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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

3.5 year old won’t poo at nursery all of a sudden

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Fiddledeedeeee · 13/06/2023 15:42

My 3.5yr old DS has been dry during the day for just over a year. Still wet at night. Up until a few months ago he’d ‘go’ anywhere and was quite happy with either potty/ toilet/ toilet with seat, depending on where we were. He’s still happy to wee anywhere.

A couple of months ago I picked him up from nursery (the same one he’s attended since he was 12 mo and the same room he’s been in for the last 12 months ish) and they told me he’d been quiet for the last hour or so of the day, wanting to stay in the book corner on his own. He felt warm and sweaty but didn’t have a temp. When we got to the car he told me he needed a poo but didn’t want to do it there. I offered to take him back in but he said no, so I took him home where he did one no problem. Since then, there have been a couple of occasions when he’s soiled himself at nursery, all because he refuses to go.

Nursery have given him the option of potty, toilet , toilet with seat, toilet with cubicle door closed, door open, teacher with him, teacher outside cubicle etc but he just won’t go.

when we ask why, he can’t/ doesn’t articulate himself and just says ‘because I don’t want to do it at nursery’. He understands what words like shy, nervous, embarrassed etc mean, but just says ‘because I don’t’; if we suggest possible reasons he says it’s none of them (e.g. is it because you don’t you want a teacher to clean you/ because you don’t want anyone else to come in/ etc).

nursery can’t think of any reason why he’d suddenly stop either.

He’s happy to go at grandparents houses (when we as parents aren’t there), shops, friends houses. It’s just nursery.

Has anyone else had anything similar and if so has it resolved? Any tips on how we can make him feel comfortable again?

I know most of us prefer to go at home, but surely not at age 3, and I don’t understand the sudden change. I’m a bit concerned about this carrying on into school if we don’t resolve it 🥴

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