4yr old not potty trained, help!

[wirette]

We have been trying to potty train my 4yr old for nearly 3 years now. She starts school in the summer and I'm at my wits end with it.

She was born just shy of 30 weeks gestation and has been delayed in everything. She has a speech therapist and is under ophthalmology, ent, and others.

We're at the stage where she asks constantly to go to the toilet, but she doesn't do anything when she's on there. She "pushes" (which looks more like Bruce Banner trying to Hulk out) and then says she's done. Then five minutes later her nappy is full. She will actively tell us when she is wet or when she has a "stinky bum". She definitely has the sensation of needing the toilet, but we're missing a trick somewhere and we can't figure out what. Can anyone advise please?

Take her nappy off her? It's a long time since I trained my two, but if you remove the opportunity for her to just use her nappy she might cotton on quickly?

I was going to say take her nappy off, have potty to hand, stay home, reward like mad..

But if she’s suffering from various delays I would also talk to the GP, I think this is about the age they will refer if it’s not happening

I am trying this with mine.. Gosh it's a disaster might be easier for OP because her child can say when she needs to go toilet

My eldest is autistic and only mastered toilet training a month before his 5th birthday (not through lack of trying!) I’m not suggesting your little one is neurodivergent but I’m wondering if there are any sensory problems making her feel scared about using the loo? My wee one didn’t like the sensation of the cold toilet seat for instance.

If she knows when she needs (my little one did too) then that is a big help. I’d be inclined to start off by having her sit on the toilet with the nappy on and do a pee/poop.. once she is happy with doing that then try undoing one side of the nappy then eventually both sides? Little steps in the right direction as it feels a lot different for them to poop in a nappy instead of on the toilet.

Health Visitor also suggested the poo land app for your phone? Might be worth a try also.

Good luck and please try not to stress too much, she will get there in her own time I promise ❤️ I thought mine would be in pull ups forever. X

I used chocolate buttons. One for a wee two for a poo in the potty.

She was very motivated by chocolate.

.

Apparently this was how I learned to walk. There was some warm (not red hot) hot chocolate in a mug on the side of a counter in a caravan when we were on holiday when I was a child. I decided I wanted it, so I got up and walked over for it.

Chocolate wins every time.