3 year old hysterical at attempts to potty train

[rlew]

Our very bright and articulate 3 year old still isn't potty trained and I am close to having a breakdown about it.
She has a history of constipation and then withholding due to painful poos. She's on daily laxatives.
We have had a potty and all the books, toys etc since she was almost 2. We have tried taking nappies away twice but only last a couple of days because she just cries and cries hysterically for a nappy, and holds her urine until she's in a nappy.
I am sooo lost at what to do. I know there's the school of thinking which says "take the nappies away and don't look back" but is it really normal for them to be that upset by it all? She will sit on the potty and toilet now (after months of encouragement) but as soon as she needs a wee or poo, wants a nappy on. I worry that each attempt has just traumatised her, but then worry that not forcing her to do it is just making it worse. Help!

ERIC are very good and offer lots of resources, have you checked them out?

My daughter could have written this post word for word! Shall look up ERIC. It really has become a problem.

I have no advice I'm afraid but just wanted to say we are in exactly the same situation 😢 we keep being told by professionals she's just not ready, have a break and try again but she has just turned 4 last week and I'm getting so so worried and stressed with it all. I feel like we have literally tried everything.

My daughter just finally toilet trained at age 4 turning 5. She tended to only go number 2 at home which may things easier. She wore pull ups even at nursery. She toilet trained practically over night and we've had no accidents. Point being, its annoying and distressing but just give it a little bit more time.

What does she say when you talk to her about it? Have you encouraged her, talked to her about starting next week as she is a big girl now?

in the same boat with our 3.5yo. he had a couple of accidents at 2.5yo when he seemed ready to potty train and after that basically refused to go without a nappy and trousers. Won't tolerate nappy free time, even in the garden or beach. He will sit on the potty at the childminders but rarely at home. He was in cloth until about 3yo (so much for cloth nappies helping early potty training!) and now he's in pullups which did help independence wise but didn't have the overall effect we'd hoped for. Sorry no advice but solidarity.

Stop trying for a few weeks then try again.

Eating, sleeping and potty training are the only things a child can control themselves in a world where we control everything else.

They will literally do it overnight when they're ready.

Take the pressure off both yourself and your little one!

Hi, I was wondering how this ended up going in the end? We are in the same situation with our 3.3year old. She is hysterical when she needs a wee and doesn’t have a nappy on. Not sure what to do as have tried everything. And I really know what you mean with the feeling of it not being normal then being THAT distressed. Hopefully you see this as I know you posted a while ago!

I would also love to know how you got on OP!