Potty training consultant for 4 year old persistent soiling

[newmuminSW]

Hi all - reaching out as I’m absolutely desperate. My 4 year old son has never learnt to poo in the potty/toilet. He eventually learnt to wee in the potty/toilet after the 3rd toilet training attempt about 8 months ago but poos are always done in the nappy or pants. We have tried everything to help him learn - rewards of all types, him deciding on the potty/toilet seat/pants we buy, books and videos about poo and toilets, prompting him, not prompting him etc. He would sit on the toilet, and then poo as soon as he was up and away from it. Attempts to get him to tell us what’s going on have been useless, he says something different every time, giggles or says he can’t hear us! He’s been on Movicol for months to rule out constipation, GP and paediatrician are also out of ideas. Nursery have been supportive for a while but got tired of the mess and now refusing him to wear pants while in their care and have switched him back to nappies, which isn’t helping. I’m beyond heartbroken to see my otherwise healthy, intelligent, beautiful boy smeared in poo, sitting in dirty underwear and refusing to get changed. I’d like to speak to a potty training consultant as well in case this is behavioural, and I was wondering if anyone has any experience with Rebecca Mottram and LitteBunnyBear? Any other recommendations of specialists we could get advice from or any other ideas would be greatly appreciated.

Unfortunately there isn't much the doctors will do until they are over 5, as it's not "medically late". At least where we live.

You are not alone though OP my 4 year old is also not potty trained yet. I think it's more common than people like to admit.

That must be very frustrating for youand unpleasant to deal with.

Do you think it’s become a battle of wills?
Is he frightened in any way of the toilet itself?

Could there be autism?
Maybe he likes the feeling of wearing nappies?

Does he use the loo or potty for other people?

Does he have any awareness of when he is pooing? Does he find a quiet spot or tell you when he is about to go at all?

In our area the health visitor can refer to the local continence service over the age of 4.

How much Movicol is he on each day? I'm my experience GPs are hopeless with this sort of thing.

My 4 year old did all his poos in his pants for months. Turned out to be faecal impaction. We'd been under-treating constipation for months due to poor advice from the GP on how to use Movicol. He was doing one or more poos every day so we wrongly assumed no constipation issues. Had to do a disimpaction and things are improving though we aren't there yet with the soiling.

If your DC is impacted he may not be able to properly feel when he needs to poo and it may not be behavioural.

Before you shell out lots of money, check out www.eric.org.uk and also the 'Movicol Mummies' group on Facebook.

Also search for 'the poo nurses' on youtube'.

Also recommend ERIC. I recently spoke to them re my DD. It is not the same situation as yours but the lady I spoke to was the nicest lady, so kind and understanding. She, and the website were so so helpful for us and helped us along the way.

@newmuminSW hello - appreciate an old thread but did you get a resolution for your situation in the end? I do hope so. We are in similar position and was looking at the consultant you mentioned, did you go ahead with her in the end? Thank you !