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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

The potty training problem I never hear about

36 replies

Stoppingstorm · 27/04/2023 10:41

I've read a lot of potty training Q&As over the last few months and I've seen a lot about regressions and toddlers, sometimes using the potty and sometimes having accidents. I am struggling to even get my 30 month old DS near this stage.

In December we did a week of the OhCrap method and over Easter, we tried a 3 day method. We had no progress with either. Partner and I both work full time so we're currently trying to get DS to sit on the potty before nursery and before bedtime every day.

The problem seems to be that he doesn't seem to understand what we're asking him to do. He looks at us blankly and starts to chat about other things. I can't seem to keep him focused. When he gets up from the potty, we help him pull his trousers back up and he says 'all clean now'. He has never done anything in the potty.

Does anyone have any ideas as I can't see a way past this? I never really read about this issue.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Tookeffort81 · 27/04/2023 10:42

Anything over 18 months tends to bamboozle me with the maths! 😂

Tookeffort81 · 27/04/2023 10:43

He simply does not sound ready op

Tookeffort81 · 27/04/2023 10:43

Are pre school helping him learn what potty training is all about

Kiwisarenotjustfruit · 27/04/2023 10:45

Try a story book. The pirate pete one is quite good and explains enough to make it obvious. Sometimes the stories shy away from actually using words like ´wee’ and ´poo’ which sounds like it would not suit your circumstances.
Also ´what is poo?’ By usborne books is good.

InDubiousBattle · 27/04/2023 10:46

Wait 6 months and try again.

RenegadeMrs · 27/04/2023 10:47

Does he see other kids or you and your partner use the toilet?

FusRoDah · 27/04/2023 10:48

Neither of my DSs cracked potty training until they were over 3 tbh. Agree with pp that your DS doesn't sound ready. For now read some books about it and work on skills like pulling trousers up/down.

Also, we had zero success with the Oh Crap method (although I know its very popular on MN). We did scheduled toileting - visits to the potty at regular intervals.

CharlotteDoyle · 27/04/2023 10:49

Would it be feasible for you to wait and try again when you have a good chunk of time off work? Trying to squeeze in training before nursery and at bedtime (possibly in a rushed way) might not be productive. If I remember rightly, the Oh Crap method requires you to be watching & following your kid around constantly all day for several days.

Or, as others have said, he just might not be ready.

Simd1 · 27/04/2023 10:53

Also had this issue with both my sons. I agree, there is very little about what to do when they have zero clue how to let something out on the potty. Yours is younger than mine were when they finally cracked it (3 exactly, and nearly 3 and a half!). I honestly nearly had a nervous breakdown with my second as I could no longer cling to the school of thought that says he just wasn't ready. What worked with him was some colour changing stickers on Amazon. They change colour to show a picture when warmish liquid is poured on them. We had ones that would show a picture of a truck, and stuck it to the bottom of the potty. That gave him an incentive to let the pee out so he could see the truck. Total gimmick that cost me like £12 for a packet of them but that was what finally did it.

ReallyShouldBeDoingSomethingElse · 27/04/2023 11:19

Anything over 18 months tends to bamboozle me with the maths! 😂

Perhaps you should go over the basics of the 12 times table. You only have to get as far as 3 x 12.

OP, I'd leave it a few months. There is no point in trying if the base level of understanding on the subject isn't there. In the interim try add a potty-training centred story book to the bookshelf for them to look at if they want to. My DD had a very basic one which she liked.

Lovingitallnow · 27/04/2023 11:28

The oh crap book talks about blocks. So the whole point of having them bare bum is so that they'll start to understand what peeing is, the first block is holy crap there's liquid coming out of me- they won't be used to it in nappies. Then the second is about realising you're peeing and the pee goes in the potty, then third it's about realising I need to pee getting to the potty.

my son used to stand up and pee in his bath for a few months before we started so he skipped stage one and went straight to copping he needs to get the pee in the potty. The second not so much.

WandaWonder · 27/04/2023 11:47

We just let our child do it when they are ready

Mephisneon · 27/04/2023 11:50

So 2 and half? 😂

He doesn't sound ready yet.

MathsNervous · 27/04/2023 11:52

Not ready. Try again in six months.

Rowthe · 27/04/2023 11:54

Wait a few months.

