Help! Nearly 3yo DD refusing to use potty

[NameChange30]

DD will sit on the potty but won't wee on it. She is capable of doing it but says she doesn't want to because it hurts. I've asked if it hurts when she wees in her nappy and she says no.

We first started potty training a couple of months ago - it was late I guess but she hadn't shown much interest and we were busy and lazy. (I'm regretting it now!) Then when we did start, it was really unlucky, because I hadn't realised she was a bit constipated, and she did a poo on the potty but it was very painful, so she was very upset and understandably didn't want to use the potty again. So we took the pressure off completely, back to nappies, gave her movicol to sort the constipation, etc.

Now we are trying again, as the constipation has been under control for a while. We tried a sticker reward chart but it didn't work very well (she just wanted to stick all the stickers everywhere). In the end we resorted to bribery with a small sweet for every wee on the potty. There was one day when she did lots of wees on the potty - tiny amounts at first but gradually a bit more. But since then she just doesn't want to sit on it. I can persuade her by reading or playing games with her but she won't wee. She clearly withholds wees until she has a nappy one (we are still using a pull up for nighttime and naps).

Any advice? It's so frustrating and difficult to know what to do. I guess we shouldn't push her but she really should we using a potty now.

Both of mine (DS and DD) didn't properly potty train until 3 1/2. With DS I tried to force it sooner so he was out of nappies before his sister arrived. He point blank refused. It was a battle. When baby arrived, I gave up and put him back into nappies. A few months later he woke up and declared he wanted pants and that was it. He just needed to do it in his own time. So with DD I didn't force the issue, just let her lead on when she was ready. So much more stress free. Wish I had done it sooner.

Does your DD go to nursery? I think it helps when she sees her friends using the potty/ toilet at nursery. She'll need to want to go. I would give it a break and try again in a month or two.

Is there a reason she needs to use a potty now? If not, I'd leave it for a while and try again in a few months or she might decide to do it herself.

My DD was almost 3 when she wanted to stop wearing nappies. An incident at nursery put her off and so we went back to nappies for a couple of months. She asked to try again and we had no issues. We might've been lucky but there's no way we can make my DD do something she doesn't want to do so it was easier all round.

Maybe take the pressure off yourself for a bit and try again later. Good luck 🍀

What about the loo? Ours hated the potty and went straight to the loo. They had a special toilet seat and a step!

(Both step and children's loo seat was from IKEA!)

Does she mean it's uncomfortable to sit on the potty rather than in hurts? Have you tried another potty, different style or shape?
Also, there is literally no rush to potty train. It will happen when she is ready.

Thanks all.

Dinner, yes she goes to nursery and they have been getting her to use the toilet/potty for ages (I think she prefers the little toddler toilets).

AllFades no real reason except that I think she is capable of doing it - she can clearly control her bladder - so it's frustrating that she doesn't want to.

Flipflop, good question - maybe she does find the potty uncomfortable to sit on. We have different options: a Pourty potty downstairs (which we could take out and about but don't bother as she refuses to use it), a Pourty seat for the downstairs loo, and a Bumbo potty upstairs - the seat seems comfy and it can be used on the toilet, too. I've offered all the options but she is not keen on any, sadly!

I guess you're all right and we need to take the pressure off ourselves and her, go back to nappies and try again in a bit. It's just such a pain, we are well and truly over nappies now! (She is DC2.)