Traumatising 3 year old with potty training

[Greencouch]

Hi everyone

After a few failed attempts I am starting to potty train my just turned 3 year old DS.

The first day went as to be expecting with loads of accidents (only wee) but today (day 2) has been horrific, he will happily sit on the potty if he doesn't need to wee but if he does he will become extremely upset and refuse to sit on the potty and even the toilet. The only way he will do anything is if I hold him down on the potty when I know he is desperate to go, which is fine if it is just the once then he realises that it's fine but now he just cries everytime he has to wee, he even cries when he goes to wee in his pants. He will now only wee if I'm holding him on the toilet whilst screaming, He is now holding his wee for up to 6 hours and he hasn't pooed for over 48 hours which is worrying me alot.

I never got mad at him over accidents and encouraged the potty with him loads but he just hates it, he isn't too bad sitting on the toilet but like the potty as soon as he needs to do anything he gets really distressed and wants to get off. I've done the 'straight to pants' method as if he was in pull ups I know he will just be lazy and just go in the nappy.

I'm getting really nervous as he is over 3 and still not potty trained but on the other hand I don't want to give him a negative feeling towards going to the potty.

Any help/suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

We also have a 3.5 year old who completely freaks out at not having a nappy on let alone using the toilet. We had got her to the stage of being happy wearing knickers and sitting on the toilet without a nappy (but not actually using the toilet) but after a bout of norovirus she has regressed to freaking at the whole thing now crying and panicking even at taking her nappy off for a bath. She also struggles with constipation and stool withholding which we're trying to deal with. I feel like an absolute failure as a parent. Every other child her age seems to be toilet trained no issue. When I say she freaks, she will literally stand there terrified, jumping from foot to foot, screaming, crying and shaking. She's normally such a happy girl it's really upsetting. Even her pre-school teacher has said she's tried every trick she knows and is at a loss. So I feel your pain OP. 😞

Put the nappy in the potty.

The best advice I was ever given was to clear 3 or 4 days not leaving the house and to let him run around either naked or with a loose top on. We put potties in the living room and bathrooms for him to use. Yes we had a few accidents to clear (dont make a fuss when they happen)up but by the end of the third day he was (day) trained

Hi Everyone

Thought I would give an update on my potty training journey.

I started the whole adventure again yesterday (last day of term for the summer holidays) and I went straight to using the toilet as last time he screamed when on the potty. He sat on the toilet fine with loads of encouragement and distractions (books and ipad - yes judge me all you like!), as he was so happy to sit on the toilet I tired my luck and suggested that he sit on the potty and to my amazement he did and is now weeing freely in it. We have had a few accidents today but he has mostly done wee in the potty and is happy to sit and try to have a wee. I know its only day 2 and we haven't even encountered pooing yet (he has been doing big poos in his nappy first thing in the morning when he wakes up) but I'm so relived that this time around it is going a lot smoother! I was fully expecting to have the first few weeks of the summer holidays stuck indoors being screamed at as he doesn't want to use the toilet/potty.

Hi. I just wanted to say our daughter is 3.4 and we’ve had two failed attempts - both times she gets super upset when she needs a wee if she hasn’t got a nappy on and will just hold her wee all day and be hysterical.
I totally get the feelings of pressure and failure but I’m having to try to accept that she’s not ready (even though I sometimes think we should just power through) and accept that they’re all different

@brummiemumm hopefully soon something will click and they will decide that they do want to use the toilet 🤞🏼 We called the local health visitor team who said leave it a month and try again