At my wit's end

[MooseBreath]

DS is 3. He was potty trained at 2y3m and did well until his brother was born 6 months ago. Then the regression from hell hit and after 4 months of wet trousers (upwards of 5 accidents per day), we took a step back and put DS in nappies again and just forgot the whole toilet thing.

2 weeks ago, we decided that it was time, as DS is 3 this month and is obviously capable because he did it in August. It is exactly the same as before.

I set a timer and take him to the toilet every 30 minutes without fail. He does a wee (however small) every single time. Yesterday we had 5 large accidents. It's 9am and we've already had an accident today.

When he has an accident, he could not care less. I make him change out of his wet clothes by himself and put them in the wash. I give praise when he stays dry. I remind him to use the toilet when he needs a wee after he's had an accident.

Where am I going wrong? I don't know why this is so difficult because he absolutely understands what needs to happen.

Please help!

You aren't doing anything wrong. Some kids just either don't get it fully or don't care enough. He will get there in the end but it might take time. You can go for one of two methods

1. Nappies until he decides he can do it
2. Patience and washing machine method

It could be a long ride my oldest was 7 when he was fully reliable. Youngest is better but still not perfect

Bribe him with chocolate

If he is going every 30 mins is he properly learning what it feels like to have a full bladder and needing to go? Does he perhaps feel like he doesn’t need to tell you/take himself there/do something about it because he has either just been or knows he will be going again in 15 mins… or perhaps he thinks it’s not the ‘right time’?

I’ve not personally used any kind of timer when potty training, it hasn’t seemed necessary, just wondering if this could be over complicating things? (I am no expert mind you, just had my own two DC!)

I’d possibly try and ditch the timer and go with the flow (pardon the pun) for a few days. Back to the start with pants off, potty nearby. We’ve got the right weather for it at the moment at least!!

It doesn't help you now but I think the mistake was putting him back in nappies.

Using the potty/toilet is inconvenient if you can just wee yourself/nappy.

I'd introduce a reward system for wee/poo in potty and days without accidents. Think about how you can maximise the inconvenience to him for accidents while also minimising the attention you give him when he has them.

Try to spend a lot of positive time with him focused not on potty training while he's relearning - if you have a DP then pick a long weekend when you're both about. If it isn't convenient right now then wait till it will fit better. the ERIC website has some good advice on.

Overall though the key thing is not to sweat it. Do you know any 12year olds who aren't potty trained?- that's because they all get there eventually.

I agree with pp - I'd stop using a timer, leave it completely up to him, and give chocolate for every success! This was the only thing I used chocolate bribery for btw!

This. And a sticker reward chart and a potty with his favourite characters on it! I'm sure some won't agree but it was bribe central in this house and it worked almost immediately.

I'm sure you may have already tried these things but if you haven't give it a go. We also literally ran around dancing and jumping with joy if she went on the potty! She thought it was the best thing ever.

Also just wondering, my DD pulls a face when she's about to wee. She sort of stops what she's doing mid activity. Maybe if he does something similar you'll be able to learn this and catch him just before he goes.