failed potty training

[chummydazzy]

I started the three days potty training around march and my son was responding well, except for a few accidents. I had to break the cycle because of work and hubby wont join in. had to continue with diapers when he was complaining about messing up the rug with wee. Sometimes he can go to the potty when he wants to poo or poo in his diapers and pull it immediately. Now seems like we are back to where we started. My son son can string sentences together and I feel he is at the stage where he can speak up when he wants to wee but how do I do this potty training considering my husband is more concerned about the rugs?

How old is he? When does your DH think you should do it? Or is he just not engaging at all? DP and I took half a week off each so we had a 9 day stretch (including the weekends) before DS1 was back in nursery, and that seemed enough time for him to crack it. I wouldn't have been able to handle doing it solo while DP made snide remarks.

Do you have a garden? We timed trying with DS1 for when we could mainly be outside. And can the rugs be moved? What floor do you have underneath? We had a living room covered with towels.

He’s 2years 4 months. Unfortunately we don’t have a garden and the whole house is rugged and can’t be moved except for the kitchen and bathroom. Hubs feels son is not ready for potty training. Like you said it’s not a one persons job. I don’t know how to convince him cos there’s never a right time especially when we are far away from family. My mum would have gladly done it and brought him back fully potty trained.lol

2y4m isn’t dramatically early, but most people I know with boys did do it a bit later. You’ve got time if you wanted to wait. But the crucial thing I think here is that you can’t confuse your son by doing it and then reverting back. Can’t have nappies on, then off, potty sometimes available and sometimes not. If your husband doesn’t want to do it yet but is likely to help you later down the line then just wait for him? If he isn’t likely to help you at all then he doesn’t really get a say, you’ll have to crack on solo.

My son wasn't ready until almost 4 - sounds like your son isn't ready. Leave it a few months and then come back to it.

Does he go to nursery? I found it helpful to have a chat with DS1's keyworker when we were they thinking of trying (at around 2y3m) and she felt he wasn't showing signs of readiness at nursery. We held off until 2yr8m when quite a few of his class were potty trained and he was clearly interested, and honestly we succeeded but I think we should have waited a little longer for him to be more enthusiastically on board.

Thanks. I think I will just wait a little longer. Like you said I think he can be a bit confused with being on and off nappies. I guess I’m just anxious and want to get it done over with before he starts nursery and feel he’s too old to still be in nappies.

No. He doesn’t go to nursery yet. I will wait and try again later

I will wait and prepare my mind to do it solo later. Thanks

Based on what you’ve said I don’t see why you’d wait any longer tbh. If he’s often telling you when he needs needs to go and can sometimes make it to the potty for poo and has good communication then he sounds ready. The issues are not him, they are DH and the rugs. Presuming neither are going anywhere then really what’s to be gained by waiting because a child training will always have the odd accident? Get the rugs out of the main living space. Put DC in pants because they do absorb most of it compared to bare bummed and devote a week to it yourself.

Thanks. I’ll do just that.

The main issue is DH getting on board cos he will just water down my efforts and make me keep starting over and confusing my DS. unfortunately the rugs can’t be removed. What’s a DC by the way?. I will hold on a bit for now and see if I can get him onboard.I also need to find an alternative to removing the rugs cos soiling the rugs is his own concern tbh.

You’re going to run into this rug/DH issue whenever you decide to train. If they are ready then it should be fairly quick, especially if doing an intensive method like the 3 day one, but your DH has to realise that when they’re learning they will have accidents. No one gets something totally new instantly; it’s not fair on your toddler to expect otherwise and he is being completely obtuse not to realise this. It’s not uncommon for kids up to reception age to have the odd accident when absorbed with playing! Is there anyone in the family or any friends with older kids who can explain this to him? Or can you get him to read a book? I know she’s controversial but the Gina Ford potty training in one week is a short read, doesn’t suggest being naked and is quite specific about how many accidents to expect at each stage of training.

Then whenever you decide to try again I’d look at staying in the kitchen as much as possible. Also, cover the rugs with beach towels and maybe put your DS in the old fashioned fabric training pants (amazon sell them). They’re cotton underwear with extra layers on the crotch so contain accidents but unlike nappies or pull-ups they aren’t so absorbent that they don’t feel wet.

Good luck!

He’s absolutely fine to go to nursery in nappies if needs be.

I personally think 2.4 is quite young for a boy, obviously all kids are different but on average it’s young.

i would just leave it for now, you say you’re anxious to just “get it done” but it’s really down to whether he’s actually ready or not