work but I don’t really like doing it. I think he gets so engrossed in his games, he then doesn’t want to stop playing to go to the toilet.

Does anyone have any advice? If we ask him to sit on the toilet to try for a poo he will have a tantrum and then obviously we can’t force him.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

DustyLee123 · 22/09/2023 07:21

Will he poo on the potty ?

Inmyonesie · 22/09/2023 07:27

My youngest would only poo on the potty for ages. He was toilet trained just after his 3rd birthday and it was a good 6-8 months before he’d poo on the toilet. I wouldn’t push it, he will do it eventually and it may give him toilet anxiety. See if he will use a potty or toddler seat for toilet and gently ask him about toilet every now and then. If he is still pooing in his pants then I’m out of ideas, except reminding him to use potty/toilet! Good luck

Flubadubba · 22/09/2023 07:45

There's a free NHS app called Poo goes to pooland. It's pretty basic, but really effective at taking the fear out. My daughter loved it.

Bringonthesunforthewashing · 22/09/2023 07:52

my daughter was exactly the same as your son.

I said to her that if she poo’d on the toilet I could do a magic trick (because I am friends with the fairies), that I could turn the colour of the water whatever colour she wanted. She was very excited to try it.

she did a poo, turned around while I said the special words (armed with an array of food colouring hidden), hey presto, mummy is magic and she was amazed.

No problem after that as by the time she was bored in a couple of weeks she was fine using the toilet

longwayoff · 22/09/2023 07:58

Little kids see a big scary void that they feel they may fall into and be swallowed up when it makes the even more scary noise at the end. Help him OP. Reassurance required.

Original poster

Hiraeth20 · 22/09/2023 07:58

@DustyLee123 we started with the potty but he’s quite a big boy so we found that it wasn’t necessarily big enough for his bum so we put it away and have been encouraging him to use the toilet with a seat on but maybe I’ll try and find a different one with something he’s interested in on and see if that entices him. Thank you

OP posts:

DustyLee123 · 22/09/2023 07:59

Putting loo roll down the toilet first stops the splash back and plop that they don’t like.

Fab973 · 22/09/2023 08:01

The ikea potty is amazing and feels more like a mini toilet or for £30 hour can buy a potty that looks like a toilet. I’d also recommend getting a baby toilet seat that you attach and put down on the loo when they need to so as they can sit and relax without holding on and when they are done flip it back up, it attaches to the adult toilet and is far better
.

Original poster

Hiraeth20 · 22/09/2023 08:02

@longwayoff he does go on the toilet but only when he wants to, some days he will happily have a poo and let us sit and read a book whilst he’s doing it. I think it’s more to do with having to drag himself away from his games, way easier to just do it there and then and he can continue what he’s doing. I’ve even tried making a game out of it and trying to move the game to the bathroom but he cottons on to that too. So it’s either that or he has absolutely no idea when he needs to go and when he has gone but I don’t believe it’s that because he used to tell us he’d done a poo when he was in nappies.

OP posts:

jannier · 22/09/2023 08:03

The ERIC website has useful sections on all areas of potty training including pooh withholding. It's a continience charity. Lots of people have success with pooh goes to Poohland.

Has he had any history of Constipation?

Original poster

Hiraeth20 · 22/09/2023 08:09

@Inmyonesie thank you, I am worried it’s becoming a bit of a battle. On one hand if I ask him if he needs the toilet and he says no I want him to feel heard and that he can trust his body but on the other hand he’s pooing in his pants multiple times a day so he’s obviously not quite there yet.

OP posts:

Original poster

Hiraeth20 · 22/09/2023 08:12

@jannier thank you, I’ll definitely try poo goes to pooland. No, quite the opposite. He goes often, at least twice a day. I have wondered if part of the problem is the lack of “effort” (for lack of a better word) it takes for him to have a poo means he’s not always aware when he needs one.

OP posts:

Floofsquidge · 22/09/2023 08:17

One of the things that clicked for my son was a small bag of toys that only live in the toilet that he can only play with when he's doing a toilet sit. That made him look forward to it. That and poo reward jar (fill the jar, get a toy)

Flubadubba · 22/09/2023 08:23

The other tip we were given was playing. Put food colouring down the loo together, and flush it down. Watch it, talk about it and relate it to bodily functions.

TryAgainAnotherDay · 22/09/2023 08:34

Another one here with success after poo goes to poo land app.

Awumminnscotland · 22/09/2023 09:05

Hiraeth20 · 22/09/2023 08:12

Not necessarily the case ,but it's worth considering if he's actually 'backed up' poo wise, which is why he goes with little effort. With stool withholding it can seem like there's no constipation but the bowel may be completely stuffed so to speak so it's not as elastic as it should be and, therefore, the brain is not getting the messages that the bowel needs to empty until its too late.
It may be worth chatting to hv if you feel the problem is persistent. Its a very common problem. The tips about rewards and supportive toilet seats are all good but if it doesn't improve it may be more of a long haul plan you need and it may not be a quick fix.
Some tips that helped along the way...
A toilet seat so he can put his feet on and one with steps and handles
Plenty of water/fluid in any form ( really hard sometimes but definitely helps)
Praise effort/actually just sitting on the toilet
Making it part of his routine..we have "poo face and teeth" morning and night . This was the biggest thing that helped over time. Praise for just sitting to begin with, the rest will come.
If you feel he may be backed up he will need a clear out with movicol and possibly maintenance doses until he's in a good routine and practice.
This all may not be the case but is worth considering earlier rather than later in my experience. Rewards didn't and still don't work for us as the messages from brain to body are not clear. But everything is worth a try but needs to be given good consistence to work if it's going to.
Hope the above I'd not your case and you find a good rhythm soon.

Awumminnscotland · 22/09/2023 09:08

I see he's not yet 3. So above advice may be a bit premature but worth keeping in mind.

Flip