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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

2yo withholding poo

27 replies

Threesmycrowd · 17/03/2023 19:31

We've been potty training DS (2 years and 2 months old) for 1 week. He got the hang of wees straight away and is dry for naps. Poos are becoming more if an issue - at first he'd hold it until he couldnt wait any more, then he'd rush over to the potty and manage to get on just in time. We did the same with these successes as with wees - lots of praise and gave him a sweet. With wees he is clearly pleased with himself but seeing the poo in the potty upset him, he's not glad to have done it.

Today has been awful, he's needed a poo all day and has been running around holding his bottom, crying, asking for a nappy and asking to be changed (even before he's done a poo). He's had three poos but all small - basically whatever he can't hold in any more. I tried putting a nappy in the potty and putting a nappy on him. Neither helped. Also tried reading books/watching favourite tv on potty. And using toilet instead of potty. I'm at a loss. Pooing id becoming an issue but as putting a nappy back on didnt help i dont know how to reduce the pressure on him. He's never been constipated and never struggled to go before now.

Any ideas? He's seen us poo on the toilet (although maybe hasn't looked in the bowl much to see actual poo) and he goes to nursery where he's seen other children using potties. I'm considering pooing on the potty myself to help him!

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Original poster

Threesmycrowd · 17/03/2023 19:33

Oh also of the three today - one was in the potty, the next on the floor near the potty and the third in his pants. So the situation is definitely getting worse!

OP posts:

Oneearringlost · 17/03/2023 19:39

Old fashioned star chart, next to potty?

floodbez1878 · 17/03/2023 19:41

We had this for a while, very common. We used the 'oh crap' potty training book and after a few days we had zero accidents.
Wees she was three days and no accidents.
Absolutely game changer, get it

Original poster

Threesmycrowd · 17/03/2023 19:42

Thanks @Oneearringlost. We have done reward stickers which work for wees but haven't helped with poos - but haven't tried a chart. Can't hurt to add that to the mix!

OP posts:

Original poster

Threesmycrowd · 17/03/2023 19:43

@floodbez1878 thank you! I'll buy it right now!

OP posts:

Buffysoldersister · 17/03/2023 19:46

ERIC website. Amazing advice. I think there is a helpline too. Don't let this become a thing - back off if necessary. Good luck!

Original poster

Threesmycrowd · 17/03/2023 19:48

@Buffysoldersister thanks I looked at ERIC which is why I put a nappy on him, I was trying to back off and give him back an option that used to work. But he behaved the same with the nappy on as with pants. I dont want it to become a thing but I don't know how to stop it being one!

OP posts:

Mossstitch · 17/03/2023 19:48

Totally normal..... Don't panic just keep going as you are and it will get easier! 💩

jannier · 17/03/2023 19:49

Have a look at the Eric website they are a continence charity that deal with all things related including potty training and pooh withholding. It's free and really good no gimmicky advice you don't need to buy a book it's a really common problem.

floodbez1878 · 17/03/2023 19:49

@Threesmycrowd
It was recommended by a friend as we couldn't work out why she wouldn't just poo in the damn potty 🙃 and it explains why and what to do. Apparently it's being without the safety of a nappy and the sensation of it as it's all they've known. Tho it seems totally gross to an adult!

frenchnoodle · 17/03/2023 19:49

Eric advice is to take it slow. Start by putting a nappy on but making him sit on the potty, then cut a hole in the nappy, and make it bigger and bigger.

All over about 6 months to a year.

cozgirls · 17/03/2023 20:03

There's an app called pooland with a story. It's recommended by the nhs. It's great.
Try blowing bubbles while sat on the potty, you can't hold poo and blow at the same time.
I'm practically an expert on poo withholding!

dammiejodger · 17/03/2023 20:09

Going through the same with my daughter. We started on Saturday. Wees fine. She did a poo on the potty Sunday and Monday and was so pleased with herself. Tuesday had accidents and in the evening said she needed a poo but wouldn't go, Wednesday she had two poo accidents in nursery.

Yesterday I could tell she needed a poo but wouldn't go, then this morning I knew she was desperate and she did it in her knickers.

