How many accidents are normal

[unicornglittersprinkles]

DD is 2.7 and has been in knickers for 2 months now. Before starting potty training she would tell us when she was doing a wee or poo and would ask to be changed so we certainly felt she was ready.

For the first couple of weeks she was brilliant, 3-4 accidents day 1, 1 accident day 2 and 0 accidents days 3/4. Then she returned to nursery and that whole first week she must’ve had 4-5 accidents per day. Ok, I thought, change of environment, she’ll get it. We stuck with it and the accidents at nursery reduced to 1-2 per day with plenty of successes and still 0 accidents at home.

We’re now 9 weeks in and although nursery accidents have reduced to 1-2 per week, she’s now started having accidents at home. I’d say she now has at least 1 accident per day. Obviously that still means plenty of successes but I can’t help wondering if it’s right to still be having so many accidents after 2 months. I know they’re all different but my older two (both 5) were pretty reliable at this point.

I’d love to hear if anyone else has had a similar experience and what did you do to help them? Are we right to just keep persevering or do we need to go back to basics?

Hi, following with interest.

we are two weeks in and during the first week she did so so well and this second week there are lots of accidents at nursery, poos have been very haphazard and even at home she’s had two wee accidents and did her poo in her pull up at nap time.

not sure what to do as don’t feel like I can turn back now

Also @unicornglittersprinkles i see this was a month ago - how are you guys getting on now?

Unfortunately pretty much the same. We can go a week with no accidents then she’ll suddenly have 5 in one day. So much more of a slog than it was with my older two

Did you train her earlier than the other two?

Any particular pattern to accidents? Is she nervous to go, has difficulty getting undressed, too busy playing to notice etc? Look for a pattern to her accidents and work from there.

My DS went through a stage of being too interested in something and not going until he was desperate.

Watching with interest as I'm in a similar situation! I've only been at it a month with DD2 but having got down to (usually) one accident a day within a few days of starting - that's where we're still at. She can get through a day with no accidents, but that's rare - and it's not unusual for there to be a couple. There's not really much of a pattern - except she clearly doesn't know when she's finished doing a poo! We have had a few apparently successful poos in the toilet then ten-twenty minutes later we get the rest in the pants! DD1 was basically sorted by the second weekend. I feel like this time it's going too well to give up, but we don't really seem to be making progress towards reliability. She's 3 and 4 months.

If she is having an accident a day, then it doesn't sound like she is ready for whatever reason. I'd go back to pull ups but still reminding her to go.

@Bicthebiro I know that was aimed at the OP and I don't want to hijack the thread but: would you say the same for an older kid?! I'm in a similar situation with mine but she's almost 3.5 and I feel like there's a point where "ready" stops being the guiding principle and you just need to run with it. But maybe I'm wrong....

Just an update, we are having some progress. Practically no accidents at home and a couple at nursery, usually because she’s too engrossed in playing, tells the practitioners last minute, and they need a minute to get to her.

I do think that if they’re only having once accident a day you need to keep going. They are clearly ready, and it’s just a case of practice and getting into the swing of it. Being particularly on alert when she’s playing has helped. Also a lot of right, do you want to do x? OK let’s do a wee wee first!

We’re now at no accidents on the days she’s at home and 2-3 on nursery days. I absolutely think she’s capable, just can’t be bothered/doesn’t have the motivation/too busy. Weirdly she’s cracked poos (which I know is usually last) and is dry at night, it’s just wees through the day she’s struggling with. Knows she needs to go and dashes there but has often left it too late and started to dribble in her knickers but then does the rest on the potty.

I should add that she can stay dry all day if I take her every 1.5-2 hours. We’re just struggling with getting her to take the lead

Hi @unicornglittersprinkles having a similar issue with my DD. Holds and then doesn't leave enough time to get to potty or toilet most of the time. Did you have any luck?

After a disastrous week at nursery - 4-5 accidents per day - we had to go back to pull-ups for both the sake of our washing machine and our sanity. At home, she keeps her pull-ups clean and dry and has even started taking herself to the potty. At nursery, it’s the complete opposite, just goes in her pull-up. I do think that nursery haven’t been particularly supportive and have an attitude of leaving them to get on with it which isn’t helpful. I’ve raised it several times but still nothing changes. I’d probably push it more if it wasn’t for the fact that she’s moving nurseries in January so we’ll try again then.

Amen. Exactly same situation, although nursery in Jan require DD to be potty trained so we're against the clock. We've been v disappointed in current nursery's lack of support.

As long as she isn't treating the pull ups as nappies I'd keep her in them for now, and keep encouraging. Is she upset by needing to be changed at nursery? She'll be out of them soon I'm sure!

She asks for her knickers back and doesn’t like being changed which is probably a good thing but she’s not overly upset about the pull-ups either. She managed to keep her pull-up clean and fry all day today…..and it was a nursery day 🙌