Hi all,
My DS is now 4.5 years old, and has big problems using the toilet. At home he is 100% dry and uses the toilet every time to pee, but refuses to poo other than in a nappy. In the nursery, he completely refuses to use the toilet even to pee and always insists on a nappy.
He is also extremly shy and will only speak with adults he fully trusts (his parents, one set of grandparents, and one particular adult in the nursery). I think this is part of the problem - that he is uncomfortable saying when he needs to go to certain people or in certain settings and therefore actively finds ways to avoid that situation. Part of this probably came from his early days in the nursery (we switched after a while because we weren't happy) - they more or less left him on his own, to the point that he would get a chair and sit next to the door looking out the window, waiting for us to pick him up. Dropping him off was always extremely difficult as he would have a complete breakdown every morning. It was also complicated by this being the middle of corona lockdowns which meant there were interruptions, social restrictions, etc. Anyway, he's in a different nursery now which is much better, but perhaps the damage is done.
My DW is firmly in the "let him decide when he's ready" camp, whereas I think he has such a mental block at this point that he needs help to overcome it. Unfortunately professional help is hard to get (long waiting times to see somebody). Has anybody else been through a similar situation and can offer suggestions?