It's exhausting.

floodbez1878 · 17/03/2023 20:12

@dammiejodger
Get the oh crap book. It explains all about why day 2 it all goes wrong.
I'd have gone crazy without it as I was dreading potty training

floodbez1878 · 17/03/2023 20:12

@dammiejodger day 3 I meant!

Bluebirds1987 · 17/03/2023 20:14

If he's scared of going in the potty and has started holding it, I would say be very careful as this can quickly escalate to constipation and much longer and complicated issues. I'd say the main thing would be to encourage him to poo when he feels he needs to, rather than focusing on where the poo goes. If that means putting a nappy back on then I'd put it on just for poos. If he'll then sit on the potty with a nappy on and poo, great. Then transition to taking the nappy off.

It's early days though and great suggestions on all the pooland stuff and explaining it. You can also get him to watch you do a poo - if you think about it it is totally abnormal to them if they never actually see anyone else doing it!

But yeah just speaking from experience as my LG has real issues with holding and it's been going on for over a year now.

AliasGrape · 17/03/2023 20:14

Second the recommendation of the poo goes to Pooland app, really helped my daughter.

Original poster

Threesmycrowd · 17/03/2023 20:19

Thanks all. I should have said I also downloaded pooland and showed it to him earlier! He did look at it but I think he was maybe a bit young for the story to make sense. I'll try again though in case some of it sinks in!
@Bluebirds1987 I agree and I did put a nappy back on but it didn't help him. I think he now understands not to go in the nappy and so he didn't want to. He behaved in exactly the same way wearing the nappy as in pants. I also tried putting the potty behind the sofa where he used to poo in his nappy. No luck.

I really don't want this to become an issue! But I don't know how to stop it becoming one. It already is! Hope Oh Crap has the answers!

OP posts:

Magentaa · 17/03/2023 20:21

Let him do it in the nappy and empty it in the potty so he can see that’s where it goes. Then let him see you flush it away down the toilet. Try not to force it too much go at his speed. At age 6 we still have issues with DD poo wise. Also my DS is 2.5 and won’t even do a wee on the potty and is terrified of just ‘trumping’ so gunna be hard work with him!

Buffysoldersister · 17/03/2023 20:26

I feel your pain OP. My best advice would be try and be very very relaxed. So don't reward or punish or be disappointed or excessively pleased. If he does a poo - anywhere! - just say 'great, you did a poo. Then if its e.g. on the floor 'maybe ask for a nappy next time so we can clean it up quicker'.

My dc much preferred the seats that fit onto the toilet so that's another thing to have a go with.

And yes to poo goes to pooland

User17865 · 17/03/2023 20:58

I would give him a tiny dose of stool softener. Otherwise you may end up with big problems. If you ring the GP they’ll prescribe one but in the mean time, as it’s weekend, I’d just buy adult Movicol and give him half a sachet a day. It’s identical to the child one just a double dose. If you ring 111 you can probably get to see an out of hours GP to get some child dose.
I’ also put a nappy on him twice a day as you have been. Lots of reassurance, but in my experience it was only the Movicol that solved it because it was so soft DC couldn’t hold it in.

Original poster

Threesmycrowd · 17/03/2023 21:49

Thanks everyone for your ideas and support :) and hope things improve soon for us both @dammiejodger

OP posts:

TheIsleOfTheLost · 17/03/2023 22:02

He is still very young, so if you need to go back to nappies, just do it. Having a child that spent years withholding was not fun. Potty training can be a back and forth thing.

dammiejodger · 18/03/2023 08:08

floodbez1878 · 17/03/2023 20:12

@dammiejodger
Get the oh crap book. It explains all about why day 2 it all goes wrong.
I'd have gone crazy without it as I was dreading potty training

Thank you - ordered ✅

dammiejodger · 18/03/2023 08:09

Threesmycrowd · 17/03/2023 21:49

Thanks everyone for your ideas and support :) and hope things improve soon for us both @dammiejodger

Thank you, hope your son settles soon. I'm finding it a lot more stressful second time round. Fingers crossed for us

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