But also maybe start showing him some videos- theres loads on YouTube- potty training videos. And maybe a book.

Theres a princess video online potty training one- its really good, although she does get told off- but I found it helped the kid understand the concept better.

Reugny · 27/04/2023 11:57

He's not ready wait 6 months.

In the meantime make sure he sees other people preferably his peers use the toilet - though be warned this could be a mixed blessing.

Beseen22 · 27/04/2023 12:04

Was he showing any signs of readiness? It doesn't sound like he quite gets the concept yet. There are loads of episodes of their fave shows about going to the toilet maybe needs a bit more prep?

The good thing is that he's quite comfortable in the toilet environment and sitting on the potty so there's no fear of it which is great. Give him a few months and he will be much more ready. You can sit them on the toilet while they are waiting for their bath to run so they feel comfortable on there and if you catch a pee then you can show them.

I get the hype around oh crap the theory makes sense but in reality every kid is so different and you have to just go with your kid's lead. My first loved praise and attention and charts but my second is an introvert and absolutely hated any pressure or attention going to the toilet. He is now 3 and totally dry but still insists on having the door shut everytime and hates discussion of him going to the toilet...he will go when he needs, not when I ask.

DancingQueen2019 · 27/04/2023 12:04

Potty trained at roughly 2 years 8 months using the Oh Crap method.

My son became a nightmare at nappy changes and was telling me when he had wee'd or pooed.

I think I did it over a long weekend of 4 days, first 2 or 3 days is very up and down. Ie you think theyre getting it, then theres a wee all over the floor! If after 3/4 days he is still weeing over the floor - leave it for another time.

What happened when you tried the Oh Crap method? Which I think is just what parents used to do anyway - with now a fancy name! As previous poster said, its just kids getting used to weeing not in a nappy and it going everywhere (as it inevitably does!). A nappy is very convenient for keeping them nice and dry (and keeping them in nappies longer to give more money to the nappy company!)

HowManySunflowers · 27/04/2023 12:09

Is he still in nappies though? Personally I prefer a cold turkey method where you ditch the nappies, put him in pants and then he can associate having an accident with feeling wet afterwards (which he can't do in a nappy). Obviously you do need to accept lots of accidents in the first few days.

lyd4165 · 27/04/2023 12:12

Mum of 3 boys here. All trained late.
1st- 3 years 6months
2nd-2 years 5months (a fluke I feel!)
3rd- 3 years 4 months
If they are ready they will get it in a few days. All 3 of my boys were down to next to no accidents by about day 4/5.
For what it’s worth we cut out the potty and went straight to the loo with a child’s seat and steppy stool to make it easier. I would just wait and try again in 6 months.
I drove myself to tears daily with my first because I was so worried and then our lovely health visitor said to me that you don’t see many kids at 7,8,9 in nappies do you. He’ll get there in the end. From then on with my 2nd and 3rd I just reminded myself of that. That they all get there when they’re ready. 😊

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 27/04/2023 12:13

I tried to potty train my son at 2. He wasn't ready.

Tried again at 2.5. He wasn't ready.

Tried again at almost 3 (35 months). Cracked it in days. After four days, he completely bypassed the potty and insisted on using an actual toilet as that's how grandad did it.

Lwrenagain · 27/04/2023 12:18

My lads have all been late as well, but 2 are asd and the one who isn't diagnosed is a little sensory type (definitely asd traits) so he was late too.

All I can say is please don't stress, it'll come when they're ready.

I've seen parents tie themselves up in knots over this and the reality is once they have the comprehension to crack it, they do.

He'll be reet at the time :)

ModestMoon · 27/04/2023 12:31

Do it over the long weekend or when you have time off work. Try keeping his trousers on so that he feels wet, that way you can remind him to go on the potty.

ModestMoon · 27/04/2023 12:34

But agree that at 2.5 he's young!

RedRobyn2021 · 27/04/2023 12:58

I read Oh Crap and also Sarah Ockwell smith's book Gentle Potty Training

Do you think you have "emotionally" prepared him?

Have you spent time reading books about potty training together and talked to him in the lead up, had him pick out his own underwear in the shops etc

Have you stayed at home with him for decent length of time working on it together?

It's a minefield isn't it

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