3 years and 8 months and won't use potty

[Katieboo40]

I'm so stressed as I write this. My daughter is 3 years and 8 months and refuses to toilet train. She is super anxious and when she has tried to go, as soon as she feels a wee coming she jumps off the loo and cries and cries. I can tell she really wants to but she has built it up into something huge 😭 we've tried being chilled with it, picking her own pants, decorating potty....all of the tricks and nothing is working. She can be naked for hours but as soon as she feels a wee or poo coming she wants her nappy on. She will "practice sitting on the loo" but that's it. Any advice? My son was a breeze compared 😫

Bribery! A promise of a treat she really likes if that wee goes in the toilet. Have the treat in front of her, my boys all loved chocolate buttons or smarties.

I can sympathise! My DD is 3 years 7 months and we are getting nowhere. I am unbelievably stressed about it.
We have tried every trick and tip that’s ever suggested and it makes no difference.

Sorry, that’s not very helpful but offering sympathy and support.

Thank you both for your replies. I'm sorry you are going through this too. It's so stressful. Bribery doesn't work. In fact I think it's the pressure that makes it even worse for her. If we say she can have a lollypop or something she will run to the loo or potty and then just freak out and cry. She has always hated pressure and can't cope with expectations ☹️

My DC has just turned 4 and still won't poo un the toilet. I've had six months of washing out shitty pants multiple times a day. You are not alone!

They are used to the feeling of being covered. When she practices sitting on the toilet cover her with paper, the feeling of being covered might help. Otherwise you can cut a hole in a nappy but it disintegrates like crazy so isn’t ideal. We also only rewarded sitting on the toilet for 5 minutes, never the actual output.

First get her to pee on the loo wearing the nappy, she can take off the nappy, wipe, flush and put on clean pants, then wash hands.
Then cut a line in the nappy so the pee could go in the loo. Carry on peeing in the loo and wiping flushing and hand washing (the rest of the routine is important because it takes the focus off the peeing in the loo)
Once that is fine create crotchless nappies for peeing in and then, no nappy…. Go very slowly and always into pants afterwards.

No more nappies. (In the day at least). Explain to her they're just for nighttime now. My daughter was a nightmare to toilet train. She'd be distraught and terrified. What worked was REALLY upping my bribery and holding her down - which felt awful. She would try to get off to potty but I'd gently hold her on it. When she eventually went for the first time (whilst being held on it and crying) I sprung her up mega excited and ran her straight to the shop for an ice lolly. That did the trick and broke the cycle