Potty training not clicking but won't wear nappies

[MissCantDecide]

DS is 2.2 and, for the best part of the last year, has hated having a nappy put on - not even standing, we even have to hold him between DH and I sometimes, or let him watch the tv while we do it...

He's shown all the signs for a few months, except for showing interest (which I asumed was the most important one). However, in the past month he started sitting on the potty and talking about his friends at nursery who used the potty. Last weekend I asked him if he also wanted to use the potty and he said yes, so thought let's give it a go in the weekend in case it works. No big expectations.

First two days went great, he went several times by himself, both for pee and poo. He even let us know when it wasn't poo "just a stinkie!". He can hold it for up to 3-4 hours, doesn't go during his nap and has even had some dry nights during this time.

However, it's been over a week and we haven't seen any progress. In nursery he happily goes to the potty but doesn't do anything, and will then go in his nap nappy. At home he does great with some reminders, but outside he will pee himself, even minutes after asking him if he needs to go.

I know he is still very young and I would happily go back to nappies - except for the fact that every change is a battle. Also the fact that he does well at home and can hold for long makes me think that he is indeed ready.

What should I do?

Thanks!!

Today in nursery he had a poo accident and then a pee in the potty - not sure that's progress!

Personally if he hates nappies I would persevere, you’ll get there. It might just take a few weeks but he will click if you’re consistent. Try and get him on the potty at intervals so that he learns the “letting go” feeling as once he’s got that he’ll be able to go “on demand” at nursery and will then work towards asking there.

Thanks @Belltentdreamer - we're seeing some progress at nursery as he's gone to the potty there the past two days, yesterday he even told his key worker that he needed to pee before marching to the potty!

Whenever we're outside though it's another matter. I don't really mind, it's just all this tall of it clicking in a few days "if they're ready" that has me worried...

All this *talk

I read that in the early stage you never ask “do you need to wee?” Because they always say no. Either because they don’t want to stop playing, or because they can’t recognise that they need a wee until the very last minute.

When you think it’s nearly time that they will need to wee (or you are about to go out, bed time etc), you say “it’s time to sit on the potty now/ potty time in 5 minutes”. (Tell them they are going to, don’t ask if they want to).

Or if you’re out, you just take them to the toilet.

We started potty training about 3 weeks ago and we’re in the tricky stage where sometimes DS will say himself that he needs to go, but sometimes he won’t. So it’s a delicate balance between not insisting that he sit on the potty too often, because we want him to learn to be proactive, but also not leaving it too late.

@Hazelnuttella that's a good point, his answers are completely unreliable 😂

However we do take him and he won't do anything, then maybe 5 minutes later he goes. He is very stubborn so I feel like he just doesn't go because we told him to...

Today he had an accident at nursery but then had a great afternoon and evening taking himself to the potty. Whenever I feel like just going back to nappies he then has several successes and makes me doubt again...

Great you’re seeing some success! Having been a Nanny and now childminder (as well as having two of my own) I have seen a fair few children potty train and I think if your seeing any type of success and progression it’s great. Especially when training on the younger side. It can happen when it does just click but for most there will be a couple weeks/ months of adjustment and I think it’s so worth sticking with it.
Hope he has another good day today.

Try pull ups.

Definitely don't try pull ups!!
Try him without pants for a month. This will help break the link between being covered and pee/poo being contained. Have you noticed any signs he makes when he needs the toilet? They all do, it can just be tricky to spot. Once you see it, that lets you say - you need the toilet. I usually offer a choice - do you want to go in the potty or the toilet/first or second?
It's also perfectly ok to need prompting. My book said it's similar to walking. At first, they needed your hand constantly, then they could do it at home but needed help out and about, then in tricky or new places and now they're fine. The prompting will lesson if you are consistent.

He is very stubborn so I feel like he just doesn't go because we told him to...

Sometimes, to avoid the conflict bit, I just do a prompt so it’s fresh in his mind: “remember when you feel you need to wee, go to the potty. You tell me when it’s time”.

And then lots of praise when he’s successful - wow, you told me yourself it was potty time!

We have had days with lots of accidents too, usually when he’s tired/emotional.

We've had our first full dry and clean day, along with finally getting him to pee outside! So I guess he is getting it, just little by little.

I'm expecting a complete mess tomorrow just to keep us on our toes though!

Thank you for all your sugestions - to be honest I was expecting everyone to say he was not ready and we should wait...

Another vote for keeping him out of nappies altogether. I had been putting my little one in a nappy occasionally while we were on a train or in the supermarket, for my own peace of mind and convenience, but it set her back by a few days and she only cracked it when I took away that safety net. Probably 2 accidents out of the house and she learned to hold it after that.
Travel potties like the Potette are very handy.