Why is this so stressful 😭 anyone else?

[SWMuma]

Hi all,

Not sure if I’m here posting for advice, guidance or just someone to reassure me I’m not alone in the potty training business! I feel like I just needed to get it out 🙈

We started potty training our little girl who’s 2years 7months a few days ago. This was following a couple of non starters which was basically me waking up and being like let’s do it today with no prior thought or prep! Neither attempt lasted longer than 24 hours. Recently she’s been showing interest and sitting herself and her teddies on the potty and also had sporadically over the last couple of months had some random wees on both the toilet and potty. We’ve read the signs and she’s ticks lots of boxes! So figure she’s ready!

We are currently on day 5 today. We aren’t following any strict method because I’ve honestly found it all pretty confusing so we decided to just go naked from the waste down, currently just prompting for the potty and just chat or read to her whilst she’s sat on it. We’ve so far stayed at home inside and in the garden.
We don’t give treats or rewards at present as we read so many mixed messages regarding this.

To summarise so far:

Day 1 wee on floor ++++ 1 x wee on potty lots of panicking and confusion.

Day 2: 2 wees on potty 1 x poo on floor. Lots of holding onto wee so didn’t do the first until about 2pm 😢

Day 3: 1 wee on potty, 2 wees on floor

Day 4: 2 wees on potty, 2 on floor! Half a poo next to potty.

Day 5(today) 2x poo stood over the potty refused to actually sit down until the poo had fallen into potty? 2 x half wees - half on floor and moved to finish on potty.

I don’t feel at current we are moving forward at all and worried I’m stressing her out. Sometimes she’s super happy to go onto the potty and others she just seems really distressed. For example If she starts a wee on the floor she just screams in panic and as much reassurance as calm as we give she just screams and goes totally rigid and it takes a while to then talk her down to sit on the potty to finish? All potty success have been prompted by us. Is this normal or should they be actively doing it by themselves?

Good note she makes it very very obvious when she needs to wee so at least we have this which makes prompting mostly easy.

Questions:
How do you know when it’s clicked?
When is it safe to go out?
How long should you try before you admit defeat?
Is it best to follow a stricter method/plan for success?

I feel like this whole process is super stressful and I’m really worried I’m doing the wrong thing and will stress my DD! My eldest trained at 2 and was done and dusted in 2 days 😅 I also feel like her behaviours been pretty bad since we started but I think that’s because she hates being indoors 😭

Any advice/tips would be amazing! Or if anyone fancies a chat who’s also in the same boat I’d love that so much!

The nappy-free method just doesn't work for all kids. My dd found accidents stressful and embarrassing, even when it was just me and dh at home and we never acted shocked or annoyed.

We kept the nappies on for a while and just pulled them down for wees and poos, gradually increasing the no. of potty visits per day. Then nappies only when in the car or at night.

Slow and steady wins the race- the whole process took maybe 3 months but we were still fully trained before 2.5y.

The do-it-all-in-a-week, nappies have been taken away by a fairy, method just doesn't work for all kids.

Mine was quite like this though potty training took quite some time due to ASD and SLD, non verbal and no communication at time. I decided to try getting a toilet seat with a child attachment instead and she took to that a hell of a lot quicker.

Mine showed no interest until now at 3 and half and we're now 2 weeks into it. There have been no wee accidents after day 1 but she really struggles with doing a poo so is withholding but is now getting better. We have taken her out and she's been fine. I think some children just prefer to wait until older and then it clicks a bit quicker so she may just not be ready yet.

Both of mine I have waited until they were ready and interested. Son did it really fast and had no accidents at 3 yrs 7 months and we are currently potty training our girl at 3 years 3 months just as she is going to start nursery. So far no accidents and she asks when she needs the potty.

Maybe wait a little.

Day 5? It's very very very early days

Throw away expectations and don't compare them to others

For me it was a long hard slog. With hindsight, I should never have tried

But be gentle and consistent in your approach and don't expect much

For me, poos clicked after about a week and wees took years

Never have tried so hard at a young age

Potty training needs time and patience for many children! Toddlers have been in nappies from birth, it's all they've ever known, and then we expect them to be potty trained within days. There are even books about potty training in 5 days etc.
Why do we put so much pressure on children to be potty trained and accident free within days?

It's perfectly fine to start potty training at just over 2 years, you haven't started too early. But you need to be patient, it's not necessarily going to work within a week. As with many other things (sleeping through, eating a wide variety of foods, remembering to say please and thank you...) children need time to get it right. And just because they don't get it right immediately doesn't mean you've started too early, it just means you need to be patient.

We're new into our potty training journey too. Think we're day 4.

We had two days at home then DS is on day 2 at the childminder. We've had many wees on the potty/toilet but no poo yet. Usually wait for his nappy but also had 2 accidents.

We're keeping it fun and light hearted. Luckily little one loves the attention when he does it on the potty. Lots of claps and excitement.

I have a travel potty for when we go out.

I listened to a podcast called Oh Crap potty training. Some great tips on there so worth a listen.

How are you getting on OP?
Ive been having a frustrating time trying with my DS 2y11m. We have had a few false starts, yesterday he seemed very interested and had 2 wees on potty and none on floor in the afternoon. Then this morning not keen to put pants on, accident on sofa and then wanting nappy back on- I have done this as he was getting upset. Obviously very early days but not sure whether to persevere or not.

My eldest was nearly 3.5y and was dry in the day within 2 days with very few accidents. We need to get sorted here before January as he will start pre school. I’m so bored of being in the house already!